How do I handle this

[Ellamay]

I met a guy on a dating website about a week ago. We had an interesting conversation and spoke on the phone for a few hours.

He lives 2 hours away but he decided to come to my city to meet me. Anyways we meet, go out to eat, and then go play pool and have some drinks. We have a fun time and hes super hot (I feel a little out of my league) . Anyways he dropped me off at home and drives all the way back at 1:30am like a perfect gentleman

 

The next day he messages me saying he had a great time and Im hilarious Never really complimenting me, or insinuating he wants to date or even see me again. I mention that to him and he says

 

"its really far, I couldnt do that all the time, I hope you understand"

 

and Im like of course, Im getting my car fixed soon, so I can come see you

and hes like

 

"okay, youre great company, keep my number and when you get your truck fixed give me a shout"

 

I said "sure thing" and we didnt say anything more after that.

 

 

Anyways about a week passes and I notice hes goin off on a tangent on his profile saying hes closing his account. I decided to send him a message to see how he was doing and hes like "please call me"

 

so I called him and he tells me

 

"he thought I looked good and he had a good time and he wanted to basically make a move but wanted to be a gentleman"

 

okay...but he never complimented me before or really even tried to keep in contact.

 

anyways he proceeds to tell me he wants to be "friends" and asks if I would like to see him next weekend. He wants to drive 2 hours to my city again, but this time get a hotel because "the drive was ridiculous at 2am"

 

I told him sure, and we havent spoken since. That was Saturday.

 

He doesnt make much of an effort to really talk to me a lot. He never mentioned anything about me staying at the hotel with him.

but why would a guy drive 2 hours and get a hotel for someone he only met once who he wants to be "friends" with

 

Im not sure if he will follow through, or what his intentions are, but Im interested in him and I dont want to get hurt.

 

I know im not entitled to be exclusive with him since we only met once and Im aware that its a good thing to be "friends" before dating. Im just worried hes going to put me in the friendzone and think its okay to talk to other woman in front of me and talk to me about it, or worse try and sleep with me and then say "well you knew it wasnt serious"

 

I dont know what to do about him, should I cancel this weekend?

[crazylove]

hmmm, red flags to me.

A) Because he didn't really contact you after the last date.

B) Sounds like he's dated since and somethings gone wrong so he's using you as a back up.

C) He doesn't try and talk to you at all since saying about coming next weekend. (If he was your 'friend' wouldn't he want to take the opportunity to get to know u a bit better before meeting up again.

D)The 'you were great company' line, sorta sounds like a friendzone comment.

E) Bet your bottom dollar he'll ask you to sleep with him...after saying he wanted to make a move after the last time he met you.

 

I'd be wary if it was me.

[Ellamay]

Thanks. I had those exact same suspicions. Youre probably right, I just needed to hear it from someone else.

[crazylove]

Good luck if u do go and decide to give him a chance, but just keep your wits about you:)

[Vizier]

Hi Ellamay,

 

It is certainly understandable why you would be unsure about meeting him this weekend or cancelling. Since things with him right now are in the early stages, the whole situation could go either way depending on the choices you make.

 

Whenever I face a relationship which has an uncertain outcome, I would do a forecast. I would see how it would turn out 6 months down the road or if I am meeting someone in your situation, how the meeting will go. Once I am aware of the things that will happen, it becomes easier to decide what I should do. In any case, I will go into things ready and with my eyes open.

 

If you do decide to meet him, I hope it goes well for you. All the best!