"Creepy" & dating

[zengirl]

Interesting definitions. fwiw, I've called both women and men "bitchy" and don't mind that word at all. The word "slutty" generally attempts to shame sexual behavior that's perfectly fine and often applies a double standard, and that's my only issue with it.

 

I actually think there's a double standard with "creepy" as well, but towards women. I've heard men call women creepy for essentially 'chasing' them in ways that it's "romantic" if men do -- i.e. sending gifts to their workplace on early dates, texting too much, planning big, romantic gestures. That said, I've heard men labeled "creepy" for those same things, just not as often. Usually men get labeled "creepy" for things that are more sexual in nature, IMO.

 

The men I actually know IRL tend to use the word "creepy" and "stalkerish" interchangeably.

 

I apply the term "creepy" to people or situations that give me the skin crawling sensation.

 

Twice for this one. Interesting. I cannot remember actually having that sensation, personally, but typically I consider something "creepy" when it gives me that stone-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach feeling. I've never actually felt my skin crawl. I also use it for when something seems stalkerish -- whether it's done by a woman or a guy.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Ross,

 

Exactly. Robin's character is the definition of creepy.

[zengirl]

I actually think there's a double standard with "creepy" as well, but towards women. I've heard men call women creepy for essentially 'chasing' them in ways that it's "romantic" if men do -- i.e. sending gifts to their workplace on early dates, texting too much, planning big, romantic gestures.

 

I wanted to amend this -- not so much a double standard, probably, but just that the guys I know don't like this sort of stuff, whereas my female friends are more split (some like it, some don't). 'Stalkerish' and 'creepy' becomes advances you don't like -- not advances from someone you're not attracted to, as some have said, as much as the TYPE of advance you don't like, IME --, after all, and we all dislike different things.

[Emilia]

Really? It doesn't shock me at all. I understand perfectly why. It seems that the guys who are seen as creepy by girls are guys who are somehow intrinsically ashamed of their sexual desires. I was going to say ashamed of their masculinity too, but I don't think the two are completely tied together, although it's probably case of that.

 

Those guys who are players might have their sense of morality questioned but they own their sexual desire and they own their identity completely. Or at least they appear to and are pretty good at putting up facades. Some girls will be PC and call them creepy but generally they admire that they seem to not be anxious around them.

 

Especially the bolded part.

 

One of my recent exes is uncomfortable with his sexuality in the sense that he often feels some kind of guilt that he blames on his prudish upbringing (still a great lover though ) but he isn't ashamed of his masculinity at all. Maybe that's why he isn't creepy but quite straight forward and honest.

[EasyHeart]

I've never heard a woman called "creepy".

 

For guys, it can be either the sleazy player (or, more accurately, wannabe player) or the socially awkward dork. But it's basically someone who is exceptionally bad at approaching women.

[Nohbody]

Maybe "creep" is a label you can apply to anyone for any reason as a means of dehumanizing them because they don't act according to what your narrow definition of "socially appropriate". Maybe it isn't very nice to call people names.

[Ross MwcFan]

Maybe "creep" is a label you can apply to anyone for any reason as a means of dehumanizing them because they don't act according to what your narrow definition of "socially appropriate". Maybe it isn't very nice to call people names.

 

I think you can't really help it if someone comes across as creepy to you. But I agree, unless they deserve it, you shouldn't be calling them creepy or looking down on them, as it just isn't nice.