confused5729 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 So here is my story (i am girl) 18 months ago a male colleague and i started the whole flirting at work etc and came very close to hooking up at a party. he was keen, but i didn't want to make out with him at work function because i like to keep work and private life separate etc. a month after the party i moved away for a year but we sort of kept in contact (once every 3 months sorta thing) on fb. I moved back to town 6 months ago, but he was dating someone and they broke up a couple of weeks ago. he's shown interest and messaged me wanting to hang out etc which i was a bit unsure about, but now I'm sure. I haven't stopped thinking about what could have happened for the last 18 months and I'm pretty keen to find out now. my only problem, I'm going away in 2 weeks for 2 months and then coming back, so i want to get something started before then to come back to, but I'm also a virgin so unsure if i want to move things along that fast. i don't really want to be bothered doing 'dates' as such, just really want to see him and have a couple of drinks and see if the chemistry is still there. what's the best way to arrange this and subsequent hookups without seeming slutty or skanky? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 could I ask - how old are you? What takes you away from home for such long periods? Is it work? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused5729 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 21. The first year away, I had to work in a regional area for a year as part of my contract, these 2 months coming up one month I am going to a different regional area for work the other month will be spent overseas with maybe 2-3 weeks at the regional area again before i return to the city Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Then just tell him that. you'd love to get together for a drink, and see where things go.... There's no obligation to have sex with anyone to 'guarantee' a relationship. All sex guarantees - is that you had sex. you need to develop a bit more confidence in yourself, and not think that the way to establish a relationship is to have some form of physical contact.... Just get in touch, arrange a drink or a bite to eat, maybe - during lunchtime, not evening.... spend the afternoon together, and discuss your going away. He may be available, he may not. trust me honey, please - at your age, it's really no big deal.... you're young, and it looks like you have a great job. Don't get too distracted.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused5729 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 Mmmm he has made his interest known.... I don't really have time nor particularly want a relationship with him.... Would prefer something casual and fun before it got serious.... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 OK, then simply ask yourself this: do I want a colleague, I work with, to be the one to take my virginity? if the answer's 'no' then just drop it, because if you just want friendship - heck, you work with the guy, you can focus on that once you get back! Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused5729 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 he stopped being a colleague 18 months ago Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Oh good grief.... ok..... is he the guy you can see yourself loosing your virginity to? is that what you are working towards? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused5729 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 good grief. what part of I've been thinking about him for 18 months. the question was how do i let him no I'm keen without seeming slutty. you havnt helped. stop being judgement i can have sex with hueva i want. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 no, read my posts again... and read your first question. you want to let him know you're keen, but you mentioned the possibility of sex first, not me. but I'm also a virgin so unsure if i want to move things along that fast. i told you - just ask him out for a casual date, and see how things unfold. Just get in touch, arrange a drink or a bite to eat, maybe - during lunchtime, not evening.... spend the afternoon together, and discuss your going away. He may be available, he may not. what am I not getting here...? Link to post Share on other sites
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