danielle_rae Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 OKay I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months now, and he says he loves me all the time and he cares about me, and when i ask him to come over and see me he does. I call him all the time. He calls sometimes, but alot of the time he isnt allowed to use the phone. BUt please I need some serious help. Im getting serious with him, like really in love and stuff, and he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and stuff, but how do u know if a guy really loves you? I dont knwo if he is just saying this or if he does love me, but not as much as I hope! Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 I'm just curious why he's not allowed to use the phone? Is he young living at home, or in a shared house? MY feeling is that if he is so young that he needs permission to use the phone, that you should probably relax a little and not worry about him being the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, you are probably both much too young to be worrying about things like that Just relax and be patient and see where things go over time Link to post Share on other sites
Author danielle_rae Posted June 19, 2004 Author Share Posted June 19, 2004 Well you see we are both in 10th grade, btu im totally serious about everything, and he says he is and does so many things to make me think so but i want to no for sure, i dont want to get hurt!!! Im scared Link to post Share on other sites
almostthere Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 I met my soon to be exhusband in 10th grade. I could have some words of wisdom for you. Before you go too far and start thinking about forever please think about it all. i loved my ex very very much the first few years we were together. and even tho we are divorcing and it was my decision a part of me will always love him. we got together when i was 15. married right after i graduated and have two wonderful kids together. 2 years ago i moved out. at 15 you are still growing inside. you are no where near the people you will be. in some ways yes but in most ways no. sometimes people grow together the older they get. and sometimes people grow apart. me and my ex turned out to be two different people after the years went by. i know you probably arent going to take a word of my advice to heart but i have to tell you that there is a whole world out there. excitement and oppertunites you dont even know of or cant imagine yet. i respect you for loving him so much...i wish i could get my innocent love for my husband back. but people change as they mature. unfortunately some dont mature. after i moved out i was 22 years old. alone. no friends anymore (marriage and kids take up all of your time) and with 2 kids (4 and 1 years old). it was hard at first. and scarier then i thought it would be. but over the years i have met some absolutely wonderful people and i enjoy being single and coming and going as often as i can. I couldnt have grown up the way i did without that relationship and i would have never learned so much about the world if i wouldnt have left it. the love that he has for you is probably very real. and in no way am i trying to say break up with him or miss out. my two most loving relationships were formed before i even could legally drive. if you two truly love each other then by all means sit back relax and enjoy it. you have 2 years before youll be out of school so theres not much you can do to fast forward it all. but just remember that if some day you do grow apart...its not the end of the world. life is only what you make of it. and so is love. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 Originally posted by danielle_rae Well you see we are both in 10th grade, btu im totally serious about everything, and he says he is and does so many things to make me think so but i want to no for sure, i dont want to get hurt!!! Im scared Of course you don't want to be hurt, but your fear is irrational. The way you deal with irrational fear is to rationalize it. The way humans were set up, you can never know for sure what someone else is thinking. You'll *never* know. Even when you're married, 80 years old, 18 children, and you take daily walks on the beach after cooking breakfast together--you can only think for yourself. Part of loving someone is making yourself vulnerable. That means you could get hurt. What it doesn't mean, however, is that you're wasting your time. Relationships need not be successful for you to learn something from them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danielle_rae Posted June 19, 2004 Author Share Posted June 19, 2004 Thankyou so much for all your help. I feel alot better, and really your forget that there is life after school, i mean for me its all abotu here and now, and if he doesnt really love me my life is over and ill never find love. But now i have realized just to enjoy it while it lasts Link to post Share on other sites
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