The fourth date with a girl...... I havent kissed yet.

[BlindRage]

Now, I'm doubting if I should.

 

This might sound weird but she is the most amazingly sweet girl I have met. I don't want to risk losing her. I have already told her that I want to make sure she knows I think the best of her and that I enjoy hanging out with her. It's not even on a physical level at this point. I just love being around her and hearing her talk and watching her. My relationships never work out so I am scared that if I kiss her I'll make it complicated.

 

On our last date after I gave her a good night hug and left she texted me while I was half-way home to say she had wanted me to kiss her. She said that she's not the type to make the first move and that I should be the one that does it.

 

I'm taking her skydiving on our fourth date in San Diego (we are in L.A.). Might sound strange but she sounded excited about the idea and she mentioned she has always wanted to try it. After that obviously dinner.

 

The question is, should I make a first move and risk it? She is so nice that I do not think there are many girls like her out there anymore. Well at least not that I know of, she's the first. She sounds like marriage material (for me) when she tells me her values. She's great with kids and loves them. She likes cooking and cleaning. She said ideally she would like to be a stay at home mom but she knows that won't happen (I'm old fashioned and would love a stay at home wife). She enjoys things that I do. She's beautiful. She isn't judgmental. She is carrying. She is honest with me ..... and the list goes on and on

 

I don't know if she would even date me at this point. I'm kind of leaning towards just being her best-friend to always have her around.

 

 

^

What do you think?

[Reddice]

The question is, should I make a first move and risk it?

 

Your intentions are noble and I respect you for that. But dude... You really need to kiss her. And not just any kind of kiss, but the most passionate kiss you can give and will ever give. She is practically begging you for it! Trust me when I say that you will lose her if you don't take action now! She is not going to hang around and wait indefinately for you.

 

Oh and once you have... let us know how it turned out!

Edited April 24, 2012 by Reddice

[silvermane187]

On our last date after I gave her a good night hug and left she texted me while I was half-way home to say she had wanted me to kiss her. She said that she's not the type to make the first move and that I should be the one that does it.

wtf is wrong with you? make a move already! she literally spelled it out for you! jesus christ.

[Chi townD]

wtf is wrong with you? make a move already! she literally spelled it out for you! jesus christ.

 

 

Totally agree with this!!! Just wait for the right moment and you can make that moment happen. Just look into her eyes and when she looks at you...just go in! She's not going to reject you! As silvermane stated, she already spelled it out for you! SHE WANTS YOU TO KISS HER!!! So.....go give the girl what she wants!

 

OH!!!! and when it happens, we want details!!!! None of this don't kiss and tell bull crap either!!!

[BewitchedandBothered]

Now, I'm doubting if I should.

 

This might sound weird but she is the most amazingly sweet girl I have met. I don't want to risk losing her. I have already told her that I want to make sure she knows I think the best of her and that I enjoy hanging out with her. It's not even on a physical level at this point. I just love being around her and hearing her talk and watching her. My relationships never work out so I am scared that if I kiss her I'll make it complicated.

 

On our last date after I gave her a good night hug and left she texted me while I was half-way home to say she had wanted me to kiss her. She said that she's not the type to make the first move and that I should be the one that does it.

 

I'm taking her skydiving on our fourth date in San Diego (we are in L.A.). Might sound strange but she sounded excited about the idea and she mentioned she has always wanted to try it. After that obviously dinner.

 

The question is, should I make a first move and risk it? She is so nice that I do not think there are many girls like her out there anymore. Well at least not that I know of, she's the first. She sounds like marriage material (for me) when she tells me her values. She's great with kids and loves them. She likes cooking and cleaning. She said ideally she would like to be a stay at home mom but she knows that won't happen (I'm old fashioned and would love a stay at home wife). She enjoys things that I do. She's beautiful. She isn't judgmental. She is carrying. She is honest with me ..... and the list goes on and on

 

I don't know if she would even date me at this point. I'm kind of leaning towards just being her best-friend to always have her around.

 

 

^

What do you think?

 

if you wanted to kiss her, you would have done so. I can't believe you let all those dates pass without making a move. I am surprised she is still dating you rather than just being pals. PS; she sounds like a great lady=the very fact that she wants to be a Stay at home Mom one day, and the fact that you are down with that is wonderful. You guys click on that--that is a huge deal:) Not many couples agree on that:)

Edited April 24, 2012 by BewitchedandBothered

[SilverBlueAndGold]

Do you want to be a boyfriend or end up in the friend zone?

 

While waiting is not a bad idea, just how long are you planning on waiting. I mean you want to kiss her eventually, right? If you are afraid that kissing in and of itself will ruin the relationship then maybe you are not ready for any relationship?

[BlindRage]

Do you want to be a boyfriend or end up in the friend zone?

 

While waiting is not a bad idea, just how long are you planning on waiting. I mean you want to kiss her eventually, right? If you are afraid that kissing in and of itself will ruin the relationship then maybe you are not ready for any relationship?

 

 

Hello,

 

Thank you all for your responses

They were great!

Definitely gave me a lot to think about which is why it has taken me so long to respond.

 

After careful consideration I decided that I will not kiss her. Tomorrow is our "date" and I've been contemplating it, though after I received a text today that read she will have to be home early tomorrow, I decided to just leave it how it is. I told her that we would go out and do that so I am sticking to my word and doing what I said. All-in-all it will be friendly fun and I will take her home early per her request.

 

Skydiving.... here I come!

 

[WildHorses]

Hello,

 

Thank you all for your responses

They were great!

Definitely gave me a lot to think about which is why it has taken me so long to respond.

 

After careful consideration I decided that I will not kiss her. Tomorrow is our "date" and I've been contemplating it, though after I received a text today that read she will have to be home early tomorrow, I decided to just leave it how it is. I told her that we would go out and do that so I am sticking to my word and doing what I said. All-in-all it will be friendly fun and I will take her home early per her request.

 

Skydiving.... here I come!

 

 

WOW....you are going to lose her. Game over.

[somedude81]

WOW....you are going to lose her. Game over.

I pretty much said the same thing but my post was deleted.

 

*Shrug*

Edited April 29, 2012 by somedude81

[beyond]

As a woman, if I asked for a man to kiss me (which is brave in itself) and he didn't, I would take it that he liked me but didn't fancy me.

 

Do you fancy her?

 

I'm not saying grab her and shove your tongue down her throat, but gently lean in for a kiss and see where your feelings take you.

 

Her having to go home early is not a reason not to kiss her - it only takes a minute!

 

Have fun

 

x

[Mr Scorpio]

Hello,

After careful consideration I decided that I will not kiss her. Tomorrow is our "date" and I've been contemplating it, though after I received a text today that read she will have to be home early tomorrow, I decided to just leave it how it is.

 

Have you ever the heard the saying that it is the things in life that you don't do that you will regret? Yes, if you kiss her and the two of you start dating, things will become "complicated". But guess what? Relationships are complicated!.

 

Moreover, by not kissing her, you are risking losing her! So you don't kiss her, and she takes a liking to a different guy who does kiss her. Do you think she is going to have time to spend with you? Do you think her new BF is going to want you there, listening to her talk and watching her?

 

I think you are making a big mistake.

[sweetheart5381]

Just my opinion as a woman, but if I haven't been kissed by the fourth date I would be feeling fairly undesired - not the best way to begin any sort of dating relationship.

 

Personally, if I start to get a vibe that they are not interested I ask them point blank, "Are you gonna kiss me anytime soon? I'm starting to wonder if you aren't into me..." Since this girl has already told you that she wants you to, it is almost an insult not to.

 

If you're into her, you had better show her. Life is too short to wait for something that may never come and she will find another that will show her how much she is appreciated and desired.

[esteem-jam]

Just walk in the park. Then say: "Wait, lets stop now."

"Can I kiss you?"

I think shell answer yes, or else she would not have went to 4-5 dates with you.

 

Then you kiss her, topic closed.

[BlindRage]

OKAY SOOOOOOO.....

 

I KISSED HER.

LAST night actually.

 

I think she felt forced to kiss me and she kept it as short as possible. Today I asked her to hang out and get coffee, she said that she's laying in bed so no.

 

 

Ha, thats how the story goes.

 

What do ya'll say, should I move on and not text her?

[Mr Scorpio]

She said no because she was laying in bed? Let me guess, after that she was going to wash her hair and then make a model house out of popsicle sticks? Sounds like you waited too long and she lost interest.

[esteem-jam]

Well... maybe it was the truth, she was just lying in bed, case of it is what it is.

 

Do call her one more time. Call, with your voice, dont email or text. Suggest a date.

 

Possible bad scenarios: she doesnt pick up. Or she says that she is again "doing something". Then you know that she is not interested and you retreat and abandon the relationship, and dont initiate contact anymore.

 

Possible good scenario: she agrees to meet. Well, then its great? I dont understand you properly, but you Do like her, right? Or no? Well if she agrees to meet, you can proceed... I mean... free sex... wowz =)

If you meet again, in your next date, say: you know, I have the apartment free, I want you to see how I live. Then you meet at your place, you give her coffee, show/tell around the house, you give her wine, and you make it physical -> sex.

[geegirl]

I think give it one more shot. And yes, no texting or email. If she responds positively then great and if not, move on.

 

While your intentions were very respectful of her, when a woman wants you to kiss her, kiss her. At some point it can be a turn off, especially when she's opened the door for you.

 

I also wonder about the kiss. Was it good? Soft, passionate, tender? I once went out on 4 dates with a guy. He never initiated and I didn't either but I liked him enough to wait until he did. The fifth date he kissed me and darted his tongue in my mouth. I was turned off. Maybe it was the fish at dinner.

[BewitchedandBothered]

OKAY SOOOOOOO.....

 

I KISSED HER.

LAST night actually.

 

I think she felt forced to kiss me and she kept it as short as possible. Today I asked her to hang out and get coffee, she said that she's laying in bed so no.

 

 

Ha, thats how the story goes.

 

What do ya'll say, should I move on and not text her?

 

Egads; move on. If that's not a hint and a half, I don't know what is. I asked a guy out and he said he couldn't because he didn't have his shoes on. I think I was 20 or something, LOL, but still.....He didn't have his shoes on....She's laying in bed...Think about that. If I was interested, I would get myself out of bed and let the fellow pick me up for a date.

[esteem-jam]

@Bewitched

"lying in bed" could also be interpreted as "Im lying in bed.... wanna come?"

 

Id still suggest what I and geegirl said.

[BewitchedandBothered]

@Bewitched

"lying in bed" could also be interpreted as "Im lying in bed.... wanna come?"

 

Id still suggest what I and geegirl said.

 

LOL!!!!!! I wish I'd thought of that;)

[BewitchedandBothered]

Well... maybe it was the truth, she was just lying in bed, case of it is what it is.

 

Do call her one more time. Call, with your voice, dont email or text. Suggest a date.

 

Possible bad scenarios: she doesnt pick up. Or she says that she is again "doing something". Then you know that she is not interested and you retreat and abandon the relationship, and dont initiate contact anymore.

 

Possible good scenario: she agrees to meet. Well, then its great? I dont understand you properly, but you Do like her, right? Or no? Well if she agrees to meet, you can proceed... I mean... free sex... wowz =)

If you meet again, in your next date, say: you know, I have the apartment free, I want you to see how I live. Then you meet at your place, you give her coffee, show/tell around the house, you give her wine, and you make it physical -> sex.

 

...I'll be right over, Esteem-Jam, lOL;) I agree with this one, OP, give her a call. People rely too much on texting; the proof is in the voice and reaction.

[BlindRage]

So I'm withdrawing from her. I am not seeing her as a potential gf anymore. Today I asked her to tell me anything she had in mind and she said that she's confused and doesn't know what she wants.

 

That was all I needed to know that there was nothing there. I apologized for having kissed her and left it at that (I felt that I had to because on her part it seemed that she felt forced).

 

I was contemplating canceling the cellphone service but I decided that regardless of how she did not feel towards me, she's a good person. So I won't do it. I'll just ride it till the end of the contract. [i purchased her a phone w/ 2 year contract]

 

Now I'm looking forward to the future and maybe finding a great lady someday that can love me back

Edited May 7, 2012 by BlindRage

[gibson]

Let me see if I got this all straight...

 

1. You two go on 4 amazing dates.

 

2. She tells you she wants you to make the first move.

 

3. You ask us and everyone says to go for it (including all the women) because if you don't make a move, she will lose interest.

 

4. After much thought and consideration, you decided it was in your best interest and in hers that you two not kiss on the next date, even though she asked / wants you too.

 

5. However, you have no issue buying her a cell phone with a 2 year contract.

 

6. After the 6th date or more, you finally decide now is the time to kiss her.

 

7. As everyone predicted, she had already lost interest.

 

8. You ask her out twice and she blows you off both times.

 

9. Then you ask her what her deal is about what her intentions are.

 

10. Then you apologize for kissing her, which insults her even further.

 

You probably learned a lot about yourself, women in general and how to be a better dater through this experience... all which is very good.

 

I don't care how nice she is, you should not pay for a cell phone over the next 2 years to someone that you barely know, only kissed once and no longer dating.

Simply notify her that you are terminating the contract... Trust me, she is expecting you too.

Edited May 7, 2012 by gibson

[beyond]

BR, I don't really understand about the cell phone stuff -do you mean you are going to pay her phone bill for next 2 years??!!! If so cancel that now.

I'm surprised she let you do this anyway after a few dates - I would find it a bit controlling tbh.

 

Read the above post by Gibson, it makes a LOT of sense.

[Daniel Kaiser]

You should make things a little bit more smooth.

 

Girls like guys with attitude and confidence, in other words, that not only SHOW, but actually KNOW what they are doing.

 

To go smooth on things like this, you have to escalate. You should start by holding the girl's hand - you will get no objection, you'll see. After a while, it will feel comfortable, and you should escalate to touching her arms, and/or caressing her while having your arm around her.

 

I'm just giving you a few tips on how to take things like this smoothly, so it doesn't feel forced and KILL all the attraction she has for you.

 

Good luck!

 

ps. I just read about the phone contract thing, dude, thats a BIG attraction killer. It may sound like you are being "nice" and a "good guy", but girls smell stuff like that, and in reality it's MANIPULATIVE. Yes, you wanted to purchase feelings, even if on a conscious level you don't know that.

 

CANCEL THAT ASAP. And never do it again. Please

Edited May 7, 2012 by Daniel Kaiser