curious_gal Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) Hi everyone – I’m new here and have a quick question. It may seem silly but here it is. I have been with my live in boyfriend forfour years now. He has done things inthe past to show me that he has cheated. At least an emotional. Not sureof physical. He said that it hasstopped. Anyway, I have major trustissues. Now yesterday I was sortingthrough laundry and the basket reeked of his cologne and I found that hisboxers smelled of his cologne in the crotch area so he sprayed them for somereason. Now I’ve smelled this here andthere, from time to time so he’s done it before but it’s random. Not every day What is the reasoning for this? I don’t want to be paranoid so I’m wonderingif this is something that guys just do from time to time? Or did he have a hot date and wanted to smellgood down there for her? Because he sureas hell doesn’t spray his boxers for me when it’s just us two. Does this mean he’s cheating? Any advice to help me think “rationally” here would be great. Edited April 19, 2012 by curious_gal Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Maybe he ran out of Febreze? Have you asked him? Presumably since you're living together you can ask each other direct questions such as, "hey, I was doing laundry and your boxers smelled really strongly of cologne - how'd that happen?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author curious_gal Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 January 2011 – I wish I could bring that up casually but hewill get defensive. I mentionedsomething about the stains that I noticed once and he called me an “underwearchecker and sniffer”. Went straight onthe defensive. Not sure if that wasbecause he was embarrassed or because he got caught. I know it’s not a “hygiene” problem as he’s the cleanest manI know (uses baby wipes, etc.) so the fact that his underwear were sprayed is very odd to me. I wish that it was that easy. I’m trying to think of a way to bring it upwithout him flipping out on me Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Honestly, if trust has been betrayed to the point that you SNIFF his UNDERWEAR, you should just break up and find someone who is trusthworthy and who won't cheat on you in any way, including emotional. Not sure why someone would spray their undies with cologne. That seems VERY odd. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 If he was cheating, wouldn't he wash after sex or bring extra underwear with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 If he was cheating, wouldn't he wash after sex or bring extra underwear with him? Not necessarily. That would imply some deep kind of cheating relationship and planning. But one can cheat in a lot of lesser levels. One would be, say, making out with someone only to have a major pre-cum release. Perhaps the dude decided to try to kill the semen smell with some Yardley. I've never sprayed my underwear but then again I was never unfaithful in a relationship. (I did spray my genitals once with none other than Yardley cologne just for the hell of it and it hurt terribly like being slapped or kicked in the testes. OMG that was awful.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author curious_gal Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Thanks for the advice so far. I think if he is cheating it's an "affair"/"relationship" type thing. Believe me, if he is, he knows that I check so he's going to be extra carefeul. The cologne smell is only at the upper crotch area. You can tell he sprayed the outside. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 not enough evidence, follow him in secret to see more and catch him out or not, when is he next going out by himself... Link to post Share on other sites
Author curious_gal Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 I like the idea but it's very hard for me to do that. He goes to work before I do and gets off 2 hours before I do. He's home by the time I get home. Always checks in. If he is doing something as I'm suspecting it has to be during his lunch break or immediately after work which I don't know how as he always checks in? Am I being naive? I guess when they want to cheat they always find a way. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Notice if it's always the same day of the week and then hire a private eye on that day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author curious_gal Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Fit Chick if it were only that easy. It's really random. The days are always different. He doesn't really go out with friends. Is always home with me after work and all weekend. It has to be during work and right after. Again, it's really random. Link to post Share on other sites
JesseJames Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Not necessarily. That would imply some deep kind of cheating relationship and planning. But one can cheat in a lot of lesser levels. One would be, say, making out with someone only to have a major pre-cum release. Perhaps the dude decided to try to kill the semen smell with some Yardley. I've never sprayed my underwear but then again I was never unfaithful in a relationship. (I did spray my genitals once with none other than Yardley cologne just for the hell of it and it hurt terribly like being slapped or kicked in the testes. OMG that was awful.) Ah I recall some young bitches working in a nursing home that would steal from old dudes and torture their freshly shaved balls with aftershave. I say stay away from guys that spray underwears because they ain't right. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Sparaying the cologne on underwear is something you would do before a date imo, and since it isn't happening for your benefit on special nights where you go out together and then make love, I'd be suspicious too, but it doesn't happen in any sort of pattern or coincide with him going out for a drink with a mate or working back late at work. Makes it hard for you to bolster your theory. You said he gets off from work 2 hours before you do. There's a window of opportunity there. I think you should ask him. You said the cologne had a strong smell so its not like you had to be hyper vigilant to detect the smell and notice its on his boxers. Don't mention that you have noticed it on a number of ocassions until after he has come up with his reason to account for it that day. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 I'm sorry. Can't help laughing at anyone who would spray their crotch with cologne, nevermind enough cologne for the entire laundry basket to reek of it. If my husband ever did this, I'd not only ask him but be crying from tears of laughter while asking him! "Honey, you are aware that not only does cologne taste like crap but no one wants to be giving a blowjob to someone who marinates in it." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Start worrying when he sprays it with Lysol. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Hi everyone – I’m new here and have a quick question. It may seem silly but here it is. I have been with my live in boyfriend forfour years now. He has done things inthe past to show me that he has cheated. At least an emotional. Not sureof physical. He said that it hasstopped. Anyway, I have major trustissues. Now yesterday I was sortingthrough laundry and the basket reeked of his cologne and I found that hisboxers smelled of his cologne in the crotch area so he sprayed them for somereason. Now I’ve smelled this here andthere, from time to time so he’s done it before but it’s random. Not every day What is the reasoning for this? I don’t want to be paranoid so I’m wonderingif this is something that guys just do from time to time? Or did he have a hot date and wanted to smellgood down there for her? Because he sureas hell doesn’t spray his boxers for me when it’s just us two. Does this mean he’s cheating? Any advice to help me think “rationally” here would be great. If you have to sniff and inspect dubious stains, it's safe to say you should have peace of mind and leave. You can't go on with these trust issues and they don't just go away. and he clearly isn't doing anything to quell those feelings for you. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I'm kinda of dirty tho.... Kinda dirty? Link to post Share on other sites
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