A tale of 4 people

[illsaveyou]

Mine is a fairly complicated situation so this post is going to be quite long.

There are a total of 4 people involved. X is the girl I like, Y is her current boyfriend, Z is her ex and then there's me. Some background information: X, Y and I are in the same college. Y and I are leaving this year (in a few days in fact). X still has some time left in college. Y and I used to know each other (not like "friends"), but we haven't spoken much for the past 2 years. So I'll tell you how I "met" X. I'm facebook friends with both Y and X. At the time I friended X we hadn't spoken a single word to each other. That was years ago and even then I thought X was "cute" but never "felt" anything. Then 2 months ago, we started a chat late at night almost by "accident"... it was about some comment I made on a post. However, something clicked and we chatted through the night... for nearly 5 hours, like we had known each other for years. I was really happy after the chat because I always felt I never had any friends and this changed that. We talked about many things including music, philosophy, movies and other general stuff. We also told each other about what we felt were our personality problems, and we boosted each other's morale. She complimented me on my looks when I said I was feeling insecure about certain things.

 

Ever since this chat, we've been in touch only through the internet. We chatted almost every other day or once every 3 days. Initially it was all general stuff but I think we started getting "close" 2-3 weeks in. Then one night, she chooses to initiate a chat a few hours after midnight and this goes on really long. Another 5 hour long chat. This time, the tone was very personal. I felt it was flirtatious and I think there was a "connection". There were a lot of ":)" , ":(", ":D" and ":P" emoticons flying around. Unlike our very first chat, this one lacked structure. We talked about many things including past memories, feeling empty inside and how music helps, fear of growing old, books, movies, forceps (don't ask me how/why) etc. It was now that she chose to reveal to me that she had been through a very bad breakup around a year ago, because her ex was unfaithful. That relationship was mostly long distance and lasted around 5 years. She says she still feels hurt about it. Also, I've got a job, but I haven't yet been given my location. There are three possible cities A,B and C out of which A is the city where our college is located. I told her that I haven't yet gotten my location to which she replied "Dont go to B!" and then I said "It's either A or C" and she said "A it is! :)". Now this to me sounded like she wanted me around in the same city. I also got "that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said".

 

That was 3 weeks ago. By now I felt quite close to her and thought she might feel the same. After that, we never had quite such a long chat again, just regular short ones. In one of these I casually asked her who her friends in college were. While listing out her friends, she mentioned she was dating Y. I was a little surprised/shocked and I asked her whether they were still dating. She said "We just started.... 4 months" and said they were "dating, but I've not got into the relationship" whatever that means. She said she was "thinking" about it. This is a little complicated because when college ends, Y will leave the city and then the country. So if it continues, it will be a long distance relationship and X already told me she thinks those don't work (especially after the fiasco with her ex (Z)). She said she thought I knew because it was assumed that Y and I were friendly, but this was not the case. The reason this was very confusing was because she chose to be quite friendly with me and she opened up emotionally, but she never mentioned much about Y at all (like "Y was so nice to me today"... or "I'm happy" with Y). In fact more than Y, it seemed the painful memories of Z were what she chose to talk about.

 

A few days after this, we had another fairly long chat (but not late at night) in which she started to tell me everything that Z had done, how he had cheated on her with other girls. We then had a rational discussion on why men behave in certain ways, and why woman behave in certain other ways. It turned really personal and we both asked each other if we felt awkward talking about this. After all this I was feeling really confused about her feelings towards me. Was she not that close with Y and was she trying to get closer to me? She also asked me a few times if my work location had been confirmed to A (it still hasnt btw). Then around 2 weeks ago, I saw X and Y hanging out late at night, talking. To be honest I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. A few days later, I saw them again. So far we had been initiating chats fairly equally. But after this day, she didn't send me anything for nearly a week. I did try to say hi in between but somehow she acted quite cold and the chat was over in a few minutes. I waited for a few more days for her to say something and then I finally said hi today. I said "you didn't say hi for a long time... is everything alright?" and she said "yes :)". After that she chose to ask me when I was leaving and once AGAIN asked me "Is your work location fixed to A?." she also said "Why are they delaying so much!!?". This had me confused once again. I then managed to ask her if she felt sad that Y was leaving and she said it hadnt sunk in. On further questioning I found out that they had decided to give a long distance relationship a shot. She also said it would be quite "difficult" but "there will be no way to know unless we try" . After that I saw them hanging out again today.

 

Now I have only a few days left before I leave and I'm afraid I've really fallen for this girl... What could possibly be in her mind? Supposing my work location turns out to be A, do I have a shot at this? I really like her and she's helped me become a better, more social person. Is it possible Y is caught in a rebound relationship? I haven't yet talked much to X in person although I recently managed to bump into her while rushing to an exam. We both smiled and said hi, and after she said hi, she put her head down while still continuing to smile and then we crossed each other. Does this smile mean anything? Could it mean she want's to avoid me? Should I continue to talk to her as a friend? What does it all mean?

Edited April 28, 2012 by illsaveyou

[darkmoon]

you don't know if you have the job yet; long-distance affairs generally do not work according to the problems i see here on LS, see what develops, you don't have much choice, obviously you do not tell X, who will feel pressured, just do not push it with X, all you can do is be pleasant, sorry, i know you want more, but X atmo is all over the place, maybe just confused, one last thing, long-distance for men spells sex needs unmet thru the week, imho, i do not see fidelity, but all you can do is offer to keep in touch as "friends" the euphemism for "we'll-have-a-screw-one-day"

Edited April 28, 2012 by darkmoon