Which is the right way to feel??

[cherries1]

The title of the post doesn't make much sense now, I moved what I posted here but I have another question.

 

What I really want to ask here is, how do you make friends with people who already formed a group at college? I want to become more easygoing and fun, I'm kind of shy but I can really get over that. I just have self esteem issues sometimes even though I've been told I'm pretty. I want to be a part of this big group of people in my class and I began by inviting some of the girls in that group out, just to get to know some of them. How can I slowly climb my way into their group? Should I suggest that they give me a call or something? Is it desperate?

Edited April 22, 2012 by cherries1
Going to post what was here in dating, makes much more sense

[BlueDog]

Hmm, what are the members of this group into? Do some of them play a sport together, are they into drama or music maybe, is there a specific place they hang out? In college one of the best ways to get to hang out with people is to get involved in the same extracurricular activities and clubs. Make sure you attend college events and chat to people while you're there.

[cherries1]

Hmm, what are the members of this group into? Do some of them play a sport together, are they into drama or music maybe, is there a specific place they hang out? In college one of the best ways to get to hang out with people is to get involved in the same extracurricular activities and clubs. Make sure you attend college events and chat to people while you're there.

 

Nope we don't have activities. It's just most of them in the same groups because of surnames (our class is divided by alphabetical order for some classes) but lately I sit near them and sometimes make small talk.

[NateC]

It takes time, but the more presence you have in the group the more you'll be noticed. What you're doing now is the best way.

[Vizier]

In this situation, I would advise you to determine who the leader or the leaders of the group is. Then find a chance or create a chance to get to know this person or people. Once you strike up a friendship with them, it will make it easier for you to get into the group rather than just working your way up from the ground or trying to cross barriers that are too hard to cross.

 

The key here is to try to find out more about this person first. This way you will make less mistakes when you approach them under some pretext. And make sure that you are calm and composed when you go about it. Being nervous won't help you case so it helps to be prepared.

[cherries1]

In this situation, I would advise you to determine who the leader or the leaders of the group is. Then find a chance or create a chance to get to know this person or people. Once you strike up a friendship with them, it will make it easier for you to get into the group rather than just working your way up from the ground or trying to cross barriers that are too hard to cross.

 

The key here is to try to find out more about this person first. This way you will make less mistakes when you approach them under some pretext. And make sure that you are calm and composed when you go about it. Being nervous won't help you case so it helps to be prepared.

 

There aren't any actual leaders, I usually notice who the leader in a group is but in this case it's just a bunch of pretty cool people, sometimes they hang in small groups and occasionally throw a big meeting or party with all the partial groups. Seems easy.

 

I've been making a little progress with one of the girls, and a bit bit bit of progress with another. And small talk with more of them. Slowly!

[quankanne]

hey Tex! Welcome to the 'Shack!

 

you're going about it the right way, getting to know these gals by chatting with them. Maybe the next step in starting to hang out with them is to notice what kinds of things draw their interest that also interest you ... like catching the flicks that are shown on campus or a sporting/intramural event. You know, just put out a general invite and sow the seeds of frienship. You'd be amazed at what you'll find that you have in common with them, and how, because they know you're interested, they'll start including you.

 

other thought is what I've told my godchildren: If you want to find an interesting group of folks to hang with and develop strong relationships with, work or volunteer with your campus newspaper. Okay, so budding journalists are a nerdy group, but very fun, but I'm biased Seriously, though, there's always someone needed to help distribute papers, proofread/edit pages before they're sent to the printer, etc, so even if you don't write, you can still be a part.

 

same goes for other groups that you might find interesting: See if there's a way to get involved, even by volunteering. You'll find a group of like-minded people who are potential friend fodder, and you start networking from there.

 

mostly, though, just have fun with your college career; even though you are shy, you've got a lot to offer to potential friends!

[cherries1]

hey Tex! Welcome to the 'Shack!

 

you're going about it the right way, getting to know these gals by chatting with them. Maybe the next step in starting to hang out with them is to notice what kinds of things draw their interest that also interest you ... like catching the flicks that are shown on campus or a sporting/intramural event. You know, just put out a general invite and sow the seeds of frienship. You'd be amazed at what you'll find that you have in common with them, and how, because they know you're interested, they'll start including you.

 

other thought is what I've told my godchildren: If you want to find an interesting group of folks to hang with and develop strong relationships with, work or volunteer with your campus newspaper. Okay, so budding journalists are a nerdy group, but very fun, but I'm biased Seriously, though, there's always someone needed to help distribute papers, proofread/edit pages before they're sent to the printer, etc, so even if you don't write, you can still be a part.

 

same goes for other groups that you might find interesting: See if there's a way to get involved, even by volunteering. You'll find a group of like-minded people who are potential friend fodder, and you start networking from there.

 

mostly, though, just have fun with your college career; even though you are shy, you've got a lot to offer to potential friends!

 

Thanks for your answer!

 

Well I did join some group of volunteering, so I'm working in there, too It's really a good idea, and it turned out that some of the girls I want to befriend joined, too, so there's a chance we'll go on a volunteer trip together sometime, perfect for more bonding!