Guys: Can you detect when a woman is sexually frustrated? If so, is it unattractive?

[FrustratedStandards]

I have a friend who is really horny and hasn't gotten laid in years (about two years and some). All of our conversations consist of her b*tching about how there are no real men out there and how the guys she dates are never any good (I don't mean sexually, but in general she stops liking them after she gets to know them).

 

I'm starting to think that maybe they can detect this "expectation to be satisfied sexually" and maybe this turns them off?

 

Gentlemen?

[Woggle]

It's not that but the attitude that no man is good enough for her. Nobody is that much better than everybody else. That attitude is such a turn off.

[USMCHokie]

I'm starting to think that maybe they can detect this "expectation to be satisfied sexually" and maybe this turns them off?

 

Seriously...?

 

One of two things is happening:

 

(1) She feels entitled to a certain "type" of man and doesn't want to be seen with anything else. Unfortunately, she probably doesn't rate such quality.

 

(2) She meets guys that she is interested in, but they aren't interested in her. She then flips it around to make it seem like she's the one not interested in them.

[FrustratedStandards]

Seriously...?

 

One of two things is happening:

 

(1) She feels entitled to a certain "type" of man and doesn't want to be seen with anything else. Unfortunately, she probably doesn't rate such quality.

 

(2) She meets guys that she is interested in, but they aren't interested in her. She then flips it around to make it seem like she's the one not interested in them.

 

No no. She's confessed to me before that there are men she has been interested in who didn't wan't to date her/only wanted a one night stand.

 

And she isn't the kind of her to do one night stands. She's like me, it takes a lot to open up sexually with a guy (hence why we are so horny dammit! lol!)

[dasein]

No, I can't tell when a woman is horny upon first meeting just by looking at her. Of course once she is touchy and very flirtatious sure. If I could it would be a mild turnon because it would mean she wasn't the type to keep FWBs.

[SmileFace]

So you are saying that you think guys are turned off by the fact that she seems like she wants sex?

[january2011]

I was told that guys can smell the pheromones from a mile away and it's a turn on rather than a turn off.

 

This came from a doctor who was also trying to get into my pants.

 

Make of that what you will.

[kaylan]

Sounds like a girl whos got a sex drive but is prude nonetheless.

 

Do not want.

[FrustratedStandards]

So you are saying that you think guys are turned off by the fact that she seems like she wants sex?

 

I can't think of anything else.

 

Sounds like a girl whos got a sex drive but is prude nonetheless.

 

Do not want.

 

Why not? Wouldn't you want a horny girl who isn't just gonna sleep with anyone but would rather actually get to know the guy?

[Ninjainpajamas]

I'm not sure about other men, but personally I can tell...I can get a sense of that "holding back" tension within a woman. But then again that's If they're into you and you're doing all the other things right as well, before hand leading up to that point.

 

I hear this argument from women who have a standard, a lot. Women that fall easily don't generally tend to think much into it and they just go with whatever the flow is that guy basically puts them through and brings to the table.

 

Women with a standard typically have these expectations which generally aren't that bad but many guys they date seem to miss the mark even If they're quite basic. They tend to see things in a total package, rather than just one intense quality like good looks, or what not.

 

However there are situations like women setting the bar too high, having unrealistic expectations (for their looks, qualities) and having a sense of entitlement like they're just this awesome person that deserves an awesome man but to awesome men don't really find her that....awesome, themselves.

 

Most of these men fail on the personality, chemistry, ability to be seductive rather than just in your face, and can do it with an actual appeal instead of "I'm just going to let this guy poke me because I'm horny".

 

Maybe for a guy who expects a woman to fall into bed with them just because may find this a turn-off because they know it's not going to be as easy as taking out the trash...but others would find it a challenge and maybe even erotic...but then again you'd already be sleeping with the latter guy anyway, thus not being very horny or at least something to do with that desire not.

[Anela]

Sounds like a girl whos got a sex drive but is prude nonetheless.

 

Do not want.

 

She isn't a prude if she isn't attracted to them. And what if she were? I don't like the idea that if I don't drop my undies within three dates, it means I'm only looking for attention. No matter how well I hit it off with someone right away, I want to get to know them better.

[Feelsgoodman]

I have a friend who is really horny and hasn't gotten laid in years (about two years and some). All of our conversations consist of her b*tching about how there are no real men out there and how the guys she dates are never any good (I don't mean sexually, but in general she stops liking them after she gets to know them).

 

I'm starting to think that maybe they can detect this "expectation to be satisfied sexually" and maybe this turns them off?

 

Gentlemen?

Riiiight...a "friend"

 

Yes, guys can detect frustration in a woman, be it sexual or otherwise. I've met women like that and they are distinctly unpleasant to be around.

[Feelsgoodman]

So you are saying that you think guys are turned off by the fact that she seems like she wants sex?

There is a difference between being horny and being sexually frustrated. Women who are sexually frustrated...well, let's just say that they aren't getting any for a reason. And I mean really, unless she was a total dog, no woman living in the West would have a problem getting laid.

[Bob_Funk]

Reminds me of a recent date. The girl did this whole song and dance about how badly she needed a fb. I told her I'd be very happy to take on that role. "Of course you would," she replied, grimacing. Never got to tap it obviously.

 

Funny how women are apparently so horny and then act like nuns when a guy enters the picture. Is there sex drive actually quite low, as I've always suspected? Or is their sexuality so narcissistic that they'd rather just flick their own beans while staring in the mirror?

[kaylan]

Why not? Wouldn't you want a horny girl who isn't just gonna sleep with anyone but would rather actually get to know the guy?

Not having sex for years at a time (for a woman) is a sign shes a prude and prolly wont be on the same sexual wavelength as I.

 

Id rather not deal with it. I know we would have too different views on sex to be compatible.

[kaylan]

She isn't a prude if she isn't attracted to them. And what if she were? I don't like the idea that if I don't drop my undies within three dates, it means I'm only looking for attention. No matter how well I hit it off with someone right away, I want to get to know them better.

3 dates is no biggie to me.

 

But if a chick hasnt gotten any in 2 years? I mean come on. Thats a flag to me. And Id rather not deal with that.

 

Its all good if she hasnt been attracted to any of the guys she met...but I find that unlikely in 2 years. Its obviously something else going on.

[mesmerized]

There is a difference between being horny and being sexually frustrated. Women who are sexually frustrated...well, let's just say that they aren't getting any for a reason. And I mean really, unless she was a total dog, no woman living in the West would have a problem getting laid.

 

 

Or perhaps she has standards as it looks like the OP's friend does. It's not that there is no guy wanting to have sex with her, it's that she is not interested in those guys.

 

Personally I think you should tell your friend to give up on the idea of a great man, they don't exist, specially not where we live hun. Tell her to get her rocks off with the best of her options.

[Cypress25]

Wow, waiting for the right guy doesn't mean you're a prude. It's not always easy to find someone you're compatible with, sometimes it takes awhile. In those 2 years, she probably went through a phase where she took a break from dating. I doubt she was putting all her energy into finding a partner that whole time.

 

I know it's hard for men to understand because they'll have sex with any attractive woman, whether they like her or not. But women are generally more selective about their sexual partners. Physical attraction alone is not enough, unless you're looking for a one-night stand.

[Jane2011]

In the past two years, I've had sex with five guys. I was very attracted to all of them. I'll always remember 2010 and 2011 as a lot of fun that way. But I think the phase is over because I haven't had sex since December, and I'm not really looking to have sex with anyone anymore.

 

Yet, I've had 2 year stretches in the past in which I had no sex because I just didn't like anyone.

 

Actually, I'm not really sure what this thread is talking about. I skimmed through the responses, and don't know what the point is except...

 

Oh, something about you're prude if you don't have sex for two years.

 

Not so much....

[kaylan]

In response to Cypress:

 

I wont have sex with any attractive woman. My number is lowish average for a guy my age too.

 

But for a gal to go 2 years without getting any or even having a boyfriend to fool around with? It just makes me wonder is all

[ThaWholigan]

I can't always tell, but sometimes when women get unnecessarily angry about some things, I can sometimes get that vibe .

[Cypress25]

Compatibility is harder and harder to find these days. Especially with so many guys deciding they don't want serious relationships, they just want casual sex. So when a girl finally does find a guy she really likes, he doesn't want the kind of relationship that she wants. There's nothing more disappointing than that.

[ThaWholigan]

Compatibility is harder and harder to find these days. Especially with so many guys deciding they don't want serious relationships, they just want casual sex. So when a girl finally does find a guy she really likes, he doesn't want the kind of relationship that she wants. There's nothing more disappointing than that.

The problem I can see is that some of the dudes who could possibly be compatible, don't really put the work into their character, they could be the best version of themselves but they turn into a shadow of that. That's something I personally believe. This applies to the dudes who get some and the dudes who don't.

 

I think casual sex is hard to pass up but maybe don't know what their missing with regards to more passionate enounters? Possibly....

[Feelsgoodman]

 

Or perhaps she has standards as it looks like the OP's friend does. It's not that there is no guy wanting to have sex with her, it's that she is not interested in those guys.

The OP...er, I mean the OP's friend has standards that are completely unrealistic compared to what she herself has to offer. That's the only reasonable explanation for her prolonged involuntary abstinence.

 

If an average, nothing special guy said that he would settle for nothing less than a supermodel, people would laugh and say that he needs to be realistic. But if an average, nothing special girl demands Prince Charming, it's called "having standards". Funny how it works.

[SmileFace]

There is a difference between being horny and being sexually frustrated. Women who are sexually frustrated...well, let's just say that they aren't getting any for a reason. And I mean really, unless she was a total dog, no woman living in the West would have a problem getting laid.

 

Yea and there is a difference between sexually frustrated and not wanting to engage in casual sex. If I left it up to finding a relationship to have sex - I Woild never get laid.