Tylanni Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Is polygamy a sexuality in the same way that a person can for example be homosexual. I have always felt sexually attracted to multiple people and find the idea of only ever having sex with the same person for the rest of my life depressing. Sometimes I feel that I am forced to conform with what society says is right and it doesn't feel natural, I feel trapped. A problem however is that I seek the warmth and closeness from relationships, not just sex. It feels like the only way that I can ethically be sexually free is if I give up the possibility of loving relationships. The alternative is that I am monogamous and block out my attractions to others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 (edited) Or you could find someone who is also polygamous and have a loving relationship with him or her, and sexual relationships with other people too. Regards monogamy, many people do find people outside their relationship sexually attractive, but they choose not to act on it. When you're on a diet, you can still look in the fridge. Sexual appetite is just like any other appetite: you can modify it and choose not to act on it. Monogamy has its advantages: people are complex, and intimate relationships can be very delicate things. Throwing two complex things together in a delicate arrangement is far more likely to succeed than three or more. And what do we gain from boning another person? It's essentially the same equipment and mechanics. I suspect that has more to do with the process of getting into bed with them than what actually goes on in bed. So if you can bring that affection, attraction, toying, playing, wooing into a stable relationship, you can quench that thirst with the person who you also love, like, trust and care about. Edited April 21, 2012 by betterdeal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Studies have found genetic variants that impact on behaviours where certain individuals aren't genetically inclined to pair bond (allele 334) or get such a rush from dopamine (dopamine receptor DRD4) that they find sexual pleasure with others, near irresistible. In both situations, these genetic indicators just predispose the individuals towards non-monogamy but don't guarantee non-monogamous behaviours. Wish more non-monogamous people would admit to their inclinations and leave monogamous people alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Studies have found genetic variants that impact on behaviours where certain individuals aren't genetically inclined to pair bond (allele 334) or get such a rush from dopamine (dopamine receptor DRD4) that they find sexual pleasure with others, near irresistible. In both situations, these genetic indicators just predispose the individuals towards non-monogamy but don't guarantee non-monogamous behaviours. Wish more non-monogamous people would admit to their inclinations and leave monogamous people alone. i wish this as well. but it's difficult when they live in a society that shuns any model of polygamy, polyamory, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 OP, welcome to LS Question: When you're feeling polyamorous and are with your partner, I presume the relationship is 'open' and they're free to explore polyamory with whomever they also find attractive. How do you feel about that? Are you happy for them? Feel more attracted and loving towards them? Like yourself, they are experiencing the full length and breadth of exploring the vast realm of human relationships. It's a good thing, right? A big part of having a healthy relationship is finding a compatible person and being a compatible person. It's not easy. The most fulfilling things in life never are. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Jadempk Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 This is a really interesting topic. I feel the opposite - monogamy is what I crave, and not just because society tells me it's appropriate. Growing up the idea of having sex with more than one person was exciting and watching that through porn was such a turn on. But then I fell in love and ever since then whenever I saw another person who was sexually appealing I admired them but it didn't turn me on. He was the only guy that made me hot. Well I will have to get over that aversion because he is now my ex but I think in the right relationship you may not need to act on certain urges as they may no longer exist? Or if you want a polygamous relationship you could try looking for one? Online might be the best bet to find it. I hope you find what makes you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts