wing81 Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 I am trying to do the best for my family and my current job and salary are not enough to pay bills and spend quality time with wife and 9 month old son. I recently got a job offer that will almost double my salary and provide more set hours which should be allow for more time at home with the family. The catch is it is out of state and relocation isn't included. Since it may take time to save money for a new home and sell my current one I am willing to work away from home and pay the current bills until we can get the family relocated. I know it will be more upfront cost but feel the new salary and better benefits will pay off in the long run. My wife is upset the that it may take more time to sell the house and save up for a new one which means more time away from home and that we might as well get divorced since I will just be sending money home and not spending quality time with them. I know it will be tough but seems I can't afford to stay with current job or we will lose out to the mortgage and bills. If we did lose everything I feel more comfortable being able to take care of my family with the new salary than my current. Am I being unfair to her by leaving to make more money? I feel like she thinks me being away from home is not a sacrifice for me to provide for for them. Link to post Share on other sites
wow04 Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 This is something you and your wife have to decide. More money would be great. There are a few things though. Is she willing to move out of state? Is it an option to go home on the weekends to spend time with them? Where are you going to live while out of state? Is it an option she can come spend time with you? If you work at this, it can work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wing81 Posted April 24, 2012 Author Share Posted April 24, 2012 She is willing to go because it will be a better opportunity especially for our son going from alabama to texas. She just wants a house she likes before moving but will be difficult to save for one if I come home every weekend.. I am willing to come home as often as possible and can still pay or current mortgage and bills plus my living expenses with the new job. I know the bills are tight and thought about second jobs here so she can take care of our son but my current work schedule doesn't allow that flexibility. Can't seem to find a happy medium of making enough to provide and spending quality time. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 Do this: Find a good realtor in Alabama and get them to help you LEASE your house while she/he is trying to sell it. Then pack up your family and move together. You do NOT want to leave a woman alone with a 9-month-old baby, not if you want to keep your marriage. Tell her that you will get a tiny (cheap) apartment in the new town for ONE month, and during that month, you two will spend all your spare time looking for a nice place to lease for a year in the neighborhood your NEW realtor in Texas tells you is best for the job and the family. Move to that place, and just sit back and enjoy the house and the neighborhood. Help your wife make new friends, hang out with other couples in the neighborhood, establish some relationships. Do NOT leave that for her to do on her own! During that year, both of you start looking at houses. You can get a LOT of house here in Texas for less than anywhere else in the country. I'm in a 4500-sq-foot house that's worth about $350,000 in Houston. You can get a great 1500-sq-foot house for about $100,000. That way, you don't have to rush in and take the first house you see, and you'll get to enjoy the house you're leasing. And improve your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
setsenia Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 (edited) That does sound like a difficult decision. Sometimes it's a bit iffy to relocate for a job that won't pay for it. My brother moved to Oregon for a not-so-great paying job, they didn't provide for the relocation or anything and he was back after only 2 months. The job laid him off. Ask yourself this, could you see yourself living permanently in this state, even if the job in the worst case scenario, ever laid you off? These are some things to consider before making hasty decisions. My brother was lucky my dad helped pay for him to move back. Sometimes, it may not be worth it, even if the job seems to be better paying. Another option, I would do honestly, is rent your house out for awhile while you are living in this area. That way, if anything were to backfire in the long run, you have a home to come back to. Edited April 24, 2012 by setsenia Link to post Share on other sites
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