2nVme Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 I am so sad right now & crying as I type this letter to everybody who I don't know but hope that I get some answer. Yesturday afternoon I was cleaning out my walk in closet & as I was putting away my boyfriend's pants away, I felt a tape in his pants so I thought it was going to be of our 2yr old daughter, My boyfriend saw that I took the tape & asked me for it so I said "oh I put it away" so he said he wanted it back, so then as he was taking a bath I saw that he put it in his new pants, so I tought something was up with that tape, when I got & put it on it was him rec. this hoe taking off her bras then panties then showing her dirty nasty vagina, she was sucking his penis.. put it like this a SEX TAPE they did everything there & the part that hurt me the most was when I saw he was fu*king her without a condom am sooo badly hurt I just had to tell my family 'bout it, I told my cousin & forget it... I didn't know he would tell every damn body. I just felt that he had something with somebody & I prayed the night before & I said "please God if my boyfriend is with somebody else please show it to me" & the very next day I found that tape. Now he tells me that he wants to marry me for our 10yr anniversary of being together, I don't know what I should do, we are still friends but is like am sooo hurt inside & my heart tells me yes be with him & my mind tells me NO LEAVE, LEAVE, LEAVE. He told me that he called the girl that made that sex tape with him & told her that it was over with them & told me that she was crying, he also told me that he been with her for 2months but he has been working with her for 'bout 1yr. I just wanna screw that bitch up, not for him but because she knew that I was still with him I told him that he should of just told me that he wanted 2 see other people now I just don't know please if somebody could just please help me, am soo fu*ken nevous right now & i just don't know what to do!! PLEASE HELP!! Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 Don't be mad at her...be mad at your boyfriend! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 Oh, they're both at fault. In case you really need somebody to tell you, dump this assclown. Not only does he have no respect whatsoever for you, but he's also got no class, and thinks he can just talk his way out of it. He wasn't content with screwing around on you, he had to practically shove it in your face. He's banking on you being spineless and taking him back. Just think of all the unprotected sexual encounters he's had with this girl, and likely others. The bastard continually put your LIFE in danger. Protocol: 1. Leave Jackass 2. Get tested Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 3. Have sex with really hot guy (caveman is a looker), film it and mail it to ex boyfriend... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2nVme Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker Oh, they're both at fault. In case you really need somebody to tell you, dump this assclown. Not only does he have no respect whatsoever for you, but he's also got no class, and thinks he can just talk his way out of it. He wasn't content with screwing around on you, he had to practically shove it in your face. He's banking on you being spineless and taking him back. Just think of all the unprotected sexual encounters he's had with this girl, and likely others. The bastard continually put your LIFE in danger. Protocol: 1. Leave Jackass 2. Get tested Hello everyone... Just getting back to let everybody know what has been going on, I feel as if am sooo weak I still love this man & it's so hard just to let it burn. I don't know how to go on without him. He tells me that he don't want to be without our daughter & that he would never do it again & the only reason why he did it was because I was with another guy but we was broken up when I was with somebody else We have been living together for 3yrs and in those 3yrs I have not played him I only flirt but there is nothing wrong with flirting as long as U don't take it 2 the next level like he did. I'm not sure if I should take him back I just found out 'bout him & this other girl & I know he did leave her I believe him. We have a family 2gether & my child & him are really tight. I really love this man, he told me if I 4give him that he wants to marry me & that he is never going to do that again & that he can't see me with somebody else. I'm really use to everybody in his family & they all love me even his mother, You know what bother's me that he hasn't broken the tape. I don't know if am stupid for loving this man or what??? please tell me what I should do, I mean tell me what you would do in my case please I need some answer!! I feel helpless I talked with my close cousin & she told me... If you are going to give him a chance don't make it easy for him. I don't know what to do please HELP!! thank you everybody 4 reading this. Link to post Share on other sites
KristyAnne Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 My heart goes out to you, as I know how low you feel right now! I had something simular happen to me! I felt very weak and depressed! I had to put myself into therapy which helped a great deal ! Maybe you should look into it! It helps build your self esteem back up.. I believe that he is entirely to blame here. If he loves you soo much another woman should have never came in between the two of you. That was HIS choice. Sure the other woman had part in it but what does she have to lose.. He disrespected you in a very unacceptable way. I know you love him and it is hard, but you have go to make a stand, set boundaries, be strong! If you choose to give him a second chance ask yourself. Are you ever going to be able to have sex with this man again without thoughts of him and that other woman having sex??? Will you ever be able to trust him again? I tried to get back with my ex that cheated on me and as much as I loved him I couldn't have sex with him! Made me sick!! All I could think about was him and that other woman! The trust was gone, when he wasn't with me, I would go crazy wondering what he was doing while he was out. Bottom line is, if he truly loved you, you would have been enough for him that he wouldn't have had to cheat!! He is just sorry he got caught!! Best of luck to you in your decision! Its going to be an emotional road ahead of you whatever you decide! Hang in there and be strong!! Link to post Share on other sites
Starnette83 Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 this is really mest up what your boyfriend did to you, it is disrespectful, rude, mean, sick, dirty, stupid..he has totally screwed up, i dont think u can ever trust him again!!! he has basically back stabbed u big time and even was so insensitive enought ot make a tape about it!! im sorry but u sound like all of us girls who are so in love with our bfs that we always forgive them for the most stupid things that they done, we justifyait and blame someone else for it, like u blaming the girl..this is not her fault, this is HIS fault and it will be ure fault if u get hurt again if u remain with him... im sorry but sooner or later u will break up in my opinion cuz theres no way u can trst him again, i mean it will always be iin back of ure mind, everytime u have sex with him, everytime he leaves the house...is all this torment really worth it? Im sorry, i know u dont wanna hear it, none of us do..i never listened to anyone when they told me to lose my guy...i broke up but it only lasted a few days..but when i was with him i realized i was still miserable cuz i knew he was lying and he had already broken my trust in him....even thugh i still love him, im now apart from him, i realized i have a life ahead of me and i cant keep lying to myself that my ex loved me and would never screw me over... it sux, but u have to pray and be strong, i know inside u know u deserve better, he has done the worst thing a man can do to a woman, and i dont think thats love what he feels for u, cuz love doesnt hurt, love doesnt lie, and if it does then lvoe isnt true Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 What a jerk. He messes around, makes a tape and leaves it where you can find it, and when you find it and get upset he says he wants to marry you. I rarely feel that people should just end a relationship, but I would dump this guy. He seems to have no respect for you. It sounds like he is just manipulating you. Your daughter deserves a better example than the two of you are setting for her. Teach her some self-respect by having some for yourself, and get rid of this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
kittenhead Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 OK-- this is vey said and my heart goes out to you. Would it be possible for you to take some time away--just a week or he leaves so you can get your head on straight? No contact--just a little time for yourself. Did he do this while you were together? Film I mean? If he filmed it before your relationship then this tape has no place in your home--it's just too intimate. He can go buy a porn--or he can make one with you. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Leave him. He is still responsible for his daughter and can still be part of her life, but you don't deserve some jackass whom you will always wonder about. If he was in any way repentent, he would have burned the tape before he ever brought it into your home. He doesn't regret anything except being caught! Link to post Share on other sites
sara1974 Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Girl that is messed up that he did that to you. Im truly am sorry. I don't know what I would do if I were in that situation. I would probley try and cut his d*ck off! I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do.. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 If he was in any way repentent, he would have burned the tape before he ever brought it into your home. He doesn't regret anything except being caught! EXACTLY! It is unfortunate when the man we love does something so unspeakable and unforgivable that WE have to carry the remaining burden. Your better off w/out him. Get him for as much child support as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2nVme Posted June 23, 2004 Author Share Posted June 23, 2004 Thank you to everybody that has reply.... Just writing to keep you guys up 2 date..... I am still stress out I don't know what to think anymore is like my heart tells me 2 forgive him because I know he is sorry. We was talking for a long time last night & he was telling me that he really does love me & that I need to forgive him because he doesn't want our family apart & that he was stupid for doing what he did & that if we get back together... he said doesn't want me to get back at him... like sleep with some other man but am not like that & that we both have to swear that we are not going to do that 2 each other ever again. Ever since he got busted now he realize that he really does love me, well not he shows it more & he wants 2 do things with me & things like that.... Now he just talks 'bout how I did him wrong in the pass, he said "that is what drove him to do this".... Let me explan what I did that he is talking 'bout so you can understand.... wayyyy b-4 I moved in with him, I was dating this guy, I really got to know him & I also liked the way he was with me... My boyfriend & I had broken up so I started to date this guy & we had sex but things didn't work out I was with him for like 3months I really liked him cause he use 2 take me out everywhere ...Things didn't work out soooo I was missing my boyfriend so I called him up & I told him that I had sex with the guy that I was dating & that I wanted him back.... He was crying because he was the 1st guy I ever had sex with & he was hurt because he said that was his dream to marry a girl that only he has had, nobody else .... now he tells me that I F**ked up his dream & whatnot. I was not with my boyfriend, I just had 2 let him know what was going on, I didn't wanna make him think that I was a little angel anyways he still brings that up & now that we have this big problem he brings it up even more when he saw me crying one day he tell me "that is how I felt" . Last night we had sex with a condom & I kept thinking 'bout how he was f**king the other girl & we madeout a lot something we don't do at all!!! so it felt really good to kiss him all over again .... anyways while we was having sex I couldn't stop with that girl so I just stoped & said 2 him how could you!! He started 2 cry to me & I just started to cry... he was telling me that he is very sorry & that he really loves me a lot & that we have to work it out & that he will swear to me that he will never do it again... I mean he sounds like if he really does mean it but it hasn't even been a month since he did the sex tape with this big time hoe. Is like I want to forgive him but I don't know how should I forgive him.... I can't live without him I really do love this man & he said he will swear not to do it again... but then I think 'bout how he is going to think that am going to do it back to him because that is what he is thinkin in his mind that is what he told me PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP I really love this man & I can't live without him.... If I do go back to him how can I do it without it being sooo easy for him, I don't wanna 4give so fast because if I do maybe he will do it again & think I will 4give him & I don't think I can 4give again 4 somebody like this **** My heart is sooo weak right now I don't know what 2 do Link to post Share on other sites
ladyjuliet Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 and post it on the net, or sell it to someone, it will be the most you will get out of this relationship honey, he knew you saw the tape in his pocket, he wanted you to find it....... or try and work it out, but if the only thing that has changed is that you kiss when you **** it is probably not going to make too much of a diference long term .... eek .... not too subtle Link to post Share on other sites
ilovececi Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 None of us can really tell you what to do, simply because we aren't you and we don't know every single little bit of information on the situation. BUT, we can give advice right! We all know how hard love is. If he really does love you, which it doesn't seem like it, then he will have to earn your trust again. You won't be able to trust until he does. Try this- Tell him how bad he's hurt you, and that you don't really know how you feel right now. You need some time. You should be apart for a little while. If he loves you then he will give you time. This is one of the hardest things for a man to do. If he doesn't, then he just feels like he needs you. IT's not love, but if he gives you time, then take him back, and be his girlfriend again, but remember that he has to earn his trust back. Marriage is a long time from now. THere is no relationship without trust and communication! Tell him that, and tell him he'll have to earn your trust again. Remember to make him wait a while when you break up with him! If you take him back a week later, then he hasn't had time to learn his lesson. By breaking up with him, you're giving him time to realize what he's done and how important you really are to him. If he really does love you, then things'll work out! If he ends up being with someone else or continually calls you then he doesn't really love you anyway. He just feels like he needs you. I hate to say this, but the reason I know is because I treated on my girlfriend. I didn't realize what I had and I have no idea why I cheated on her. I'm a F*cking IDIOT!!! I love her sooooooo much and now I'll never be with her again, because she won't take me back. I just hope the guy you are with realizes over the break up how sweet you really are! He's lucky you've haven't booted his ass out of your life. True love never dies! So good luck! Let me know how things worked out! Good luck. Your friend, Derek Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2nVme Posted June 25, 2004 Author Share Posted June 25, 2004 Hello everyone I couldn't forgive, I broke up with him today & I'm moving next wk, I guess we are going to live together for 1wk then after that it's over. I just can't believe that it's really over with us, he was the 1st guy I ever had sex with, I been with him since I was 16yrs old, am 25yrs old now & he is 31yrs old. I think he is not the one 4 me, somebody that really loves you I don't think they would be able to kiss, sleep, f**k, lick the pussy up if they really love you. He did everything to hurt this relationship, I'm just more sad because my daughter is going to be like me... her father not living with her, it's not the same when you don't live 2gether. I wish he would of never played me, we would of still been together, I been really thinking 'bout it & in my heart I feel as if it is over with us. Thank you everybody 4 the great advice.... If you have any advice on how I can move on with my life & my daughter, being a single mom, i'm sooo scared of that, but here I am & see a lot of woman do it, but am still scared. Link to post Share on other sites
amanda25 Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 It takes two...Its him as well as her...First I would find out how many more tapes are out there with him and women having sex, although he may lie about that too,go to the doctor and get tested for diseases,kick his a** to the curb,kick her a** for messing with him, when she KNEW he had a girlfriend, and then start over...Move on, enjoy life, and find a REAL man who wouldn't do this to you... OR give him another chance, but wait to get married until YOU are 110% ready (trust and all).... Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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