lifeasiknowit Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 Hello all, I am in a new relationship with a great guy. We are in the honeymoon phase and are really enamored with each other. It's been two months, and we do many things together, and plan on taking a vacation together in a couple of months. He's talked about me to his family (his family lives in another city) and friends, and he's met some of my friends. I'm a little bit worried though, that I have yet to be introduced to any of his friends. I know men are more likely to compartmentalize their lives, but I want to know when should I expect him to introduce me to his friends (either at a social gathering or when he goes out with them). There have been a few times where we've been together for a day and he has to leave to go meet some friends, and does not invite me along. Perhaps it's because he just wants to connect with them on his own. It's reasonable for him to have a separate life, but I do think it's important that I eventually met at least some of his friends. When should it become an issue? It's only been two months. Also, he knows that I'm the shy type, so maybe he doesn't want me to feel awkward. Should I be worried about him not asking me to meet his friends, or should I wait for some time to pass before I let it be an issue? Any advice would be much appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifeasiknowit Posted April 23, 2012 Author Share Posted April 23, 2012 again, any advice would be really helpful for me! Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 I think it's important to meet his friends - so ask to be introduced. Though you're in the honeymoon phase now (and it's great that you can recognize that), you still need to gather information about him to see if he's the right one for you. Meeting his friends is a good gage of what type of person he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifeasiknowit Posted April 23, 2012 Author Share Posted April 23, 2012 I think it's important to meet his friends - so ask to be introduced. Though you're in the honeymoon phase now (and it's great that you can recognize that), you still need to gather information about him to see if he's the right one for you. Meeting his friends is a good gage of what type of person he is. Should I wait a bit longer before asking? I feel like he should want to have me meet his friends without me asking him. Perhaps, I should wait another month, and if he still hasn't had me meet them, or some of them, anyways, I should mention how I still haven't met any of his friends? He even mentioned once how I haven't met any of his friends. It was just an observation from him, but he didn't follow it up with any comment, like, "I should introduce you to them soon" or anything like that. It's nice that he's aware of the fact, but he doesn't seem too concerned about it. Maybe he's just waiting for a right time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sal110104 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Does he have friends that are a couple? Maybe you could suggest a double date? But yes I think meeting the friends sooner than later is important. So suggest an activity and tell him to invite his friends out - maybe have yours come out too & have a big group activity. You say this is the honeymoon stage - but it is important to see how he acts around his peers - maybe he could act different. 2 months is a very short time to know someone Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifeasiknowit Posted April 23, 2012 Author Share Posted April 23, 2012 do you think there's a reason for why he hasn't been interested in me meeting his friends? Is it too early? Link to post Share on other sites
sal110104 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 2 months is still a little early - I wouldnt panic yet. Not sure how often you see each other now - every night? If so then maybe he needs his "guy" time What do you guys usually do when hanging out - how did it come about that you met up with your friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifeasiknowit Posted April 23, 2012 Author Share Posted April 23, 2012 2 months is still a little early - I wouldnt panic yet. Not sure how often you see each other now - every night? If so then maybe he needs his "guy" time What do you guys usually do when hanging out - how did it come about that you met up with your friends? We see each other about twice a week. Usually we have a meal (dinner or lunch) and go out to things we are both interested in, like going to art galleries, little field trips to interesting places in the city, etc. We've spent a few weekends at each others apartments, and do regular stuff. We met up with my friends for breakfast. They invited me, and I asked if I could bring him along, which he was up for. He is very interested in meeting my friends, but doesn't seem too keen about me meeting his (hasn't really planned anything). What do you think it is? Maybe you're right, and it's too early for me to be worried about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 There are a few possible reasons: - he is into you, but would like to wait until your more serious, before introducing u to his friends... Some guys do not want to make a big deal about their girlfriends, in case u break up; some guys want to avoid having to explain the break up to his friends. My boyfriend did not want to take me to see his family for a year or so, because unless we were married, he did not see a point; what if we break up one day, and his family are all asking about me? He would have hated to explain it to anyone, when breaking up would likely have been bad enough ( without having to explain it to people) - he likes YOU, but feels your personality might clash with your friends. My boyfriends friends were very different people to me, and for that reason MY boyfriend was worried we would not all get along. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 mine finally explained that he didn't want his friends to steal me, so he kept me separate..aaawwxx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 i have been seeing a man for one year now and still haven't met any friends. i met his parents very early on and have a great relationship with them so it didn't bother me about the friends. i do wonder about it but i don't worry over it. there might be many reasons behind why you haven't met any friends. men typically don't have the close type of friendships women do, so maybe the 'friends' he is running off to meet are more acquaintances than anything. it could also be age-related; depending on what age group he is in, introducing you to friends may/may not be a big deal. this is really a small issue in the relationship and i'd not worry over it. for a solution though, i solved it by making new friends with him as a couple, so now we have 'couple' friends we go out with. the family is far more important to meet, so focus on that if anything. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 My exW and I were interacting with mutual friends as a dating couple prior to becoming sexually active and 'official' BF/GF. In our age demographic, it was customary. Friends validated and supported the burgeoning relationship and, in a humorous way, 'approved' it. This was consistent with past LTR's. Timeline was generally one to two months of contact prior to friends becoming part of the 'picture'. Link to post Share on other sites
Jane2011 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 I think I would've expected to have met a friend or two at the two month mark. It does kinda depend, though. If the guy and I have been spending two months alone and neither of us has met ANY of the other's friends/family, I wouldn't worry. I also wouldn't worry if I got the sense that he doesn't really have any good friends (just acquaintances), and there's no one for me to meet. (That is how it was in my last dating situation). But if he's clearly been doing things with friends/family (mostly friends) that are things I could conceivably have been invited to, I might wonder about why he's not bringing me around at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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