Disappointment

[kiey]

I've been with my boyfriend for four years, but he's starting to do things that really suprise me. On New Year's Eve, he informed me that he would not be spending New Years with me, instead with his friend who never calls unless his girlfriend is busy. This would have been the second time he would spend New Years with someone else. The first time he spent it with a girl that had feelings with him after he took me home at one o'clock that morning. This was the first time he basically stayed the night out with another girl. The second was intentional and I honestly think he slept with the second, Danielle, but I have no proof, because he'd been having problems with his gall bladder and so called took medicine to ease the pain. A little shot of Danielle is what I think. Anyway, I told him how I felt, and of course, he stayed with me, but I don't think I should have to even discuss that. On top of this, I know this may seem petty, but on his web page, after he proudly showed me his new creation, he listed his marital status as "single and looking". This puzzles me, because I thought we were getting married next year. What should I do with him? We've been together too long to let things go that easily, but I won't compete with anyone, and I feel this piece of a relationship slipping away. Please, help. I am extremely disappointed.

[Christie]

That just sucks!!! I can see why you are disappointed.

 

How could he want to spend such a precious and important holiday with someone else?

 

And also, why would he write his marital status on his web page in the first place?

 

I think he's BAD NEWS. Even though you have dated him for 4 years, you seem like you don't know this guy. Honesty and trust is what you should feel when you are considering marrying this person. It doesn't seem like you have either one of these qualities.

 

He's either clueless of his actions, or just taking you for granted. You should show him that you DO have the potential of leaving him if he doesn't act straight. It's a very important issue and you should not let him get away with stuff like that. I recommend a book called "How to make your man behave in 21 days" written by Karen Salmansohn. It might offend men, but it's a relationship advice book through a dog trainer's point of view. It's hilarious but at the same time very real and wise.

[V]

Four years is a long time, and your right I don't think you should let him go so easily, but if your heart and mind feel as though he is slipping away you guys should have a serious talk. Ask him to be honest with you and tell him you deserve the truth. If he is getting scared because of the upcoming marriage or if he wants to get out there and see if the grass is greener on the other side (which it's not)than let him do it. It just sounds like a serious conversation is in order. You guys have to share something special to still be together after four years. It also sounds like he takes you for granted sometimes. Try a trial separation or ask for some time apart and see if that helps. I am currently trying to do the same thing with the guy I involve myself with. I hope everything works out for you and you'll be happy no matter how things work out. I don't know if this can help, but it's what I would do.