No Contact for the married-with-children?

[anonymous]

I have been reading alot here about "No Contact" and I think that it makes alot of sense. However, my wife and I have 2 children

who I will not stay away from, especially now that I am realizing some things I have been doing wrong and not being with my

kids enough was one.

 

I would like to hear from any married-with-children who have had to (or tried to) do "no contact" and how you did it and how

it effected things. Most of the accounts of no-contact I have seen are from gf/bf, not marrieds, and I tend to belive there is a

pretty significant difference in the types of relationships.

 

I think it pretty obvious that strict no-contact cannot be accomplished in this situation, but I am guessing others here have had to do the married-with-children variation of no contact, just want some input on how it can work.

 

To give more on my situation, seperated for 2 weeks, wife keeps telling me to give her time, though recently she said she just didnt see us working things out "right now" so after falling apart once again on the phone with her I agreed to not call her anymore, and am resolved to not fall apart in her presence (even on the phone) again. I still will be seeing her at least 2 times a week to get my kids for visists, and plan to make that short and sweet as possible.

 

Looking forward to hearing from you all.

[sportsloving]

When you drop off or pick up your children, keep any conversation polite, short, sweet and to the point. Don't offer more, don't ask for more ... but by any means don't be cruel or cold.

 

If one of your previous mistakes was not spending enough time with the kids, make sure you pick them up and drop them off at the designated times and if problems do arise ... try to let her have enough time to adjust (if you can't pick up at a time, call as soon as you find out). I think your visitation with your children would be a great start to showing her that you do care and your family is very important to you

 

Good luck to you I hope the best happens for you.

[anonymous]

After she told me once more she loves me but cannot be with me last night, I told her I would not call her anymore. So now I still need to call to arrange to see my kids, and as I am making my weeks plans so I can do it all at once, she sends me a text message:

 

"Kids are swimming"

 

Do I respond? or do I ignore it!

[brashgal]

It is hard to just talk about the kids but that's what I had to do. I also don't let him in the house unless absolutely necessary, I greet him at the door with the kid all ready to go. When he drops the kid off, same thing - in fact he has stopped getting out of the car.

 

Not sure why she is telling you the kids are swimming. If it feels too rude to ignore her I'd say "that's nice". In the early days I made sure if I got caught in conversation that I was going somewhere or there was something on the stove - any excuse to cut the conversation short. It gets easier, they get the message eventually and start depending on someone else for their emotional support.

[KANSAN]

I'M IN ALMOST THE SAME SITUATION, I ONLY HAVE ONE DAUGHTER THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH AND WOULD LOVE TO SPEND EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY WITH.

WHAT I DO IS ONLY TALK TO HER WHEN I WANT TO PICK THE KID UP AND WHEN I'M DROPPING OFF.

SHE HAS MADE IT A LITTLE EASIER FOR ME OR HARDER HOWEVER YOU LOOK AT IT BUY NOT TALKING TO ME ABOUT THE KID ALTHOUGH I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW BUT WHAT DO YOU DO WITHOUT BOTHERING HER.

BE NICE TRY TO TALK ONLY WHEN YOU MUST AND ONLY ABOUT THE KIDS AND MOVE ON I KNOW ITS HARD BUT IF YOU HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER LET HER KNOW THAT YOU'RE WILLING TO LET HER GO IF THATS WHAT REALLY MAKES HER HAPPY AND MOVE ON KNOWING THAT YOU'VE TRIED EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY TOGETHER.