How do I know if my girlfriend is actually cheating on me?

[Johnny7452]

Hello, i'm new at this so i hope i dont make an ass out of myself.....

 

My girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year now and lately i've been getting the destinct impression that she is cheating on me. The first time i thought that she was cheating on me was when I saw her at work talking to this guy, but they seemed a little too close to each other just to be talking...(if you know what i mean), i got really jealous, said "i gotta go, I'll see you later." to my girlfriend, and drove in a frenzy to my brother (who is my guide!!!)and told him this. He does not like Michelle (my girlfriend), but he said something doesn't seem right, it doesnt sound like her...go talk to her about this...so i did. Michelle got extremely defensive, angry, and short tempered with me, and i checked both of their stories out. They both told the same stories, so i dropped it.

 

About a week ago, after a mind altering love-making session, i got out of bed and found her on the computer chatting to a "friend". We have argued about this so called "friend" as when i picked up her phone once the other line said, "so did you get the underwear and the tickets?" (i did not drop that issue, and she said that she would stop talking to him if it would keep us together because she said she loves me) So i catch her talking to this friend and i say playfully, OOOOOOO who is this!!, hmmmmmmm!!!!! At this point michelle was kissing my cheek and trying to divert my attention away from the computer, and then i read, "so are you comming this time?" the responce was "yea". i got a little frustraded and began to talk to her about this, and she said that she wanted to go and that plans were not totally set in stone, but because i like climbing she wanted to go and climb out where he lived (seattle, washington).

 

Im worried, i wont lie (actually, im really upset). I love her but i cant go on like this...am i being psyco, or is this actually happening? I have done everything in my power to please her in every respect, be there for her, spend time talking to her, making sure her needs are meet and then more..........EVERYTHING! But this is tearing me up, and any time i ask her to talk with me about this, she gets so defensive, and annoyed at me that there is no point, as it ends up with her in tears............

 

so will someone please help me solve this problem.......please.......!!!!!

 

Jonathan

[netman]

Johnny, something's definitely not smelling right. She's being very disrespectful with her lies and deceit. Sounds to me like she's walking all over you, and because of this loss of innocence you're not sure how to react. I've been there before.

 

Remember this rule Johnny, it's not what a woman says, it's what she does that matters. She could tell you all day that she loves you and that she wouldn't ever lie to you, but realistically she's just calming you down while she's having her cake and eating it too, and you're letter her.

 

Maybe this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I don't think she respects you enough to deserve this relationship. You sound like a great guy, but you need to stand up for yourself. You should never accuse anyone of anything without hard core proof, but look at what she did. You guys make love; next thing she's out the bed IM'ing with this other guy about going rock climbing. And the phone call from the guy talking about underwear and tickets. Sounds fishy... She didn't even tell you about the rock climbing thing, you had to catch her in the IM act. It's not like she was even trying to hide it that bad; you found her IM'ing him, so even more of a case of her lack of respect for you.

 

You should talk to her and get all things out in the open. If she wants to live that life of rock climbing with other guys and stuff, then let her go. Don't ever be afraid to lose a relationship. Your fear of losing a relationship can be your downfall on the road to unhappiness. You'll be stuck in relationship hell with a girl that knows that she can do anything she wants because she knows that you will never leave her. How much more can you take?

[DazednConfused]

Johnny,

 

I think she's cheating. Go out and spend $30 on a keystroke monitoring program for the proof you need, and then make decisions from there. You do not deserve what she is doing to you.

[dyermaker]

Do not invade her privacy as the above poster mentioned.

 

Whether she's cheating or not, the effects are the same.

 

Tell her that you can't continue with someone you feel is being dishonest, and the relationship is over.

[eden]

of course she is cheating on you, you already know that, you heard the conversation get rid of her.

[Fritz]

Well, there has to be a free keylogging program out there instead of a $30 one but yeah why bother with that when it seems like she sure doesn't care much about your feelings and sure is hiding suspicious things a lot.