LittleBrowneyes Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 well I have a LDR with a man 5 hours away. We are now together 8 months. We see each other at least once a month and fill our thoughts in emails and hours in phone calls. The problem is, i feel as if he has become so distant since last month when we had our first intimate moment (if you know what i mean). However, Since college has ended and the summer has started ( and he lives by the lake) The man who called me every night , no longer calls me every night. He doesnt really email me as much. He makes sure to call me every other day, however the call only lasts no longer than 5 minn. or he says he will call me back later on the night and doesnt call. He will still leave me emails to tell me he misses me tons. But they are much shorter. I am suppose to see him in two weeks. However, because he has become so distant i have become hurt and angry and I dont know if I should terminate the relatinship. Myabe i am being selfish. I Dont know. What do you guys think? Should i leave this person? Latlety. I dont seem important anymore. And its a 5 hour relatinship. Maybe its not worth it? ugh. Advice anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 Have you tried talking to him and telling him what you are feeling? Don't break up without trying to find out if there really is a problem. It could be he is really busy and doesn't realize that he is hurting you. Best wishes for you Link to post Share on other sites
whispering_willoww Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 Now before you give up, have you talked with him to tell him how you feel? I think it may be time for a road trip. Then you can tell him how you feel face to face. maybe too much time has passed since you have seen one another and he needs a little refresher or reminder to get that flame growing strong again. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleBrowneyes Posted June 20, 2004 Author Share Posted June 20, 2004 No i havent really told him how its makeing me feel( which is miserable). I guess i am not very good at expressing myself in that manner- at least over the phone. He really is an incrediable man, its just i feel so ignored by him over the past month. And this less attention i get from him ...the less i call or write to him as well which is creating a gap between us. But i do see him this 4th of July weekend. I guess i am just afriad to really tell him how i feel. I have hinted that the LDR is frustrating me. BUt he just reacts baffled over that response over the phone. Perhaps it is just me makeing the mistake. Ugh. thx for responding guys. Boy these LDR s are tuff Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 LDR's are a tough relationship to maintain but if you can communicate and be open and honest, it is well worth it. When you get to see him, tell him what you are thinking and how you are feeling and try to express yourself. I know it is frustrating to not hear as much from him, so you don't respond as much ... but think of each little call or email as a special bond and gift to the one you love I do hope things work out and you two are able to come up with a workable solution :) Link to post Share on other sites
joeylin04 Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 My ex used to hate it when i call her everyday. Some people just have difference preferences. As for me, i love to talk to her even tho we talked about almost everthing already. I only wish I would meet a girl like you. I hope you find what youare looking for. ---JOe Link to post Share on other sites
amanda25 Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 I think you should tell him how you feel, and at least give him a chance to explain, because maybe there is a good reason??Don't just leave him without him knowing why, or with "ideas" that you are thinking, which could end up being wrong.. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleBrowneyes Posted June 28, 2004 Author Share Posted June 28, 2004 Thank you guys for the advice, but I think I really messed up. We haven't spoken in almost 7 days now (although he called yesterday and I missed it, no message). he called last week just to say Hi, and I was a little down and I told him I needed to get some work done, and he took offense to it. He was asking me why was I cutting him short on the phone (in my mind I was holding the grudge) and I told him," maybe if you pick up the phone" and he became furious and yelled, "fine..bye!" ...Mind that I never raised my voice to him before so this was the first. I called back only to get the answering machine, and as a defense mechanism I just left a message that contained a lot of giggles..but I wasn't "lapuhing" as teasing, I was lauping in out rage, and I think he took that to heart. He wouldn't pick up the phone thereafter, I tried at least 5 times, and emailed him. He wouldn't even return my emails. I poured my heart in them and told him how i was feeling, but no response. I meant to have this heart to heart conversation during our 4rth of July, But I suppose there is no 4th of July with us this year, and my heart is so broken. Although he did call yesterday, he left no message. And this resentment that has grown has me so afraid to even call him now. Anyway, this situation is just a big mess. I never had him this upset with me before. Perhaps he was tierd of me saying that he doesn't call when he is suppose too. Maybe he tried the best he could and I was selfish to want more. Anyway, I cant take this anymore. Silence is so deadly. thx guys. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 You could have called him back today, but since you didn't, try calling him tomorrow. Tell him that you noticed he called, that you hoped he was doing well and that you are sorry for previous behavior. Explain to him that you were not laughing at him, nor were you trying to start a fight but that your feelings were hurt and you weren't able to express it. Hopefully he will be understanding and talk it out, then you can come back here and tell us about the happy reunion. I do wish you luck and yeah, silence is an ugly thing sometimes. Best wishes for you both! Link to post Share on other sites
joeylin04 Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Woah, this is soo strange. What you got there happened to me but kinda reversed. Well if you want to know, me and my girl broke up soon afterward. She told me that some people like to be called everyday and some just like to be left alone. Well I really dont know what to say but hey i hope everything works out for ya. joe Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleBrowneyes Posted July 13, 2004 Author Share Posted July 13, 2004 The End. Well, what can I say, I thought I would share with you all who offered advice and a little confidence when i was feeling so low. Unfortunately, my LDR came to its end. Yes, they work out. If...however, two parties are willing to work it out. Somehow, I just couldn't handle the distance anymore. So it is my lost. I tried expressing myself and working things out, somehow we just begain to argue. Neither of us wanted to admit our faults or failuers, so in the end It was my choice to part ways. It was however, a huge lift off my shoulders. I will miss him with all my heart, he is truly a wonderfull person. good luck to every one else in a LDR, I wish you all the best. Little brown eyes Link to post Share on other sites
Suzi Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Originally posted by LittleBrowneyes The End. Well, what can I say, I thought I would share with you all who offered advice and a little confidence when i was feeling so low. Unfortunately, my LDR came to its end. Yes, they work out. If...however, two parties are willing to work it out. Somehow, I just couldn't handle the distance anymore. So it is my lost. I tried expressing myself and working things out, somehow we just begain to argue. Neither of us wanted to admit our faults or failuers, so in the end It was my choice to part ways. It was however, a huge lift off my shoulders. I will miss him with all my heart, he is truly a wonderfull person. good luck to every one else in a LDR, I wish you all the best. Little brown eyes Cheer up LittleBrowneyes, I had a friend who used to say: All good things come once to the end …{and when we all were looking at him sadly he would continue}… but then comes something even better. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
living dead Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 LDRs are bad, I am with this girl although in two days that I will be back she will probably tell me that it's over. We started dating while I was abroad, during a short vacation. It was all great for 6 months until 20 days ago she stopped making contact, was very distant etc. When I pressed to find out what is happening she said that she cann't handle the distance and that it is destroying her feelings. I asked her to wait until I was back and then we could see what will happen. three days ago she said that she is not in love with me anymore and that we cann't continue. I said just give me a chance but she said that there is no point and that there is realy no chance to change her feelings. i said that she should at least rethink it when I am back and she said she doesn't know, she says that it will be bad for me, I will get more hurt. But she doesn;t know that I will get more hurt if she doesn't give me this chance, losing a battle you never fought is the worst thing in the world. Sh should give me a chance, I never offended her or anything , she just fell out of love due to the distance and now is convinced that she is doing the right thing not to hurt me too much. she doesn't understand that she is killing me.................... Life is so bad now..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleBrowneyes Posted July 24, 2004 Author Share Posted July 24, 2004 Well, LDR's are really not that bad( unless of course you like to talk essesively on the phone). However, they are just extremaly difficult to maintain. Sometimes they can even be expensive, which was alsmot a problem for me. I dont think men realize how much attention women need. Maybe your girlfreind figuerd that you are haveing a blast and a wonderfull time in yout trip- -without her. So she may be feeling left out or somethin. thats how i use to feel. He was haveing a exteamly wonderfull time in his trips and I was way back at home waiting for him to just call. I hated being that girlfreind at home waiting. So i can understand a little where she is comming from. Sometimes women will threaton to end a relationship for the man to " get it" together and show us and give us more attention. Women are very needy people, but all in all, LDR's are really tuff. In my relatinship I couldnt really handle the distance anymore and just the thoughts of him meeting other women was a bad feeling. ANyways, good luck in your end. Maybe she will come around? Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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