What should I do

[So confused]

I dont know what to do, or if i decided to how to do it !!

 

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years and bascially he is neglecting me, and I now know that the relationship is not going where I want it to.

 

When I ask him to sit and talk about it he doesnt want to - there is nothing to talk about, he thinks things are fine the way they are. I don't!

 

I hardly see him. He doesnt want to come to my house - he doesnt feel comfortable with my parents, Im not allowed to go to his house (his aunty doesn't like me - Im not their religion), he would rather go out and get drunk with the boys than spend time with me!

 

He has now decided that he probably cant marry me because I was not a virgin when I met him, but he says that he loves me - and I am his everything.

 

I am confused. I cry most nights - and I know that this is not the way to live life. BUT how do you break up with someone that you really really love, but I know that there is no way that this can work out !!!

[Tony T]

You need to break up with him for that reason, because you love him.

 

He won't come to your house, you can't go to his, he doesn't like to talk about problems or resolve them, you hardly ever see him, he doesn't like your parents, his aunty doesn't like you, he would rather go out with his friends and get drunk than be with you, he can't marry you because you weren't a virgin when he met you, BUT he thinks things are fine and you are his everything.

 

That is such a romance story I want to cry. It is the most touching and tender relationship, I am just so sorry more people don't get the chance to experience this. (You know I am being sarcastic I hope)

 

There is NOTHING AT ALL wrong with your guy. But there is A WHOLE LOT seriously wrong with you if you don't get away from him by 8 p.m. tomorrow. He is NOT WORTH SPENDING ANOTHER MINUTE WITH. This is the sorriest, sickest, most rotten to the core relationship I have ever heard described in this forum. I know rattlesnakes you would be more compatible with.

 

If you are unable to break up with him, seek counselling immediately, Being with him has put your self worth and self esteem to ZERO. You would be better off marrying a colony of staphylococus bacteria, and they don't care what religion you are!!!

[so confused]

Tony,

 

I know that I should break up with him. I know that he is a pig and a jerk, I know he is not worth my spit if he was on fire on the street, but HOW do I go about breaking up with him???

 

HOW do I do it ?????

 

I still do love him, even if your post made me cry !!!

[Tony T]

Love has got NOTHING to do with it...NOTHING at all. But if you want to talk about love, YOU BETTER START LOVING YOURSELF A LOT MORE!!!

 

I wouldn't even give him the courtesy of breaking up in person. He is not worth it. Call him up, tell him you don't want to ever see him again. Now that sounds like the end of the world to you. It means you will never be with the sleezebag again and that bothers you a lot. Sure, there will be some pain...but NOT NEARLY THE PAIN YOU STAND TO SUFFER THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU STAY WITH HIM.

 

I hope you will still get counselling. The fact that you would even have an ounce of problems leaving a guy who is so cruel to you is not normal for a person of average self esteem. If you got bitten by a poisonous snake, would you put off calling for emergency assistance?

 

If you can't bring yourself to break up with him, see a counsellor. You don't seem to understand just how precious liFe is. Every day you live is a day you will never get again. Being in this relationship (???) is taking very previous days away from your life. That in itself ought to really make you very mad, at him and at yourself.

 

I'm truly sorry, but nobody on this forum can motivate you to do something you are fearful of doing. You are going to have to get in person help for that. But please get some help TODAY!!!