JoeyArnold Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) You are from the Philippines. I randomly become friends with you on Facebook in 2010. I have never met you in person. You start reading what I write on Facebook. You are too shy to tell me that you like me until I randomly give you a compliment two or so weeks ago. We then start chatting & somehow we start talking about marriage. I tell you that maybe someday I will propose, that is if I someday pick you. You were raised Roman Catholic. I was raised Baptist. You say you are ok that I'm Baptist. Yet, do you have hidden agendas? Are you just using me to get you & your seven year old son into the United States? You say you want to care for me & want to go wherever I go as missionaries. I believe that I'm really good at reading people, but what if I'm not as good as I think I am? What if you're really evil & that I'm just to blind to see that? Edited April 19, 2012 by JoeyArnold Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Well Mr. Arnold- I'd advise thinking twice about getting involved with a woman with a 7 year old child you've never met from a foreign country that you've only had fleeting contact with over the internet... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 It's not a good plan to be talking marriage with someone you've never met. And it is possible that women like that are looking for a green card. Cultural differences are also an issue. It's not easy to make a relationship with someone from a culture very different than your own. You may want to encourage her to pursue her ambition to become a missionary. Perhaps you could both be missionaries in the same location. But don't talk marriage or anything serious about a relationship together at this point. You've never met the woman yet. It's way too early to be talking like that with her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
blugirl Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 A single Filipina with a son already? You better watch out. There are many easy girls in the Philippines, they have sex with whoever asks for it and that has its consequence in becoming a single mother - plus they are masters in seducing men and manipulating people, everything just to get out of PH to a better country so you better think 10 times before engaging in something more serious with her. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 >I tell you that maybe someday I will propose, that is if I someday pick you. < You might propose to someone you've never met?! You can't properly 'read' someone you've never met. What's the purpose of this post? For us to tell you that someone you've not met may or may not be 'evil', how could we possibly tell you something about someone we know nothing about, and that you've never met?! Are you a teenager? You are from the Philippines. I randomly become friends with you on Facebook in 2010. I have never met you in person. You start reading what I write on Facebook. You are too shy to tell me that you like me until I randomly give you a compliment two or so weeks ago. We then start chatting & somehow we start talking about marriage. I tell you that maybe someday I will propose, that is if I someday pick you. You were raised Roman Catholic. I was raised Baptist. You say you are ok that I'm Baptist. Yet, do you have hidden agendas? Are you just using me to get you & your seven year old son into the United States? You say you want to care for me & want to go wherever I go as missionaries. I believe that I'm really good at reading people, but what if I'm not as good as I think I am? What if you're really evil & that I'm just to blind to see that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoeyArnold Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Are you a teenager? Am I a teenager? No. I am 27 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Ok, sorry, that's how it came across. Just not sure how we can advise you? Am I a teenager? No. I am 27 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) You are from the Philippines. I randomly become friends with you on Facebook in 2010. I have never met you in person. You start reading what I write on Facebook. You are too shy to tell me that you like me until I randomly give you a compliment two or so weeks ago. We then start chatting & somehow we start talking about marriage. Odd how marriage came up quickly... You don't really know her that well. A week or two is very early... Don't move too fast in this relationship... I tell you that maybe someday I will propose, that is if I someday pick you. As you've never met, don't be so committed that you end up making a big mistake.... Marriage is a big commitment... More than just lovey-dovey feelings you have now... If you propose to her without really knowing her, things may pop-up after you've proposed.... Dating is to see what you want (and don't want) in a partner... Hard to see now, but you may see some things in the other girl you’ve posted about and this one that don't interest you... or turn you off... They may see some things too.... May be hard to back-off once you've proposed... You'd be in a weaker position if you tell her you may propose to her... Could save you some heartache... You were raised Roman Catholic. I was raised Baptist. You say you are ok that I'm Baptist. Yet, do you have hidden agendas? Are you just using me to get you & your seven year old son into the United States? You say you want to care for me & want to go wherever I go as missionaries. I believe that I'm really good at reading people, but what if I'm not as good as I think I am? What if you're really evil & that I'm just to blind to see that? Would say you're wise to have these concerns. Not sure why she wants to get married so soon... Maybe she wants a dad for her kid... Get to know her first... She may have motives you don't know about... A successful physician I know married a woman from South America... She couldn't speak English... Everyone tried to talk some sense in him.... Maybe he was panicky @ not ever being married @42.... Think of GIs marrying brides they met in the war or on a Pacific Island.... They may know them a little... but not much.... The women may like them and they may have had sex... but like the guys, may not really know them. Perhaps they want to leave their country, which is in bad shape... To guys who've never been successful at relationships, it all looks very enticing... Next time you talk, say you spoke too soon... Say you're new at dating and don't always say the right things. She shouldn't rush you... Remember, any girl you date has to develop feelings for you on her own... as you need to generate feelings for her as well... on your timeframe and comfort level... Do a search on dating overseas women. See if there are any patterns (like talking marriage early). Usually, the topic doesn't come up early in dating. My advice is to slow things a little esp. as you've only talked a week or so and are already talking marriage... No reason to rush into marriage...Marriage is a serious business... Edited April 19, 2012 by FredRutherford Link to post Share on other sites
pettie Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Massive red flags! It's not good to make generalisations or fall into (country of procedence) stereotypes, but this looks very suspicious. Regardless her nationality, be careful with this situation! Some bad men/women would do anything in order to get a passport from a 1st world country. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoeyArnold Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Things may pop-up. She wants to be my teacher. She thinks I should delete some of my pictures & videos where I am acting immature. I told her that I would let her help me clean up the messes in my life as I mature. Secretly, however, I am asking myself if she might become a control freak, a boss, or a clean freak, who will slowly seek to take over my life. I'm interested in marrying a partner, not a woman who will suppress my creativity by calling it immature. I'm not against her desire to help. I actually think it's something that I really need in life. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Judging by your other thread, what happened to your friend who lived hundreds of miles away? How many of these women are you communicating with? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 You know that there is plenty amiss. That's why you started this thread. I'm sure there are plenty of reasons for a woman to like you - and this random person is not acquainted with any of them, especially not enough to bring up marriage. You know this. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I agree, yes, who is the woman in your other thread, someone you've met in real life? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/friendship/319958-ever-fell-love-your-best-friend Judging by your other thread, what happened to your friend who lived hundreds of miles away? How many of these women are you communicating with? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Don't even go there, it's very likely she is a scam artist, and if she isn't, she's probably a control freak. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoeyArnold Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 She's probably a control freak. She told me my Facebook profile was too old & that some of my pictures & videos are immature & should be removed & that I should check with her before adding new pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 She told me my Facebook profile was too old & that some of my pictures & videos are immature & should be removed & that I should check with her before adding new pictures. I'd run as far away as possible from her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I think she should run as far away from him as possible too, she's not the only woman he's pursuing. I'd run as far away as possible from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoeyArnold Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 I think she should run as far away from him as possible too, she's not the only woman he's pursuing. Who said I'm pursuing other girls? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Someone else in this thread pointed out you were interested in another woman on your other thread, see link I posted earlier. Who said I'm pursuing other girls? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 You talked about her in this thread too >http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/320229-why-she-embarrassed< You're not talking about the same woman in* this* thread, as you've not met the woman you're talking about in this thread, but you've met the other one. Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) I think she should run as far away from him as possible too, she's not the only woman he's pursuing. The other woman lives out of state, in the U.S. She isn't expressing any strong desire to become BF/GF, as he wants, as he posted. He's the one wanting to personally visit the first women and try to move their friendship into a dating relationship. As he and the first woman aren't exclusively dating, and she doesn't even seem receptive to that possibility, (she seemed shocked or surprised when he expressed his feelings toward her), it is fine for him to pursue other women casually. If someone gets serious in dating and they agree they're exclusive, then neither should date others. Someone else in this thread pointed out you were interested in another woman on your other thread, see link I posted earlier. It's casual or initial interest. Via email/Facebook, etc. Though it sounds like the overseas woman wants something serious, they don't really know each other yet. He knows the other girl very well, from the hour-long weekly telephone conversations. If it were I, I would focus on the "local" girl and try to change her into a GF. However, women aren't always so receptive, so he needs to keep his options open. Edited April 20, 2012 by FredRutherford Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Link didn't work, try again http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/320229-why-she-embarrassed#post3952128 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 It all sounds a bit crazy to me, I'll butt out. The other woman lives out of state, in the U.S. She isn't expressing any strong desire to become BF/GF, as he wants, as he posted. He's the one wanting to personally visit the first women and try to move their friendship into a dating relationship. As he and the first woman aren't exclusively dating, and she doesn't even seem receptive to that possibility, (she seemed shocked or surprised when he expressed his feelings toward her), it is fine for him to pursue other women casually. If someone gets serious in dating and they agree they're exclusive, then neither should date others. It's casual or initial interest. Via email/Facebook, etc. Though it sounds like the overseas woman wants something serious, they don't really know each other yet. He knows the other girl very well, from the hour-long weekly telephone conversations. If it were I, I would focus on the "local" girl and try to change her into a GF. However, women aren't always so receptive, so he needs to keep his options open. Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 It all sounds a bit crazy to me, I'll butt out. No need to leave. I'm just saying he doesn't owe allegiance to any particular woman yet, until they at least start dating. The OP can use some good advice here, particularly from people who've dated overseas partners. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 No, he has no allegiance to any one woman, just seems odd to be saying this to one woman (the one he's not sure he should trust!) >I tell you that maybe someday I will propose, that is if I someday pick you.< And on the other hand in other threads talking about falling in love with his best friend, he sounds very confused when it comes to relationships. No need to leave. I'm just saying he doesn't owe allegiance to any particular woman yet, until they at least start dating. The OP can use some good advice here, particularly from people who've dated overseas partners. Link to post Share on other sites
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