"There Is Nothing Wrong With You": For the Single Ladies

[verhrzn]

Too much analysis is displayed in the OP's link.

 

Single women (and men) are so for the following reasons IMO:

 

- too ugly. Yes, looks are not everything or the only factor in dating but everyone and their grandma knows it's an advantage

 

- poor personality. Personality IMO is subjective, but if a person is too negative, hot-headed, or has some other bad quality, this may put people off

 

- Life situation. What I mean by that is (as an example) if a person has an excessive number of children, is very sick (not a manageable disease, but one that's communicable or even lethal/fatal), or has a very low income, these factors can dissuade

 

- Bad luck. Some simply choose bad partners, and have generally good qualities.

 

- Personal shortcomings/insecurities. It could be being too shy, not being able to read people well, not feeling one is good enough, etc.

 

It's unPC to say, but I feel most who have problems getting dates/relationships fall into the above categories.

 

Odd, when I say the exact same thing on this forum about myself (that I'm ugly, which is why guys won't go for me), I get screamed at about how wrong I am, and that there's really nothing wrong with me short of confidence.

 

Which is why I liked this article. Because I am sick of death of men telling me there's nothing wrong with me, I don't have it nearly as hard as them, women totally have the upper hand, blah blah, and then turning around and telling me all the ways I don't live up to their expectations.

 

Sometimes people are just single because they just happen to be single. It's an idea I'm trying hard to embrace. If you find this too PC, feel free to find another thread.

[TheBigQuestion]

This article essentially does what the resident LS beta-males do on a regular basis: shift an inordinate amount of blame on their own dating woes on society and/or the opposite sex.

 

It's not men's fault they don't want to date you, it's not the patriarchy's fault, it's not anyone's fault but your own and your unique situation.

 

Beyond that, transcending negative societal messages via the media and other means is a very important part of growing up. This woman sounds like she never got the memo for that.

 

In conclusion, the article is complete hogwash. I'm actually impressed with how many female posters are disagreeing with both its tone and its message, since this is essentially a pathetic nice-guy rant written by a woman.

[joystickd]

http://www.politifake.org/image/political/1106/feminism-feminism-politics-1308861200.jpg

 

At the end of the day men and women are single often by their own doing. There is someone out there for everyone. Until the bitter single people realize it then their situation wont change

[joystickd]

Odd, when I say the exact same thing on this forum about myself (that I'm ugly, which is why guys won't go for me), I get screamed at about how wrong I am, and that there's really nothing wrong with me short of confidence.

 

Which is why I liked this article. Because I am sick of death of men telling me there's nothing wrong with me, I don't have it nearly as hard as them, women totally have the upper hand, blah blah, and then turning around and telling me all the ways I don't live up to their expectations.

 

Sometimes people are just single because they just happen to be single. It's an idea I'm trying hard to embrace. If you find this too PC, feel free to find another thread.

You lets some losers tell you that you don't live up to their expectations and you let that bother you damn. Its your attitude but you love the whining and complaining about men because its a whole lot easier than working on you

[TheBigQuestion]

Or they simply have low dating value.

 

Dating value is holistic, but some are more desired than others. A wealthy, good looking, financially stable, good career, etc. has more dating value than somebody who has no job, is a single parent with multiple children, and looks like a pig.

 

I think anything thing is that due to our popular culture, we're told it's good to be in continual relationships. Seeking closeness is normal, but maybe we as a society should say that dating/sex is not the entirety of life. It's not needed wholly to be happy.

 

I disagree. For at least the last decade or so, society has been telling people that delaying marriage and having short-term, sexually-based relationships is the way to go. Serial monogamy is emphasized at times as well, but not as much as a promiscuous sex life.

[verhrzn]

You lets some losers tell you that you don't live up to their expectations and you let that bother you damn. Its your attitude but you love the whining and complaining about men because its a whole lot easier than working on you

 

This article was supposed to be me working on me... ya know, not letting men and their expectations get me down? That there is nothing wrong with me, that my single hood does not define my success as a person? That being single does not automatically mean I "need work".

 

... But apparently that's too heavy of a concept for the LS whiner boys, so it's back to blaming feminism and taring single women. Glad to see that any attempt of positivity on my part is immediately shredded by the likes of all of you. Way to confirm my expectations.

[joystickd]

This article was supposed to be me working on me... ya know, not letting men and their expectations get me down? That there is nothing wrong with me, that my single hood does not define my success as a person? That being single does not automatically mean I "need work".

 

... But apparently that's too heavy of a concept for the LS whiner boys, so it's back to blaming feminism and taring single women. Glad to see that any attempt of positivity on my part is immediately shredded by the likes of all of you. Way to confirm my expectations.

I tar the whiny single men too. The ones that whine about feminism are funny. They are so mangina-like that its crazy. Damn I made a new adjective

[verhrzn]

I tar the whiny single men too. The ones that whine about feminism are funny. They are so mangina-like that its crazy. Damn I made a new adjective

 

... Except you posted a picture directly linking feminism with being ugly.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

This article was supposed to be me working on me... ya know, not letting men and their expectations get me down? That there is nothing wrong with me, that my single hood does not define my success as a person? That being single does not automatically mean I "need work".

 

... But apparently that's too heavy of a concept for the LS whiner boys, so it's back to blaming feminism and taring single women. Glad to see that any attempt of positivity on my part is immediately shredded by the likes of all of you. Way to confirm my expectations.

 

Yeah, I don't get the guys that are complaining. The article clearly is saying that regular guys like regular women and that women should stop placing so much pressure on themselves to be perfect because there are men out there that will like you...not sure why that's such an awful concept.

[joystickd]

... Except you posted a picture directly linking feminism with being ugly.

joke I was planning on posting this too. http://nickispies.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/patriarchy14.jpg

 

You are impatient. You are already losing points with me due to your impatience lol.

[verhrzn]

You are impatient. You are already losing points with me due to your impatience lol.

 

... How ironic to post that comment in a thread all about how single women need to stop judging their value based on how men view them.

 

Tell me you see the irony?

[joystickd]

This article was supposed to be me working on me... ya know, not letting men and their expectations get me down? That there is nothing wrong with me, that my single hood does not define my success as a person? That being single does not automatically mean I "need work".

 

... But apparently that's too heavy of a concept for the LS whiner boys, so it's back to blaming feminism and taring single women. Glad to see that any attempt of positivity on my part is immediately shredded by the likes of all of you. Way to confirm my expectations.

I actually bench press that concept. I was in agreement somewhat with the article. Everyone can use some improvement including me. I'm just a cold blooded ********* sometimes. I am working on joining the rest of you mammals lol.

 

I will say don't let the bulls**t get you down.

[TheBigQuestion]

This article was supposed to be me working on me... ya know, not letting men and their expectations get me down? That there is nothing wrong with me, that my single hood does not define my success as a person? That being single does not automatically mean I "need work".

 

... But apparently that's too heavy of a concept for the LS whiner boys, so it's back to blaming feminism and taring single women. Glad to see that any attempt of positivity on my part is immediately shredded by the likes of all of you. Way to confirm my expectations.

 

That article wasn't "positive." It was the same whiney hogwash propagated by LS beta males who can't get dates and try to shift blame to the opposite gender and/or society for it. Why would you expect a different reaction from sensible people in this thread?

[verhrzn]

That article wasn't "positive." It was the same whiney hogwash propagated by LS beta males who can't get dates and try to shift blame to the opposite gender and/or society for it. Why would you expect a different reaction from sensible people in this thread?

 

Because "sensible people" are constantly begging me to be more positive on this forum.

 

And the article IS positive in one way... I can finally stop internalizing all of the nasty, hateful, shallow, awful things men have said about my looks and my body, and realize it's not my fault, it's theirs. It's theirs, and society's view of how women should be. I don't deserve their insults, I don't deserve their mockery or their vindictiveness, and I don't have to live to impress men.

 

In that way, the article is a BIG positive.

[jobaba]

Don't judge a book by its cover. I've faced various types of marginalization and hardship in my life, and my image has gone from bookish shy girl to stylish, well-to-do business owner within months. My character hasn't changed.

 

Also, I find most of my shiny-looking male counterparts to be spoiled and boring. But the scrappy guys with a lot of heart and something to strive for make me swoon.

 

Arrogance has nothing to do with dress and presentation. I myself wear expensive clothes and spend up to $40 for a haircut. You can dress to the nines and still be humble.

 

I just prefer a woman with some self doubt. I've never been attracted to the popular prom queen type. I like a woman who doesn't think she's beautiful even if she might be.

[verhrzn]

I'm a "beta" for pointing out that verhrzn is doing is the same as what posters like SD81 do? Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense.

 

Yes, instead I should sit here and cry about how I'm too ugly to get guys to want to date me, and how my life is empty without a relationship. That's a MUCH better coping mechanism.

[TheBigQuestion]

Yes, instead I should sit here and cry about how I'm too ugly to get guys to want to date me, and how my life is empty without a relationship. That's a MUCH better coping mechanism.

 

There are ways to achieve self-improvement that don't involve shifting blame on society and/or the opposite gender. The latter is where you have much in common with every resident LS beta male.

[verhrzn]

There are ways to achieve self-improvement that don't involve shifting blame on society and/or the opposite gender. The latter is where you have much in common with every resident LS beta male.

 

Except I've done all of those things and still not gotta anywhere with guys, unlike the "LS beta male." I've approached, I've worn make-up and attractive clothes, I work out, I eat well, blah blah blah, and it's STILL not enough.

 

At some point, it's worthless to blame yourself when you ARE doing everything right.

[joystickd]

Except I've done all of those things and still not gotta anywhere with guys, unlike the "LS beta male." I've approached, I've worn make-up and attractive clothes, I work out, I eat well, blah blah blah, and it's STILL not enough.

 

At some point, it's worthless to blame yourself when you ARE doing everything right.

At this point I think you are just concentrating your energy to a small subset of men and this is where the disappointment comes from. It applies to men and women too.

[verhrzn]

At this point I think you are just concentrating your energy to a small subset of men and this is where the disappointment comes from. It applies to men and women too.

 

Small?? If dozens of bars, a handful of cons, and an entire online community of a big city is considered "small," then yeah, sure.

[TheBigQuestion]

Small?? If dozens of bars, a handful of cons, and an entire online community of a big city is considered "small," then yeah, sure.

 

Haven't many posters here told you to stop dating nerds? Nerds have comprised the bulk of your dating experiences, no?

 

They are usually very problematic people. Why not try dating guys who have alpha hobbies? Or try dating the more cerebral/educated nerds rather than the sloppy, basement-dwelling, con-going, cheeto-dust-covered variety?

[verhrzn]

Haven't many posters here told you to stop dating nerds? Nerds have comprised the bulk of your dating experiences, no?

 

They are usually very problematic people. Why not try dating guys who have alpha hobbies? Or try dating the more cerebral/educated nerds rather than the sloppy, basement-dwelling, con-going, cheeto-dust-covered variety?

 

Because they won't date me.

[joystickd]

Small?? If dozens of bars, a handful of cons, and an entire online community of a big city is considered "small," then yeah, sure.

Honestly you want anything of some substance from a guy you will have a better chance not doing the online stuff but that depends on the site. Online is a hell of a lot more superficial that real life and most of the guys will focus on the same subset of women. What you think are your best qualities?

[joystickd]

Because they won't date me.

I will say this there is no memo to every guy of that type saying don't date her.

[verhrzn]

Honestly you want anything of some substance from a guy you will have a better chance not doing the online stuff but that depends on the site. Online is a hell of a lot more superficial that real life and most of the guys will focus on the same subset of women. What you think are your best qualities?

 

As I said in the previous thread, sarcasm and BJ's.

 

How about instead of diagnosing what is wrong with me, and why I'm chasing ALL the boys away, we just focus on the article... which is that just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm either awful, pathetic, or in some way "wrong," and my worth should not center around being attractive to men.