25 year old virgin

[anasparks]

Is it 'normal' to be a 25 (almost 26 year old) virgin? Or am I just a big ol' freak show?

[betterdeal]

I think it's actually more common than many think it is. Does it bother you?

[NateC]

Is it 'normal' to be a 25 (almost 26 year old) virgin? Or am I just a big ol' freak show?

 

I'm 21 and haven't even had my first kiss yet...so yes, it's normal and happens much more than you think it does.

[LoveTKO]

Hmmmm....it's obviously bothering you or else you wouldn't post it on a forum. Are you a shy person, or are you picky? Tell us more about yourself. Do you go out on dates? By the time I was 25 I already slept with about 40 women; the college years from the age of 18 to 22 were off the hook crazy!

[NateC]

Hmmmm....it's obviously bothering you or else you wouldn't post it on a forum. Are you a shy person, or are you picky? Tell us more about yourself. Do you go out on dates? By the time I was 25 I already slept with about 40 women; the college years from the age of 18 to 22 were off the hook crazy!

 

Oh college...I'm just ending that phase. Everyone goes through that differently.

[BurningDream]

Virginity is not that big of a deal...you'll realize that when you loose it. Its not abnormal for a lot of people to be a virgin, 25 is not old anyway.

 

Do you have a hard time with dating? How is your self esteem? Were you religiously repressed sexually? Are you shy? Do you feel he has to be just right and you haven't found him yet? Open up and we can help.

[Jadempk]

There is nothing wrong with that, sex means different things to different people. I'm 22 and have only had sex with one other person. We have just split up and since he is a guy (lol) I bet he is going to start gearing up to increase his number, I don't really care. Once you have had one, you have had them all right?

I wouldn't worry too much, the best thing about sex is not just the sex but the intimacy you share with another person. I think you should feel 100% comfortable before you can do it.

[firehawk_1]

this day and age im not surprised to be honest. its not your fault, its the fact that women or men are far too picky and fussy on who they want to sleep with and are very unrealistic, play games and you are left out to dry. Then when you get close to a woman, you tell them you are a virgin and they laugh. not a good feeling

[NateC]

this day and age im not surprised to be honest. its not your fault, its the fact that women or men are far too picky and fussy on who they want to sleep with and are very unrealistic, play games and you are left out to dry. Then when you get close to a woman, you tell them you are a virgin and they laugh. not a good feeling

 

If they laugh then the sex that might have resulted is not for the intimacy.

 

To me, I don't really care because I want it to be with the right person...someone who I might be able to spend my life with. It may seem unrealistic for the "first time love", but it's very possible given enough patience. I still admire my grandparents for being together for over 40 years and they were first loves.

[AKollegeGuy]

I think I know what this guy is going through, I'm in the same boat myself and posted here asking for help, got some good advice and not so good advice. But I know that being a male virgin can be very humiliating.

 

First off, it is theorized that men value themselves based upon sexual encounters. You know, the whole 'player' mentality. Not all men are sex crazed hounds like Stifler from American Pie, but having a woman consensually make love with you can greatly boost a man's ego because in the man's mind, a woman agreeing to have sex with you means they see you as a worthy mate and attractive. When you get stuck in the 'friendzone' in our mind it means the woman does not find you sexually attractive or worthy of her intimacy. Basically a rejection.

 

Second, and this is based upon speculation, celibate men have a higher chance of getting a sexual dysfunction than non-celibate men during their mid-twenties.

 

Third, men who are involuntary celibates are known to be more depressed, frustrated, stressed, bitter, and devolp misogynistic attitudes than sexual active men.

 

Fourth, our society, Western society, all but shoves sex and sexuality in our faces. Even television, music, and movies have gotten more liberal in terms of sexual content, some might say sleazy. To virgins, or at least to me, this is the world saying that sex is a part of life and if your not experiencing it, you're not living. Something must be wrong with you.

 

Finally, involuntary celibate men do have sex drives, but an inablility to satisfy them can cause emotional despair.

 

Being a virgin, for me, is not just depressing, its actually made me consider suicide because for some men, never having a spouse or a lover in your life means you failed somehow. Having a girl love you and make love to you means more to me than any job or college degree.

 

Again, my opinion, I don't know if the OP has the same feelings.

[Teshe]

No you're fine. I'm almost 20 and still a virgin. The farthest I've ever gone is make out with ONE guy and I regret it now honestly.

Edit:

Wait until you're ready...I have the same dreams you do.so I understand the frustration.

Edited April 25, 2012 by Teshe

[Ross MwcFan]

No you're fine. I'm almost 20 and still a virgin. The farthest I've ever gone is make out with ONE guy and I regret it now honestly.

Edit:

Wait until you're ready...I have the same dreams you do.so I understand the frustration.

 

Why do you regret making out with a guy?

 

It's fun, it's what you should be doing at your age.

[whatitdoes1]

if it makes you feel *any* better I'm a 24 year old virgin. I have kissed 1 girl. As a male, my friend consistently use it as a tool for their own enjoyment. Even all of my fat friends

 

It's been a huge problem for me in this sexually dominated society. I work for a large record company and I'm always going to different events and parties and I get opportunities to say the least but I can never go through with it. In my work life I can put on a normal face but deep down I have serious self esteem issues that I've just accepted.

 

It was a bit embarrassing when some co workers found out that I was a virgin. Two of them are women and since then they treat me like a little boy almost. I don't think they understand how much it bothers me.

 

As a child I went to a private school. My family was extremely poor and everyone else was rich. I used to get made fun of for being so poor even by the faculty. I think this permanently scarred my brain. I remember opting to talk home (2 hour walk) just so my classmates wouldn't see my mothers car (quite old and a source of enjoyment for them it seemed).

 

There is usually a reason for being a virgin this "late" / early in life. For me its completely self esteem. No woman/man is going to want an individual who just doesn't seem confident. Thank goodness I can at least fake it at my job. My job requires a very out going person. I do marketing for a large record label in the US.

 

Anyways, best of luck to you, as a female you don't have anywhere near the pressure as a man. As I said, if I even tell a woman, they look down upon me. When / if I do loose my virginity, I won't tell her. It would only create a bad perception of the person and make them look weak in this jersey shore culture

 

Humans can be so mean!

[irin]

im 21 year old virgin, no worries. its not a big deal. i hope im still a virgin at 25 the last thing i want is to lose it to wrong guy!

[ohmygoshistalk]

i prefer virgins tbh. i was dubbed "the countess" back then.

im sure a lot of men feel the same way if they want you for an LTR..

 

otherwise its kind of hard to be w/ a virgin female, expectations and stuff. as another person in LS said..its hard to break in a new vehicle u prefer used ones instead.

[John Gotti]

I'm a 23 year-old virgin and used to let it bother me. Then I realized that life was just too short to worry about what other people think of you. Live your life doing what makes you the happiest. For some people it's waiting until they find "the one" or just accepting being alone. For others, it's acting like a total slut and going through partners like a chain smoker goes through their cigarettes. There are plenty of people on both sides of the spectrum that are happy in their own way.

 

I think I know what this guy is going through, I'm in the same boat myself and posted here asking for help, got some good advice and not so good advice. But I know that being a male virgin can be very humiliating.

 

First off, it is theorized that men value themselves based upon sexual encounters. You know, the whole 'player' mentality. Not all men are sex crazed hounds like Stifler from American Pie, but having a woman consensually make love with you can greatly boost a man's ego because in the man's mind, a woman agreeing to have sex with you means they see you as a worthy mate and attractive. When you get stuck in the 'friendzone' in our mind it means the woman does not find you sexually attractive or worthy of her intimacy. Basically a rejection.

 

Second, and this is based upon speculation, celibate men have a higher chance of getting a sexual dysfunction than non-celibate men during their mid-twenties.

 

Third, men who are involuntary celibates are known to be more depressed, frustrated, stressed, bitter, and devolp misogynistic attitudes than sexual active men.

 

Fourth, our society, Western society, all but shoves sex and sexuality in our faces. Even television, music, and movies have gotten more liberal in terms of sexual content, some might say sleazy. To virgins, or at least to me, this is the world saying that sex is a part of life and if your not experiencing it, you're not living. Something must be wrong with you.

 

Finally, involuntary celibate men do have sex drives, but an inablility to satisfy them can cause emotional despair.

 

Being a virgin, for me, is not just depressing, its actually made me consider suicide because for some men, never having a spouse or a lover in your life means you failed somehow. Having a girl love you and make love to you means more to me than any job or college degree.

 

Again, my opinion, I don't know if the OP has the same feelings.

 

You actually sound exactly like I did a year ago. I'm willing to guess you are in some research field and work for a University based on the way you structure your posts and how you present your delineated opinions. I may still be a virgin, but I've come a long way in a few months and am actually viewed as an attractive potential partner on the surface and stand as good of a chance as ever to finally lose it. The key transformation on my part was refusing to care what other people thought of me. It seems you struggle from the same problem, and it's extremely difficult to generate any confidence when you are constantly worrying about judgment being passed down from the person you're talking to. Granted, changing your mindset like that isn't an easy task, but you're quality of life will improve dramatically. And ultimately, you're quality of life is a direct reflection of how you value yourself. You're obviously a smart person... embrace that characteristic. Take pride in the fact you are smarter than most of the general populous. Doing that will help you develop that all important trait women pretty much require if you want something to happen with them: Confidence.

 

It was a bit embarrassing when some co workers found out that I was a virgin. Two of them are women and since then they treat me like a little boy almost. I don't think they understand how much it bothers me.

 

Not cool. I used to be picked on similarly when I opened up and admitted it. The last time that happened, I just responded by saying I'd rather be a virgin than a used-up slut. It's a win-win situation. If the girl is uncaring enough to make fun of you, then have the balls throw it right back in her face. It's like having a 90 ton weight lifted off of your chest. And again... helps your own confidence.

[whatitdoes1]

Well the bad thing was I thought I was going to almost loose my job over it. One of the co workers told my boss and he's also made a case of it. The only good thing is that I'm quite confident in my work and I always do as expected and quite more. Working for a record company is quite hard because half the people you see today could be gone tomorrow, and that goes for many big artist as well.

 

In this society to males and females, virgins are weak. There is just no way around it. This girl liked me once, and a friend told her I was a virgin and again she wasn't amused. She told me straight up that I must have "problems"

 

The sad thing is, as "mean" as it sounds and hurtful as it can be, they are probably correct. There is a reason why the situation is as so. At my job there is always models coming in for different reasons and all kinds of stuff, its not like I work in a steel mill.

 

At the end of the day, I'm a very shy person outside of work and I've just accepted it. I think its genetic and thats just 'how it is'. Some people are better at certain things, I feel the most comfortable when its just me around or very few people. I'm not any sort of weird corner freak but I don't talk in big situations etc etc.

 

No female really wants the "quiet" guy or the non outgoing guy, we are judged by our extroverted qualities. Of course being an introvert is "completely" ok but yet even the word sounds bad. Again I just like to be alone and in my own space. I spend probably 2-3 hours a day in the gym after work. Many people say I have a great body and you know "girls love that man" etc etc but I do it for myself no one else. I do it because I like the way it looks and feels.

 

People ask me all the time when I will loose my virginity etc, I say maybe tomorrow maybe never.

 

I learned to stop worrying about it as it does not have to define you.

[whatitdoes1]

Also people look at me sometimes like I'm "really" missing something. Who is to say though? It's not like I even know what I'm missing.

 

Just one less thing to worry about. I just wish societies stigmas wasn't quite the other way.

[AKollegeGuy]

You actually sound exactly like I did a year ago. I'm willing to guess you are in some research field and work for a University based on the way you structure your posts and how you present your delineated opinions. I may still be a virgin, but I've come a long way in a few months and am actually viewed as an attractive potential partner on the surface and stand as good of a chance as ever to finally lose it. The key transformation on my part was refusing to care what other people thought of me. It seems you struggle from the same problem, and it's extremely difficult to generate any confidence when you are constantly worrying about judgment being passed down from the person you're talking to. Granted, changing your mindset like that isn't an easy task, but you're quality of life will improve dramatically. And ultimately, you're quality of life is a direct reflection of how you value yourself. You're obviously a smart person... embrace that characteristic. Take pride in the fact you are smarter than most of the general populous. Doing that will help you develop that all important trait women pretty much require if you want something to happen with them: Confidence.

 

I just graduated college with a master's and have been seeking aid in my social problems. I don't consider myself that intelligent (I'm far from a rocket scientist) and to be honest, I truly don't care. everything I accomplished in college almost means nothing to me because I'm still alone and socially inept. I'm trying to get better, but at it's worst, it seems so pointless to try. Thankfully I have friends who help so never underestimate the power of a close friend.

[whatitdoes1]

Close friends can become mortal enemies overnight. Before you know it they know you better than yourself and then when you stop being friends they have a whole bag of information to spread.

 

I of course have friends and quite a few but I would never tell any of them half the stuff I used to.

 

Also I would see if your socially inept or just introverted? As you feel more comfortable in your own space. I'm not socially introverted, I can talk to people all day just fine. Just in certain situations I prefer to be by myself.

 

This has been studied quite a bit and there is a genetic component. Some people brains react differently to other situations. Bad experience as a child just make it so much worse.

 

but usually when someone is "quiet" etc etc, there is a genetic component. Just as when someone is loud and crazy. All of this can be controlled of course though.

[favoritepills]

Don't worry about it. I'd never been kissed until I met my first boyfriend at 21.

 

Unfortunately, peers can be mean about such a silly thing as whether or not you've had sex, so I chose not to talk about it to anyone. When pressed, I lied about it. I wasn't ashamed of being a virgin, I just didn't want to put up with that kind of peer pressure.

 

It helped that I was secure in myself and totally fine with being single. I would recommend that you do things that make you feel good about yourself, have fun, and let everything fall into place. The right girl/guy won't be some jerk who would think less of you for being a virgin.

[tykira]

Is it 'normal' to be a 25 (almost 26 year old) virgin? Or am I just a big ol' freak show?

 

I'm 24 and I'm a virgin! The thing is I'm waiting for the right person to show up and get married one day.

[KR10N]

Why are virgins considered 'freaks'? I'm quite happy as a virgin.

[Els]

*shrug* My opinion is that you're better off being a virgin than just sleeping around with random people who mean nothing to you. Life isn't a race. Take your time.

[somedude81]

Why are virgins considered 'freaks'? I'm quite happy as a virgin.

It's more of a freak thing, if the person is a male older than 22. At that age, it's pretty much assumed that any guy is able to get a GF or find somebody to have sex with, and if he can't, then he's a loser.

 

As for women, they are just always weird and I have no idea what's the norm for them.