HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 For those of you who don't know, I live in a very small town. In fact, it's so small that when I look out the window, I can see if my ex is home or not. She lives across the street from me. It's awful! Broke up 2 1/2 months ago. NC since 3rd of March. Anyway, there is a tiny pizzeria situated on my side of the street, across from the building she lives in. I had just come home from a friend's place, and thought I would pop in and see if the lady who owned the place (she's a mutual friend) wanted a smoke. As I was driving home, I saw that my ex's car was there but I didn't think anything of it. As I was walking down to the pizzeria, I thought to myself, "I hope M isn't in there." But I quickly dismissed that idea. What are the chances, right? Well, BAM! I walked in and there she was! All 5'8" of her, looking really good, too. Well, she had on more makeup than usual so she could've been a dog underneath it all, I don't know. I hope so. Anyway, there she was having a coffee with the pizzeria owner. The place is so tiny there was simply no escaping. I said hi to both of them and then proceeded to tell the friend about my day. As I saw that the ex was not going to escape, I sat my fat arse down and carried on as if nothing was wrong. I just laughed with the friend (maybe a bit too loudly) and then asked her if she wanted to have a smoke. Luckily for me, she said yes. I think I would've killed her had she said no or ordered a pizza I didn't want. At this, the ex said, "Well, I guess I'll go then." I was so relieved! I don't think I could've kept that up any longer, and I was not going to be the one to escape the situation first. The whole time I was talking to our friend, I could see my ex looking across at her with a look of "can you believe this s**t?" and a wry smile on her face. I was shaking so hard that I was afraid I was going to faint. As a matter of fact, I'm still shaking. This was the closest encounter we'd had since the BU. I asked my friend afterward if I looked crazy and she said I was very composed and handled myself really well. I hope she wasn't lying to me. OMG! This is awful! Thank God, I had on my really nice new clothes and looked actually quite good myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 As I was driving home, I saw that my ex's car was there but I didn't think anything of it. As I was walking down to the pizzeria, I thought to myself, "I hope M isn't in there." But I quickly dismissed that idea. What are the chances, right? You can lie to us about "accidentally" bumping into your Ex.. but dude, seriously, why bother lying to yourself ? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 You look lovely from where I'm sitting.... Well done, you!! I think she must have been shocked at how little you seemed to care, or how composed you were.... that's fantastic.....!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 You can lie to us about "accidentally" bumping into your Ex.. but dude, seriously, why bother lying to yourself ? Huh? You obviously don't know my situation. The town we live in is so small I once bumped into her 4 times in a week. Also, there is no way I could've known she was in there. The windows are all taped up. Why would I lie? What would be the point? Link to post Share on other sites
mephisto Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Actually, I believe him or the least would have done the same thing as he did. We all humans...but dont do it again!!! You can lie to us about "accidentally" bumping into your Ex.. but dude, seriously, why bother lying to yourself ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 You look lovely from where I'm sitting.... Well done, you!! I think she must have been shocked at how little you seemed to care, or how composed you were.... that's fantastic.....!! Thank you! Yeah, I just walked in there and said hi to them both. It was tough but I did it! Well, if she knows me at all she would've known it was all a show, but I don't think she knows me at all, because if she did, she never would've left me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Actually, I believe him or the least would have done the same thing as he did. We all humans...but dont do it again!!! Thank you. I'm a 'she' actually. Link to post Share on other sites
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Wow, but you knew it had to happen sooner or later right? Sounds like you handled it well and the shaking is normal I am sure. The things we fear are never as bad as we make them out in our own heads. Hey I should take my own advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Wow, but you knew it had to happen sooner or later right? Sounds like you handled it well and the shaking is normal I am sure. The things we fear are never as bad as we make them out in our own heads. Hey I should take my own advice. Well, I don't know if I knew it had to happen sooner or later or not. I knew I would see her around town but didn't think I would actually run into her that way. It was a no escape sort of situation. That place is just so small! When I walked in she had her back to me but since the friend's eyes shifted from her to me, she turned around instantly and saw me. Just glad I kept my composure and didn't stumble back out. No, the things we fear are never as bad...they're worse! Now I can't stop looking out the window to see if she's home or not! And I had just come back from a reconnective healing session, whereby you reconnect with God or whatever source you believe in. My friend who performed the healing told me that things had shifted and basically weird s**t might start happening. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 HollyBolly, do me a favour my darling..... don't give that kind of advice too much thought. No disrespect intended, but sometimes things like that create a subconscious suggestion and we make things happen.. Calm yourself honey.... Relax and focus on you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 HollyBolly, do me a favour my darling..... don't give that kind of advice too much thought. No disrespect intended, but sometimes things like that create a subconscious suggestion and we make things happen.. Calm yourself honey.... Relax and focus on you.... Thank you, sweetie. No, I am not taking it too seriously. What I did do was call my friend up and curse her out. Made me feel a bit better. I am running a bath so, hopefully, that will help. Please help me not look out that punishing window! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 OMG! Just had a thought. Did I break NC by saying 'hi'? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Sweetie, you had no choice! If you hadn't, you would have come across as resentful, churlish, and clearly sooo not over it - you faked it beautifully. Have a great bath - and look out of the damn window if you want to - it's what people do with windows! gotta go - i have a report/assessment to write.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Sweetie, you had no choice! If you hadn't, you would have come across as resentful, churlish, and clearly sooo not over it - you faked it beautifully. Thank you again! I hope she feels 10x as bad as I. She was clearly shaken up. Hah! Have a great bath - and look out of the damn window if you want to - it's what people do with windows! LOL The window has blinds over it. If I don't want to look, I actually don't have to. Oh, that cursed, purgatorial window! gotta go - i have a report/assessment to write.... Yeah, you'd better get on that. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Holly, I remember bumping into my ex at CVS. It was a week after the breakup (I caught him boinking another women in his driveway New Years night) and I had the flu, looked a mess and he was in there looking like he stepped out of a magazine. I remember the awkward hi and hiding in the vitamin aisle feeling like my knees were going to buckle, sobbing and feeling like I was about vomit. You handled it well! Ex lives down the street too and it's been more than a year and pass without feeling a thing. You'll get there. I look at that freaking driveway now and just...smile. Emotional freedom is great. You will get there too! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Holly, I remember bumping into my ex at CVS. It was a week after the breakup (I caught him boinking another women in his driveway New Years night) and I had the flu, looked a mess and he was in there looking like he stepped out of a magazine. I remember the awkward hi and hiding in the vitamin aisle feeling like my knees were going to buckle, sobbing and feeling like I was about vomit. You handled it well! Ex lives down the street too and it's been more than a year and pass without feeling a thing. You'll get there. I look at that freaking driveway now and just...smile. Emotional freedom is great. You will get there too! Thank you for your encouraging words, Gee. To be honest with you, I don't think I would've walked into the pizzeria if I looked like a bag of s**t. Reason being there might have been a chance she would be there. And she was! SO glad I looked good and did not faint. Fainting would've been very embarrassing + just plain not good. Sorry to hear you had to go through the experience of catching him bonking another woman. That must've been hell. Glad you got 'there' and I know I will, too. However, I am moving next month. Good riddance! Onward to better and brighter things! Moving down to The Beach with my beautiful dog. OMG, I love him! Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 (edited) Thank you for your encouraging words, Gee. To be honest with you, I don't think I would've walked into the pizzeria if I looked like a bag of s**t. Reason being there might have been a chance she would be there. And she was! SO glad I looked good and did not faint. Fainting would've been very embarrassing + just plain not good. Sorry to hear you had to go through the experience of catching him bonking another woman. That must've been hell. Glad you got 'there' and I know I will, too. However, I am moving next month. Good riddance! Onward to better and brighter things! Moving down to The Beach with my beautiful dog. OMG, I love him! Looking good when you bump into the ex will definitely boost the ego! Mom always said never leave home without putting on your best! Ex once saw me looking like death but last X'mas I bumped into him and his gf while I was in my little black dress, 4 inch knee high boots, all 6 feet of me feeling just absolutely fabulous! All he did was stutter. Ah, felt so good to strut! Yes, it was a very dark time for me. I couldn't pick myself up for months. I would never wish that on anyone but I am now in a much better place and I know, for certain that you will too. That's great you are moving! New surroundings. New people. New opportunities. You're creating a new path, opening new doors, and you're going to find your emotional freedom much sooner as you start to distract and involve yourself in your new journey! Exciting times ahead! Edited April 21, 2012 by geegirl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 I felt the same way (taken aback) when I ran into my most recent ex. We passed by each other on campus (I have no idea what he was doing there since he moved 5 hours north after we broke up). It was a fleeting encounter but the impact on me emotionally lasted for a good week. In hindsight, I wish I wouldn't have wasted a week dwelling on the past. But then again, when we run into our exes, I think it triggers the past so then it has to be a natural reaction to think about the r/s that was. Give yourself credit for being put together when you bumped into her. Now exhale. Tomorrow is another day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Looking good when you bump into the ex will definitely boost the ego! Mom always said never leave home without putting on your best! Ex once saw me looking like death but last X'mas I bumped into him and his gf while I was in my little black dress, 4 inch knee high boots, all 6 feet of me feeling just absolutely fabulous! All he did was stutter. Ah, felt so good to strut! Good for you, hon! My ex would've been 6 feet if she had 4" pumps on, too, but that wouldn't have fazed me one bit. My presence is way taller than that. He stuttered? LOL Mine couldn't even speak! Yes, it was a very dark time for me. I couldn't pick myself up for months. I would never wish that on anyone but I am now in a much better place and I know, for certain that you will too. So glad to hear that you're feeling better. No, I wouldn't wish that on anyone either. That's just too awful. That's great you are moving! New surroundings. New people. New opportunities. You're creating a new path, opening new doors, and you're going to find your emotional freedom much sooner as you start to distract and involve yourself in your new journey! Exciting times ahead! Thanks! The area I'm moving to is very dog oriented so I'm sure I will meet a lot of new people, make new friends and move on much more quickly. It will also be good for the love of my life, Kublai. Yes, exciting times are ahead. Moving in 10 days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 I felt the same way (taken aback) when I ran into my most recent ex. We passed by each other on campus (I have no idea what he was doing there since he moved 5 hours north after we broke up). It was a fleeting encounter but the impact on me emotionally lasted for a good week. In hindsight, I wish I wouldn't have wasted a week dwelling on the past. But then again, when we run into our exes, I think it triggers the past so then it has to be a natural reaction to think about the r/s that was. I don't know if I was so much taken aback as I was just...I don't know...kind of expecting it but still taken aback, you know? I walked in there, saw her, and just...survived, I guess. My survival instinct kicked in, maybe, and I just acted like I was the happiest person in the world. Whether she was buying it or not didn't even matter. It was weird. Give yourself credit for being put together when you bumped into her. Now exhale. Tomorrow is another day. Thank you. I can exhale now? Thank Christ! Tomorrow is another day, yes. However, tomorrow can be another day on which I run into her again. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 My survival instinct kicked in, maybe, and I just acted like I was the happiest person in the world. Whether she was buying it or not didn't even matter. It was weird. ( Your survival instinct is important. Plus it's good to put on a happy face because after a while, the more time passes, that smile will appear naturally and eventually you won't feel a strong emotional reaction when you encounter your ex. Don't worry. Be Happy Now. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 OMG! Just had a thought. Did I break NC by saying 'hi'? LMAO!!! Hmmm...I think you can be forgiven on that one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Your survival instinct is important. Plus it's good to put on a happy face because after a while, the more time passes, that smile will appear naturally and eventually you won't feel a strong emotional reaction when you encounter your ex. Don't worry. Be Happy Now. Yes, I was a jungle cat. It wasn't just survival instinct but also a predatory one, too. Not only did I know I had to stay there and wait it out, but I also knew I had to hijack the situation, which I did. LOL Friend from pizza joint is coming over for a movie soon. Should be interesting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 LMAO!!! Hmmm...I think you can be forgiven on that one. Glad that made you laugh. Isn't it interesting how we think the stupidest things when we're under duress? And thank you for the forgiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HollyBolly Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 Just had another stupid thought. And also just want to be prepared. If she contacts me, do I reply now that I have said 'hi'? There I was, pretending it didn't bother me and then I turn around and ignore her if she contacts me? Would look fu*ked up, no? I know this is premature but I just want to be prepared. Thx. Link to post Share on other sites
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