My best friend is in love with me... i could use some advice

[shooting_star22]

Hey people! I have a bit of a problem. I've got these two guy friends (we'll call them Ed and Fred). Ed and Fred have been friends for a long time. Over the past year, I've been getting really close with Ed. I was dating this other guy for about 7 months, but we just broke up. Ed was always there for me when I needed someone to talk to and I did the same for him. We hang out a lot in groups and are always at the same parties. So we're really good friends. I never really thought of Ed as the kind of guy I would date. We flirt a lot, but it's all in fun. Just recently, I've been getting closer with Fred too. I have a mini crush on Fred, but it's nothing big. I just think he's cute and a cool guy. But that's all.

 

A little while ago, Ed told me that he's head over heels in love with me and has been for awhile. The day before that, Fred had spent the night at my house. We just stayed up all night talking about anything and everything. Then we fell asleep. (I swear we didn't do anything more) Ed thinks I like Fred. Fred knows Ed likes me. And I'm stuck in the middle, confused as hell.

 

I don't think I want a relationship right now. I'm still getting over my ex. I told Ed this, and I told him that I don't want anything to change our friendship. I really enjoy the way we are now. I think I just confused him though 'cuz I was jumbling all my thoughts together.

 

I guess I don't have any specific question, but I was just wondering if anybody has some advice on all this. I'm kinda in a pickle here. Help?

[fundamental]

shooting_star22,

 

The Ed & Fred Show

 

Well, first of all you have to answer these two questions. Do you like Ed? Do you like Fred?

 

Now that you have answered those questions. Do you like Fred or Ed in a romantic way, or just as friends? Based on your post, it seems like you are attracted to Fred but are afraid to hurt Ed's feelings because you don't want anything more than a platonic friendship. It also seems that you enjoy Ed's company but again, do not want it to go beyond a friendship. Now that Ed is "in love" with you, if you just want a friendship, tell him so? If not, he is always going to think he has a shot with you and this will not allow him to move on. Now you are probably getting a lot of attention from Ed and are not willing to let that go just yet. Remember, I am just basing this reply off of what you have posted, so I do not know the entire situation. I don't mean to be harsh but it seems that you are addicted to the attention that Ed gives you. If you truly don't know how you feel, let some time go by without seeing either guy. Which one are you missing the most?

 

Also:

Would you be upset if Ed found a woman he liked and started dating her? Would you be happy for him even though he is giving you less attention?

 

Anyway, just trying to offer some words of advice. Hope the situation works out.

 

fundamental

fundamentally sound