Feeling Comfortable with my Mid-Life Crisis..

[matt70]

I've been with my wife (my college girlfriend) for 12 years.

 

I'm a rock musician . . .but never been the kinda guy that had tattoos or crazy hair or crazy clothes. When My Wife met me I was in a Jazz & Blues phase, listening to a bunch of old blues and swing jazz. We'd go to jazz concerts and such. She was never into the heavier side of my music loves.

 

In my mid 30's i've been listening to more old punk rock and feeling the itch to get a few tattoos. I was never against them, just maybe scared of being judged or what my parents would think when I was younger. I've always been hip but never outrageous.

 

In the past when i've hinted about getting ink, my wife has told me "Naw, it's not YOU". She doesn't mind them but thinks they are a waste of money.

 

Sometimes when I listen to harder music and she hears it, she'll say "What happened to the softer jazz, don't you like that anymore?"

 

all in all, this makes me self concious about it. like I have i'm not allowed to change. it's my own self esteem problem.

 

Granted, I have always been a plain john, kindhearted and maybe a little shy. . .I don't feel that way anymore.

[Exit]

Have you tried to have a more in-depth conversation with her about it? Is she really that against you going in a new direction or is it just surprising her? No matter how long you're with someone, sometimes life just has to be about what you want. I wouldn't go getting any huge pieces of ink without talking to her about it but I don't think you should have to stop yourself either.

[matt70]

I havent talked to her in depth no, i've always just hinted or joked about it.

 

I just want a few simple designs, nothing radical or Huge.

 

I should talk with her further, I'm just reluctant because I don't know how I should present it and justify the spending of the money on it. I make all the money in the family but I still value and respect her opinion. BUT, if she loves and respects me, it should be o.k., right?

 

I just care too much. I'm a selfish person.