Not really an "addiction" per se, but it still hurts (kind of a long post)

[ButterflyPrincess]

I love my BF to pieces, but lately his pot-smoking has been really getting to me

 

When we first started dating, I did a couple hits with him, but since then I haven't touched another one, mostly because I really have no desire to do it, and because recently I've been on meds for an unrelated health condition.

 

Fast forward to the end of March- I went over to his place, and he lit one up. Again, because of my situation, I didn't smoke anything, so naturally I was very aware of what was going on and more importantly what it was doing to my BF. He acted like such a douche bag, which isn't like him at all. I tried not to cry in front of him, but I just couldn't help it- it hurt so much to see him like that, not at all like the man I fell in love with. He didn't even realize why I was so upset- he thought I was disappointed in myself because I couldn't join him, but honestly, I was just so disappointed in him. When he sobered up, we talked about it, and he broke down saying how sorry he was, and that he didn't mean to hurt me, and please don't leave. We worked it out.

 

So now the past few Sundays, he's been out with a buddy of his going off-roading, and they've been smoking on their little outings. Again, I'm having a hard time coping. I went to talk to him last night, and it felt like I was talking to a brick wall (he's usually my confidante when I'm having a tough day, which I was yesterday- but last night he was hardly any kind of consolation). I hate what the weed does to him. I talked to him this morning about it, and we kind of worked things out again, but it's still kind of hard, because I know next weekend it'll probably be the same old thing. He told me he woke up with a massive headache this morning, and to be honest, I can't say that I'm too upset about it- I know it's kind of bitchy, but a part of me was thinking "well, that's what you get"...

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to have to make him choose between his buddy and me, and I don't want to make him quit doing hits if it truly makes him happy. Last night was the closest I've ever come to wanting to end our relationship- but he's such an amazing person when he's not high, and he and his son have made me the happiest I've been in a very long time, these incidents notwithstanding. It's just so hard to see him when he's under the influence like that :'(

[jphcbpa]

you think weed is not addictive? most people dont but continue to use it for decades.

 

you need to set a boundary and decide what is acceptable behavior

[silvermane187]

It's not an addiction, it's a lifestyle choice. Why don't you just ask him to not smoke around you? That is a reasonable request from a partner. Asking for him to quit all together is asking too much. If him smoking with his buddies bothers you that much you should probably just end it. Ideally you will have enough of an open mind where you can let him have his vice when he's alone or with friends. It's not like he's an alcoholic or pill addict.

 

Weed doesn't give you hangovers by the way, so I fail to see what the massive headache the next day has to do with anything.

Edited April 23, 2012 by silvermane187