I Love This Girl That Lives 1,000 Miles Away

[KylesFloating]

Alright, I'm almost 27 and actually reasonably mature. I've dated many women and I really made an effort to use each failed relationship to find out more what it was that I wanted and needed for a satisfying, healthy, fulfilling relationship.

 

Well, I had just found myself completely infatuated with the most beautiful Colombian girl I've ever seen in my life. She's absolutely stunning, but I really only find myself attracted to genuinely good women. She lives in Miami but was visiting Houston (where I live) with friends from Colombia, mutual acquaintances, and we had a spark--but she had a boyfriend. I expressed my interest but backed off because I respect people's relationships. She went back to Miami and I was in Houston, and we were facebook friends but never talked (due to her boyfriend).

 

Flash forward a year later, and I still can't get the girl out of my mind. Not just because she's beautiful but she's honestly a genuinely good, sweet girl with passion for life and very intelligent and we just see life the same way. It's rare for me to find that. Anyways, a year later and I would still find myself daydreaming about this specific girl. I meet plenty of women, but she was just on another level. So, she's single...single for a couple months and actually hits me up out of the blue. I can't explain how excited I was!

 

From there, we talked and it just hit off perfectly. I also was happy to practice my Spanish and just many things, but I really took the time to get to know her and who she was as a person and likewise she did the same. She's just a genuine good girl and I guess she fell for me, which is awesome because she's pretty much exactly what I want...and she seems to feel the same about me. That's a great feeling, considering some of the terrible relationships I've had.

 

After talking for a couple months, I went and visited in Miami for a couple weeks. It was perfect. I'm not sure I've ever had that kind of connection with someone. We were both totally honest and straight up with each other, and it only was better in person. It was the best 2 weeks of my life. So damn hard to leave...but I did.

 

She used to just say "Baby te quiero" to me, which just means I want you/care about you...but after I left she started to say "Baby te amo" which means I love you. I also felt comfortable to say that back to her. She's stayed faithful, as have I, although we both enjoy the night life and have many friends. She's planning to visit me in May in Houston, and then maybe we'll go to California to visit some of my friends...or she'd like me to visit her in Cartagena in June. I'd love to, but we'll see.

 

Ultimately, although some women here will talk to me - I just don't want to waste my time on them because I'm not interested. This girl really is exactly what I want and when we're together, it's perfect. I'm really not a stupid kid I promise, I am a 26 year old man and I've taken care of myself since I was 18. She does make me feel like a 16 year old kid at times though.

 

Question is...what do I do? Where is this going? How do I continue this? I just keep falling for her more and more, but we live so far away. I could move, but I have a good career here in the Oil & Gas sector. I'm looking to start my own business but that'd take 3yrs minimum. She may be open to relocate, but that's a big step! I just...I can't just give up on this girl, but I am confused what to do but I just know she's special and it never ceases to amaze me how good of a person she is, and how true she's stayed to me. She just wants to be loved and treated right, and appreciates me for that. After the last girl I dated, I can't explain how much that means to me.

 

Sorry for the length, thanks for your advice

 

K

[january2011]

Have you spoken to her about her long-term plans? That would be a good place to start.

 

I know that you said you'd ideally like to stay where you are, but have you investigated the possiblities that exist in her location?

 

Another possibility is to split the difference and move somewhere that matches both your plans.

 

Long-distance relationships can be hard work. However, if both your long-term goals align, then why not consider how you can take it forward so that you can both be in the same location at the same time.

[pettie]

Have you spoken to her about her long-term plans? That would be a good place to start.

 

This precisely!

 

I am in a similar scenario with my SO. I'm also in the same industry (almost your age!), and one of the good things of it is that it is relatively easy to relocate, if you have the proper contacts and experience. Now, you mentioned that you will start something on your own, which is a good thing also but this will depend a lot in the city you will choose later.

 

In my own case, we haven't had a punctual conversation about this topic yet, but it's mainly because we, or I, at least, needed first to be very sure about being in the same page in our main personal and professional goals. It has taken us a year to reach this point. We know, more or less, where we are heading to. Still, we have agreed on having a proper conversation about this soon, in the upcoming weeks - he's dealing with some important/urgent stuff right now.

 

That's another point, take into consideration the time you have been properly dating (I'm not sure but I think I understood you have been in a relationship for about 2-3 months?), because rushing something like this (moving, change jobs, etc), as you say, it's a big step, meaning that you ultimately do want to make a future with this person. I tell you this because you have to make sure about every aspect before making such a big move in your life, as does her, and especially if it means changing countries (visa stuff included).

 

All the best.

[BamaBaby]

So happy for you that you have found someone who makes you feel that way. Don't give up on that! It is so hard to find and so special that it is worth whatever hurdles you have to overcome in order to keep it. Talk to her about long-term plans. See how she feels about moving to Houston. Go from there. But don't give up! Life is wayyyyy to short and geography is just a thang.

 

Good luck!!! I really hope it works out!!

[KylesFloating]

Thank you, all very helpful and on point replies. Yeah so it's just coming up on 3 months now, and we haven't had that conversation about long term plans except kind of in passing. It's probably something I'd talk about when we see each other next. I think we both are thinking about that, but we also both don't want to rush it. I'm definitely going to stay true to the girl and we'll discuss and see how it goes. I couldn't help it anyways, I am so in love with her even if I wanted to move on I couldn't. Fortunately, she's so in love with me too...which I've seen in many different ways. She's a Colombian girl and I've never dated a Latin woman and her loyalty, passion, and love never ceases to amaze me. I'm so used to many women I see here and they just aren't on that level. I really need passion and never found enough of it in my past relationships, and that was another thing that drew me to her. She's a little younger than I am, so I feel bad for her that I'm so far away.

 

This is just unlike anything I've ever experienced. Keep in mind I am 26 and fairly experienced in love and dating, but I feel a deep connection with her on a level that I've not felt even in some longer term relationships. Like I would be happy to spend my life with her. She's the same way...which is pretty typical of many Latin women. Totally about love. I think we both try to stay logical but there's just this intense passion and connection.

 

I will admit, the first time I saw her it was 'lust at first sight' because I didn't know her but I thought she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Like a cross between Sofia Vergara and Penelope Cruz. I really did spend the time to get to know her though and that's when I realized how special this might be. We had the same hopes and dreams, we just...seem perfect together. We're both very open minded and truly enjoy the cultural differences and are very passionate, kind, caring people and compliment each other perfectly.

 

If I ask her future plans, she'd tell me she wants to spend her life with me. She's told me that before. She's open to relocating but I think she would really miss her family because that's very important to her. My family is moving out of country so I have no ties and would be willing to relocate. I just would have to find a good opportunity there. It's still a bit too early for that but when I see her this Summer we'll discuss our future plans and if things continue progressing I'd really be open to relocating perhaps at the end of 2012.

 

I just am not someone who will settle and I can't help it. I think I may have found my soulmate, and I'm so in love. It's the most extraordinary feeling when you find out the girl of your dreams, the one you secretly admired for almost a year, has secretly been feeling the same way about you...then you get to know each other and only find your more perfect and fall more in love. It's like a dream, and if I was with her every day I'd treat her with such respect, give her all the love and affection she wants, and we'd have a great life. Her parents are so happy and cute after 20 years, it's awesome. I want that.

[LDR Nation]

Well if you two are as crazy about each other as you say, then moving closer together will happen eventually anyways, so don't rush the move and run the risk of making a mistake . If I were you, I'd keep visiting when I could for now while exploring my career options for a possible move in the future.

 

The thing is...You can move anywhere in the world at any time, but finding and keeping a stable job there is an issue. So I would research the local employers to make sure that I would enjoy working for them. After all, you will work the majority of the day, and if the workplace is horrible, your life will be too.

 

Also, if you and her are really in love, then that means you both plan on staying together in the long-run. That means that if you take the time to make smart life-changing decisions like the ones right here, she will still be there waiting for you in the end. So just relax, take your time making decisions, and it'll work out.

 

Good Luck!

LDRnation

[rosadeldesierto]

I am a Latin woman and even my story is not inspiring, I couldn't help and dare to give you some advice.

 

Let me tell you that you got the whole picture about the way Latin women we are. Everything is TRUE! We are warm, affectionate, passionate, totally devoted to our man but we can also be very emotional. Sometimes we love drama:rolleyes:... Don't be afraid of that. Just never ever try to repress your girlfriend's feelings -that happened to me with my ex from a different country and I ended up being SO miserable. We were the opposite regarding to show our feelings. I'm mentioning this just in case because I am not sure if that was related to cultural issues or just his personality but for me it was very frustrating.

 

So, always let her be. And yes, we are also very patient... I waited 3 years for him even I struggled all the time to handle about my intense emotions. Unfortunately, our LDR didn't work but I can tell I could wait even longer if he hadn't dumped me.

 

Best regards;)

[FitChick]

Miami to Houston isn't that far. You could alternate weekends and take advantage of those last minute discount plane fares. Why not do an online job search to see what the employment opportunities are in Miami?