incognito2 Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 My boyfriend of 10 months and I have been having a bit of a problem lately. We are very different people... I love him a lot, and hope that one day we can move in together. But the other day we were both in bad moods and he said to me "How could we ever live together and agree on making decisions when we're so different?" We are both quite stubborn people, very reluctant to change our minds. It seems we have different beliefs and likes in a lot of things. If a couple are very different from each other, can it work? It has so far, but this issue has come up a few times. Especially lately. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 different how? Regarding what? Some differences are hard to overcome - like choosing a common lifestyle, or goals... others aren't. As long as there is love and understanding, and you and your partner are willing to support each other, it can work. No one and nothing can comebetween two people that want with all their heart to be together. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 No one and nothing can comebetween two people that want with all their heart to be together. Bigtime romantic myth perpetrated by popular culture. You show me a couple like that. Now, if you want to talk about real life, yes, plenty can come between people; especially We are both quite stubborn people, very reluctant to change our minds. What that comes down to, basically, is that you prefer being right to the happiness of the person you love. There are very few issues worth alienating the affections of someone you care about over, but stubborn people do it all the time. Your relationship will only work if BOTH of you master the art of negotiation and building win-win solutions. Note I do NOT say 'compromise' because for 'compromise', someone often 'loses'. The best solution is when each of you gets at least some of what you want. No amount of love can overcome two people being stubborn because that sort of thing kills love very effectively. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 No amount of love can overcome two people being stubborn because that sort of thing kills love very effectively Love has little to do with being selfish.When inlove, one is oriented towards the other person, not towards themselves, their needs or wishes. Even if the actual feeling of love fades away, the strong wish or determination to remain together as a couple willhelp the two in overoming the difficulties,wheather coming from inside the couple or from outside it. My teacher in MArketing Research told us in an attempt to characterize consumer behaviour, the they are in quest of variety, novelty, little implication from their point of view, constent stimulation and nonetheless, for the action to last little in time. This is why I think that not lack of love kills couples (love,not lust), but lack of commitment, of devotion towards the other. LAck of accepting responsabilities, fear of loving with all your heart, definately incompatible to the typical consumeristic behaviour induced by the society. Link to post Share on other sites
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