StrongerThanB4 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 So I'm caught in the middle. Basically my son's birthday has come and gone in early January, and both his "single mom" aunts with 3 kids each simply ignored it. Fine...I'm fine with that...as my son doesnt really need the gifts or what not. They don't ever go over $20 on a gift either how. In any case..one of the aunts has decided to throw 1 party for 2 of her kids in a few weeks..and has requested money as gifts as this would provide what they "really" would like. I know for a fact no one else there will be giving monetary gifts as well. So my husband has decided that we shouldn't go and just basically boycott. They each buy each others kids gifts but have for some reason excluded my son and have no problem requesting certain items their children would like from us for special occassions. One of them is now back with the ex husband. I really don't know which way to approach this situation. Its not the kids faults but at the same time my husband doesnt now feel the need to spend $100 or so dollars when they simply ignored our sons b-day. They do go out on the weekends and smoke but couldnt buy my son a simple $20 is what I get from him now. I agree but disagree..as it isnt the kids faults...but at the same time...it isnt my sons fault either. Please Help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lois Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 What an ugly sense of entitlement they have. I agree with your husband, don't go. Send them a birthday card, that's it. How would your son will feel, celebrating their birthday when his was ignored by them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author StrongerThanB4 Posted April 18, 2012 Author Share Posted April 18, 2012 What an ugly sense of entitlement they have. I agree with your husband, don't go. Send them a birthday card, that's it. How would your son will feel, celebrating their birthday when his was ignored by them? I agree with the ugly sense of entitlement quote...as they have both been this way since I first met them. I guess your right in placing my sons feelings first! Just feel bad for the kids either way. They are the only ones who lose out for the parents selfishness. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 May I say that I got the eerie sense by this entire topic that it does boil down to money. Not kids, not emotions or how you come off. Rather its about whether they would spend money on your child and vice versa. My family solved that YEARS AGO. My siblings and I came to the just conclusion that the "party" itself was the gift, and all my nieces and nephews loved seeing the entire family together. We did NOT center it around the "GIFTS" but rather the games we played in the yard and the food we each brought. We are ole fashion in the sense that we never felt Gifts were mandatory. It was the "parents" that gave the one or two grand gifts - A new bike, A long awaited concert trip, a weekend camping...Yeah what can I say, we beleived you cant wrap up experinces and good times...they are just too big! So you are welcome to change things in family dynamics anytime you want. Its taking that step to address it maturely. So just ask yourself...is it really about celebrating the day, honoring that special child, or is the center of attention the "gifts" presented. Our family celebrates and honors differently .... Link to post Share on other sites
Author StrongerThanB4 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) May I say that I got the eerie sense by this entire topic that it does boil down to money. Not kids, not emotions or how you come off. Rather its about whether they would spend money on your child and vice versa. My family solved that YEARS AGO. My siblings and I came to the just conclusion that the "party" itself was the gift, and all my nieces and nephews loved seeing the entire family together. We did NOT center it around the "GIFTS" but rather the games we played in the yard and the food we each brought. We are ole fashion in the sense that we never felt Gifts were mandatory. It was the "parents" that gave the one or two grand gifts - A new bike, A long awaited concert trip, a weekend camping...Yeah what can I say, we beleived you cant wrap up experinces and good times...they are just too big! So you are welcome to change things in family dynamics anytime you want. Its taking that step to address it maturely. So just ask yourself...is it really about celebrating the day, honoring that special child, or is the center of attention the "gifts" presented. Our family celebrates and honors differently .... Well obviously it isnt about money as we are the ones who are always forking it out. Regardless of the many years my child hasnt gotten gifts for occassions we have always gone over and beyond regardless. Not sure what exactly your trying to insinuate with this isnt about the kids, or emotions or how I'm coming off but it sure does sound snarky. I don't have THIS issue with MY family either. Its my husbands family. I really think your spinning this around to seem like its our fault for what? I have no idea. I'm glad your family dynamics is depending on the "parents" to buy the BIG gift...but these children dont even get that! We are usually the "big" gift...and yes we do it because we love the kids ...PERIOD. Not because we're whining about spending the money afterwards. Totally not a money issue...but more like an ugly sense of entitlement like the previous poster stated. Edited April 19, 2012 by StrongerThanB4 Link to post Share on other sites
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