inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Hey guys I'm new here. I've been having some problems with being snubbed with girls and I never seem to get asked out. It's not that I do want to get asked out (I don't want a bf at the moment) , it just seems like I'm an unlikeable/unapproachable person. I'd like to know that someone would want to be friends with me/approach me. It's kind of driving my self esteem down. I'm also really shy and soft spoken, (I think I have social anxiety disorder) and I think this might have something to do with it. I know I'm not ugly, somewhat decent looking, and I'm also very sweet once someone gets to know me. I've discussed this problem with my closest friends, they tell me that there's nothing wrong with me...but i think they're horribly biased lol. so i guess my question is: what could I be doing so wrong that it's driving people away from me?
Ross MwcFan Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Your social anxiey (if you have it) could be making you come across as unapproachable. As it makes our body language more 'closed' and therefore makes us less likeable, instead of open, inviting and interesting.
darkmoon Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 "I'm also really shy and soft spoken, (I think I have social anxiety disorder) and I think this might have something to do with it." whatever you call your state of play (social anxiety) i hope you don't think about it too much no point, either get counselling or just chat away - but smile while you do it - some ppl stay in touch some don't
Author inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 Thanks for the reply! I think that might be it, mostly. It's just that as soon as I get to know a girl, they'll start to avoid me. I just don't get it...
Author inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 I've actually had gotten group counseling at school...it's helped a little, i'm going back this summer. also i've noticed that guys stare at me but they never approach me. they just look away once i catch them staring. people are so weird. :/
darkmoon Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 (edited) have a look in the mirror, make sure you look ok, which i suppose you do, you might be competition, i have not met you but some girls do not want a pretty friend and an instant snub follows, all's fair in love and war, that could be why as for men staring but doing nothing more, you must at least smile and wave to show availability - what are men supposed to do? - come to talk to you while you offer no encouragement? Edited April 27, 2012 by darkmoon
Ross MwcFan Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 I've actually had gotten group counseling at school...it's helped a little, i'm going back this summer. also i've noticed that guys stare at me but they never approach me. they just look away once i catch them staring. people are so weird. :/ It probably means they fancy you.
Author inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 I look okay. I'm of south asian descent and that's not exactly the "beauty ideal" here. i don't think i'm pretty enough to get that sort of "hate" from girls. maybe i am. i guess it depends on your preferences. i just find it strange that other girls have guys approaching them all the time without doing anything, while if i look at a guy while they stare at me they look away really quickly and don't do anything. that's the way it's always been for me. i feel like i'm complaining a lot...i know, but i really want to get to the bottom of this.
Ross MwcFan Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 I look okay. I'm of south asian descent and that's not exactly the "beauty ideal" here. i don't think i'm pretty enough to get that sort of "hate" from girls. maybe i am. i guess it depends on your preferences. i just find it strange that other girls have guys approaching them all the time without doing anything, while if i look at a guy while they stare at me they look away really quickly and don't do anything. that's the way it's always been for me. i feel like i'm complaining a lot...i know, but i really want to get to the bottom of this. Could you show us a pic of yourself?
Author inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 http://i1052.photobucket.com/albums/s447/taintedpassion/IMG0037.jpg
Author inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 sorry about the serious face. hahah. i should have chosen a different picture
Ross MwcFan Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 You look very attractive, so it can't be your looks.
darkmoon Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 you are very good-looking, full lips and big eyes and long hair, but there is something on my mind, you look virginal innocent, which is no bad thing, men will be aware that you are not excatly looking for the opposite sex unless you dress up, i didn't make these rules, some would accuse me of being wrong, but i bet a date is only as far away as the nearest mini-skirt you can put on
Ross MwcFan Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 you are very good-looking, full lips and big eyes and long hair, but there is something on my mind, you look virginal innocent, which is no bad thing, men will be aware that you are not excatly looking for the opposite sex unless you dress up, i didn't make these rules, some would accuse me of being wrong, but i bet a date is only as far away as the nearest mini-skirt you can put on I think that's just because she looks very young. To guys her own age she probably doesn't come across like that.
Author inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 now to figure out how to delete the picture :/ lol. but the "innocent" thing is very interesting....i don't know what to think about that. i think i'm going to keep dressing modestly though the right guys will come around right?
Author inaya_night Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 Thanks for the advice guys. i still don't get it lol...but thanks i appreciate it!
Recommended Posts