Buzzybee33 Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 My wife and I got married almost 2 months ago and we were happy and in love (or so I thought). A few weeks ago she told me about this new male "friend" she had met while at her girl friends house. He invited her to brunch the next day and i told her that i thought it was a bit strange but didnt really think too much of it. So anyway she hangs out with this guy all day and then texts me that afternoon to say they are going to the movies together but that she'd be back in the evening for dinner. Later that evening she texted again to say that she was gonna go to his place and watch sum more movies which i found a little odd again, and told her that id like her to come home as i had already prepared dinner but she never replied until the next morning when she claimed she had simply fallen asleep on the couch. She came home around 8 am. (I can now confirm they had sex that night but didnt know at the time). This continued for about a week, with me telling her to stop seeing him and her insisting they were just friends. She wouldnt stop but in fact went on a weekend away with "just some friends" which of course included this other man who bought her a tattoo during the weekend. I protested but she went anyway. Upon her return I confronted her and said she needed to cease contact with him. She agreed and went to see him to break it off, so to speak. However they just ended up hanging out for the whole day and when she came home she sat me down and confessed that she had been sleeping with him but said she was so sorry and begged me not to leave. I was of course incredibly hurt and and very angry. A week later she was surprised that i still hadnt gotten over it (seriously). Were currently on a break as I needed some time away from her to decide what I want to do. When she calls me she tries to act like nothing happened and that all is well but the truth is far from it. Ive taken down all our wedding photos and feel no motivation to reconcile our relationship. To me cheating is a dealbreaker, especially so early on, and i cant see myself getting over it. One of the main reasons for this is that she still hasnt ceased contact with him at all, he claims to be in love with her, and she cant decide who she really wants to be with. Im obviously nothing more than security or a "fall back" for this woman who I used to know. I just want out. What are your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Wanderer25 Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Annulment, expose to family and kick her ass to the curb . 8 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Agree with the above. You two have to divorce, 2 months into the marriage and she's cheated already! Obviously she's immature and wasn't ready to be your wife or understand her vows. Link to post Share on other sites
crazylove Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Wow, that really is unbelievable!! I'm not sure that your marriage can be salvaged, or whether you should actually. I mean, what sort of person does that to their partner?? Serously, annulment sounds like a very good option to me, I couldn't live with that level of disrespect. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 I am so sorry to hear of your situation. That is absolutely terrible. When you do find someone that respects you and share your life with you that isn't so ridiculously impulsive, narcissistic and selfish you will see even clearer how truly awful she has been to you. Good lord! One month! Run, run for the hills! I had a friend that did this at two years and I found that to be shocking and more than appalling. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Concur with the others; get out while you can, the relationship is relatively young, and the wounds aren't as deep... Link to post Share on other sites
Bellechica Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Sounds like she doesn't want to be married. Three months in??? That's honeymoon phase and good stuff. Move on sir, and sorry it didn't work out. You're young. You'll find someone who loves you. Link to post Share on other sites
Looknfoward Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Just get out now! I sometimes think back and guess there were plenty of signs that someone will cheat and lie. I chose to ignore them because I thought that I can love hard enough for her to never cheat. Well five years and a daughter later she had her affair. You're lucky she is giving you a clear indication that you need to move on. She might beg and plead you to stay, but you need to realize a lot of WS do this, to make themselves feel less guilty of what they have done. Trust me, leave and be strong. Don't fall for her lines and sorrys. If she notices that you are serious about leaving and she gets bored with OM she will want you back don't be the safety net or the second choice. If she moves on with OM, be thankful you dodged a bullet and didn't waste years of your life waiting for her to love you back. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 See a lawyer and get out! She trying to rug sweep this whole thing and yet told you she can't decide who she wants? Well, you decide for her. BYE!!!! Expose to everyone whats going on before she has a chance to tell her lies and making you out to be the bad guy for kicking her to the curb "so early in our marriage". Link to post Share on other sites
Bellechica Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 You have no children that require you to make the M work.....you're young. Start a new life. Link to post Share on other sites
Wanderer25 Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 bella, would you leave the marriage if not for the kids? Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 No brainer Link to post Share on other sites
Bellechica Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Wanderer, maybe but my H is a great friend. I think we will rebuild. I wouldn't just dump him if I didn't have kids. Oh, I can pm now. Yes, Alice, I'm aware of boundary issues. I'm watching it okay? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 one month into the marriage? doesn't bode well. she couldn't even keep her legs closed for that long. DIVORCE! Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Why would you even wanna talk to her---you have been married one month, and she has spent more time with him than you-----you should be able to get an annulment-----as a parting gift---you should give her a definition of mge., and explain to her what vows mean-------don't even see her again---she certainly has no feelings for you!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
indian_couples Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 I guess in your case it's already decided. She wants out. She calls on you only to know that you are doing okay. The best you can do is to enjoy your newly found freedom. Find a new girl and hang around with your friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 I hate to sound skeptical, but this sounds awfully "created." Like someone is bored and has an urge to post fiction. I'm not even sure why you'd need to post a question like this after two months of marriage. Seems rather self explanatory. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 How is it that someone can go out to the movies, then go out for dinner and then spend the night with some bloke and then lie about it... How is it that you are still wondering what to do in this case? Didn't she tell you that she is unable to choose right now? It must be devastating. If this is what went down, OP, then it is quite clear that you two should not be married. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Bail. Seriously. If your wife is conflicted and cheating a month into the marriage, it only proves the future with her is very grim. She drove a bus over you just a few weeks after saying her wedding vows. That's pretty sick and an indication that she is not worthy to be your emotional and financial partner in life. Too many good women out there to put up with her BS. Don't waste your life trying to repair a broken person. Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 I hate to sound skeptical, but this sounds awfully "created." Like someone is bored and has an urge to post fiction. I'm not even sure why you'd need to post a question like this after two months of marriage. Seems rather self explanatory. I agree. -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 well, i'm not the troll police. at any rate, i don't give long-winded examinations, so i don't really lose sleep over it. i think it bothers those who put a lot of effort into their responses, only to sniff out a troll in the end. sometimes, less is more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 What are your thoughts? That she doesn't deserve you. That you are spot on the money about her cheating. That you should have set more clear boundaries in the beginning. That you need to consult a lawyer immediately and try to get an annulement (so she won't take any of your $). That when she gets her divorce papers, she will be very sweet to you and try to have sex with you ... don't do it unless you want to add a baby to all this crap. That you need to expose what she is doing to the ppl she knows. That if the courts allow, you should try to get a divorce on grounds of adultery (a fault divorce). That if you live in an US state where you can do this, you should sue the guy for alienation of affection. (to really hurt them) That this was coming somewhat, so try to learn what the signs were ... gain valuable insight for the future. That you need to NOT THREATEN with divorce, you will just give her time to get her ducks in a row. Just give her the papers. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Why is the OP even thinking about this? An immediate annulement is the answer. Shouldn't the first few months to a year of marriage be the happy honey phrase where you're completely crazily in love with your husband/wife that you're not even thinking about someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 We've seen quite a number of these somewhat unrealistic postings and then the OP disappears for good. Any normal OP is going to be sticking around seeking out advice if they take the time to post. This one has been gone three days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 It never ceases to amaze me what tools some guys are. Grow a pair, stand up for yourself, and file for D. Link to post Share on other sites
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