Guys: Can you detect when a woman is sexually frustrated? If so, is it unattractive?

[manup]

You're right, i'm expecting too much. After all, apparently paying for a date, holding a door and going to the gym (on top of not being a psycho) is just far too much to ask for.

 

*sigh*

 

Are you the feminine ideal? Why should a man be chivalrous and old fashioned if you're not? I mean for goodness sake you, don't believe in marriage, and you fave a FWB, yet you expect an old fashioned guy who will hold doors and pay for dates. It's like Lebron James playing ping pong to help his basketball game.

[Woggle]

Many men say they are against commitment but put a woman in front of them who is worth it and most will change their mind. It is not men's fault that not many women these days are commitment material. Just look at what the men on here who loved a woman and thought she loved them go through. Can you blame a man for wanting to avoid that?

 

I also never thought I would see the day where men got flack for actually wanting equal relationships which is what feminists have been telling men they wanted for the last couple of decades.

[oaks]

Sex should always be free. It should never be something thats seen as something you get in a sort of transaction. No give and take, but something me and a girl both do together.

 

Agreed. Sex should be give and give. What the woman "gets" from "giving" sex to the man is... sex. And last time I checked women like sex, too.

[bac]

I have a friend who is really horny and hasn't gotten laid in years (about two years and some). All of our conversations consist of her b*tching about how there are no real men out there and how the guys she dates are never any good (I don't mean sexually, but in general she stops liking them after she gets to know them).

 

I'm starting to think that maybe they can detect this "expectation to be satisfied sexually" and maybe this turns them off?

 

Gentlemen?

 

From what you have written, you are a man. A girl told you that she wanted a man. Why didn't you help her yourself?

 

No, women cannot be sexually frustrated and they have no expectations to be satisfied sexually well. Nothing can turn a man off if he is really horny and a woman wants to f....k him.

Men cannot figure out anything about female's sexual satisfaction. They have no idea if a woman likes/fakes sex or orgasm.

[Radu]

I have a friend who is really horny and hasn't gotten laid in years (about two years and some). All of our conversations consist of her b*tching about how there are no real men out there and how the guys she dates are never any good (I don't mean sexually, but in general she stops liking them after she gets to know them).

 

I'm starting to think that maybe they can detect this "expectation to be satisfied sexually" and maybe this turns them off?

 

Gentlemen?

 

 

You mention " in general she stops liking them after she gets to know them'. If that is the case, your friend has serious issues.

We are not up there on a stage to 'entertain' you. We come to you for sex or to maybe establish a friendship relationship that will hopefully last for a lifetime.

Within a lifetime, you will hear the same joke many times over again, you will redo things and you will probably do missionary position thousands of times.

Repetition is the key here, right ?

 

Unfortunately some ppl get bored much faster with repetition, or are challenged only when the unknown is in front of them.

This is both a gift and a curse.

It's a gift because these ppl constantly want to learn new things, and will grow a lot as they age ... they are like wine.

It's a curse because some let themselves be controlled by their desires, overriding their better judgement.

It's even more of a curse if you rely on others to entertain you, instead of finding happiness in yourself.

 

While i can see that your friend might be bummed out by not finding a man who understands this and also has a 'curious' personality, i think what is the most likely case here is that she is an entitled spoiled brat who blames others for her lack of internal happiness.

 

PS: I also get bored easily.

[kaylan]

From what you have written, you are a man. A girl told you that she wanted a man. Why didn't you help her yourself?

 

No, women cannot be sexually frustrated and they have no expectations to be satisfied sexually well. Nothing can turn a man off if he is really horny and a woman wants to f....k him.

Men cannot figure out anything about female's sexual satisfaction. They have no idea if a woman likes/fakes sex or orgasm.

........................zuh?

[Radu]

........................zuh?

 

About FrustratedStandards

GenderRather not say

 

I doubt that avatar of hers spells 'female'.

Internet made us all anonymous.

[Feelsgoodman]

You're right, i'm expecting too much. After all, apparently paying for a date, holding a door and going to the gym (on top of not being a psycho) is just far too much to ask for.

 

*sigh*

As I surmise from your various threads, you basically want a hot guy who is also well off financially and wants to spend money on you. Is that too much to ask? For most women, yes. Only the top 5-10% can expect to land such a guy.

[Feelsgoodman]

Dudes only want to put in effort with women who are worth it. Maybe the key here is some of you ladies need to figure out how to make yourselves seem worth it to guys...ya know?

Exactly. So many women think that just by virtue of being female, they deserve having quality men chase after them. And then they are shocked that only guys looking for a ONS are interested in playing their games.

[mesmerized]

 

And you missed my other point entirely. Some guys just dont want a relationship with the wrong woman, so even if they are in "having fun mode" they will settle down with the right girl...the right woman who shows shes worth it. And sometimes men and women screw up their status as a potential partner by doing something that makes someone deem them as not worth it. Thats a reality sister.

 

lol, I did not miss your point AT ALL and in fact I responded to it. Unlike what you think your point isn't that hard to understand.

 

I just disagree with your point and even believe agreeing with it is trouble for women. Sure in SOME cases it might be true, but in a lot of cases this does NOT hold true. And this stupid thinking is the reason a lot of women try to tame a player and make him fall in love because they think oh he will settle for the "right" woman. A player cannot see the "rightness" in a woman most of the time even if it does exist because settling down and looking for a right woman is not his mindset, period. I've even known men who have told me that, last one was a hot 25 year old about a month ago. We were talking as friends and he told me a lot about his life and his current mindset and how he feels the pressure to have tons of sex with different women and how he passed up on a great girl because of it.

 

Heck I was and still am a bit in that mood. I wanted to be single no matter what and even if a right guy came along, I'm sure I'd find some fault with him to not have to commit.

[Radu]

mesmerized, you still don't get it.

kaylan is talking about your average guy.

Your average guy is not a player, in fact he is kinda shy and awkward with women.

 

Your average guy is not the player in the relationships, the woman is because she has many many many yrs of experience in running relationships ... it gets even worse if that said woman is an entitled brat.

[Cypress25]

Your average guy is not a player, in fact he is kinda shy and awkward with women.

 

So basically, as a woman, my choices are the player who's going to break my heart or the unattractive guy who's shy and awkward with women? With options like that, it's no wonder so many women choose to remain single instead.

 

Most women are just looking for the basics in a partner: good personality, good sense of humor, fun to be with, compatible values, a little bit of confidence. I don't think that's asking too much, especially when the woman can provide all of those things herself. Those things are necessary for a happy relationship, so to say that a woman's expectations are too high if she wants those things, is basically saying that women don't deserve to be in a happy, mutually satisfying relationship.

 

Men who can provide those things are in high demand. Since they have options, they're often only interested in casual sex. They won't want a relationship no matter how great the woman is, because they always think they can do better.

 

I don't think feminism is to blame for this, although I do think certain woman play a role in this. It's the women who are willing to have sex with a guy after three dates, with absolutely no commitment or devotion from him. Back in the day, if a guy wanted to have sex, he would need a girlfriend. Now, with so many women engaging in NSA sex, guys realize that they can get sex without being in a relationship. So they opt for that because it's easier. Feminism was around for a long time before that started happening. First wave feminism was in the 1920's when women fought for the right to vote. But the hookup culture didn't really get going until the late 90's. I think some women need to stop being sluts, to put it bluntly. It makes it really hard for the rest of us who actually want relationships.

[ScreamingTrees]

Compatibility is harder and harder to find these days. Especially with so many guys deciding they don't want serious relationships, they just want casual sex. So when a girl finally does find a guy she really likes, he doesn't want the kind of relationship that she wants. There's nothing more disappointing than that.

 

Where are all of these girls that are looking for relationships but only find casual-minded dudes? I can't find them. lol

 

And are the awkward shy guys that bad in comparison to the "players", if they only sometimes act that way around strangers and attractive females?

Edited April 28, 2012 by ScreamingTrees

[Feelsgoodman]

Most women are just looking for the basics in a partner: good personality, good sense of humor, fun to be with, compatible values, a little bit of confidence. I don't think that's asking too much, especially when the woman can provide all of those things herself.

And what makes you think that most women can provide all of those "basics" themselves?

 

Men who can provide those things are in high demand. Since they have options, they're often only interested in casual sex. They won't want a relationship no matter how great the woman is, because they always think they can do better.

Not true. Men like that are often interested in long term relationships, but certainly not with some random Jill or Jane. They want a relationships with women of their caliber (who are also pretty rare). It blows my mind that average women think they are entitled to have a relationship with a "high demand" man. Life is not a romance novel.

[veggirl]

In response to the OP, yeah I think a guy could probably sense a woman who is so sexually frustrated she bitches about it non stop to her friends. I def think there is a crankyish vibe she's probably giving off on her dates.

 

I do find it odd to go 2 yrs without being attracted to any guy, unless you literally aren't looking at ALL.

 

And where do you all live where only a tiny % of fellas are looking for relationships and thus all the girls want that tiny %?

 

Considering how MANY people get married, I find it hard to believe that the % of guys looking for Rs is as low as many want us to believe. Who are all these guys getting married if so few want marriage?

 

Most guys I know and have met in my life (AVERAGE guys) may not be on the hunt for a GF but when they meet a girl they like they aren't opposed to it. I don't know any guys that are all just hellbent on playing the scene and scoring as much @$s as possible. Maybe it's an age thing? I could see college kids being like that. I knew lots of guys in college who didn't want a GF but now at late 20s, I don't know any who are adamently opposed to it. Just cause a guy doesn't like a certain girl, doesn't mean he won't like and want to lock down the next. It goes both ways, of course. a girl rejecting a guy doesn't mean she doesn't want a R, just means she doesn't want one with him. What's the problem?

 

If a girl was actively seeking a BF and looked for 2 yrs without finding ANYONE she was attracted to / interested in, I'd think her standards were probably too high, but to each their own, keep looking!

Edited April 28, 2012 by veggirl

[Feelsgoodman]

I knew lots of guys in college who didn't want a GF but now at late 20s, I don't know any who are adamently opposed to it. Just cause a guy doesn't like a certain girl, doesn't mean he won't like and want to lock down the next. It goes both ways, of course. a girl rejecting a guy doesn't mean she doesn't want a R, just means she doesn't want one with him. What's the problem?

I think you nailed it. Some women think that just because a man is not interested in a relationship with her means that he is not interested in a relationship in general.

[mesmerized]

I think you nailed it. Some women think that just because a man is not interested in a relationship with her means that he is not interested in a relationship in general.

 

Perhaps men in veggirl's circle just don't have many sex options and aren't desirable or are old. I've had enough men tell me (in friends position not even dating so I'm not biased here in my own favor) that they are after getting as many asses as they can and act accordingly that I'm not gonna change my opinion on this one. They go out looking for sex, period. They don't even ask a woman what she does, all they care about is if a woman is DTF or not. Of course I'm not talking about the supposedly average/ugly looking guy who no one might want lol

 

An attractive young guy knows he is attractive and he is not emotionally needy so he uses his attractiveness to sleep with lots and lots of attractive women. He simply doesn't see an advantage in monogomy and getting tied down to one woman. A lot of these guys want to settle at some point but that won't come around until their mid late thirties. Just go on dating websites, most twenties or even early thirties guy are looking for fun whereas the older ones are mostly after relationships. I'm honestly surprised you guys don't see this as it's way too obvious to me.

[ThaWholigan]

Perhaps men in veggirl's circle just don't have many sex options and aren't desirable or are old. I've had enough men tell me (in friends position not even dating so I'm not biased here in my own favor) that they are after getting as many asses as they can and act accordingly that I'm not gonna change my opinion on this one. They go out looking for sex, period. They don't even ask a woman what she does, all they care about is if a woman is DTF or not. Of course I'm not talking about the supposedly average/ugly looking guy who no one might want lol

 

An attractive young guy knows he is attractive and he is not emotionally needy so he uses his attractiveness to sleep with lots and lots of attractive women. He simply doesn't see an advantage in monogomy and getting tied down to one woman. A lot of these guys want to settle at some point but that won't come around until their mid late thirties. Just go on dating websites, most twenties or even early thirties guy are looking for fun whereas the older ones are mostly after relationships. I'm honestly surprised you guys don't see this as it's way too obvious to me.

Social circles tend to vary I find. In London, I know a lot of guys who are this way, and the ones who aren't all have girlfriends already. So I know exactly what you are talking about. It's not rare to find a guy who is a fusion between the two and actually is more discriminating about his options where I'm from, but I don't know what it's like in your area.

 

I sometimes think women don't look hard enough though, but that's just me.

[veggirl]

I think you nailed it. Some women think that just because a man is not interested in a relationship with her means that he is not interested in a relationship in general.

 

This is the vibe I was getting as well.

 

Perhaps men in veggirl's circle just don't have many sex options and aren't desirable or are old. I've had enough men tell me (in friends position not even dating so I'm not biased here in my own favor) that they are after getting as many asses as they can and act accordingly that I'm not gonna change my opinion on this one. They go out looking for sex, period. They don't even ask a woman what she does, all they care about is if a woman is DTF or not. Of course I'm not talking about the supposedly average/ugly looking guy who no one might want lol

 

An attractive young guy knows he is attractive and he is not emotionally needy so he uses his attractiveness to sleep with lots and lots of attractive women. He simply doesn't see an advantage in monogomy and getting tied down to one woman. A lot of these guys want to settle at some point but that won't come around until their mid late thirties. Just go on dating websites, most twenties or even early thirties guy are looking for fun whereas the older ones are mostly after relationships. I'm honestly surprised you guys don't see this as it's way too obvious to me.

 

How old are you? I assume you're quite young if you're using phrases like DTF and guys you know use that too. If you'll re-read my post, I made a caveat for young, college aged guys. I don't think OPs friend is chasing 22 yr olds.

 

And IIRC, OP is late 20s so I'd assume her friend is around the same. Guys that age are the ones I am referring to, the ones that I know. And I *said* they are mostly AVERAGE. So no they aren't ugly or 100 yrs old or living in poverty or socially retarded. They are *average*.

 

So, you say you AREN'T talking about average guys. What's wrong with average? If you are talking about ridiculously model hot guys then DUH they have loads of options and may be looking for the next best thing, but...I thought we were talking about regular folks. Aren't we???

 

All your GFs and the girls you know are chasing after model hot guys and then upset they aren't getting into Rs with them? Is that what you are getting at?

[Woggle]

If younger men are not interested in relationships then how come I am in my early 30s and I see plenty of my peers getting married? Men want to commit but with the right woman. I swore on my life I would never get married again after my first marriage went to hell but I met a woman who convinced me otherwise.

 

Another factor in being a player is that men don't want to get their heart broken. Not all but many women these days talk a good game about commitment but run in the other direction when a man cares too much or they catch GIGS when things get too heavy or if it does get to the marriage stage they wake up one day and want a divorce out of the blue. Players want to avoid all of that. I would say that nearly every player I have known had their heart shredded by a woman they loved at point.

[mesmerized]

This is the vibe I was getting as well.

 

 

 

How old are you? I assume you're quite young if you're using phrases like DTF and guys you know use that too. If you'll re-read my post, I made a caveat for young, college aged guys. I don't think OPs friend is chasing 22 yr olds.

 

And IIRC, OP is late 20s so I'd assume her friend is around the same. Guys that age are the ones I am referring to, the ones that I know. And I *said* they are mostly AVERAGE. So no they aren't ugly or 100 yrs old or living in poverty or socially retarded. They are *average*.

 

So, you say you AREN'T talking about average guys. What's wrong with average? If you are talking about ridiculously model hot guys then DUH they have loads of options and may be looking for the next best thing, but...I thought we were talking about regular folks. Aren't we???

 

All your GFs and the girls you know are chasing after model hot guys and then upset they aren't getting into Rs with them? Is that what you are getting at?

 

Depends what regular folk or average is in your mind. I'm not talking about ridiculously hot guys, just guys that are attractive enough to have options and in this day and age, that by no means means "model hot". So you do agree that this doesn't hold true for a guy who can get sex without too much trouble, right?

 

And I live in a big city. Late twenties is not that late for men. I agree than in more suburban areas late twenties mean looking down to settle. But here the party and sleep around stage goes for quite long.

[ThaWholigan]

Depends what regular folk or average is in your mind. I'm not talking about ridiculously hot guys, just guys that are attractive enough to have options and in this day and age, that by no means means "model hot". So you do agree that this doesn't hold true for a guy who can get sex without too much trouble, right?

 

And I live in a big city. Late twenties is not that late for men. I agree than in more suburban areas late twenties mean looking down to settle. But here the party and sleep around stage goes for quite long.

just like London then....

[veggirl]

Depends what regular folk or average is in your mind. I'm not talking about ridiculously hot guys, just guys that are attractive enough to have options and in this day and age, that by no means means "model hot". So you do agree that this doesn't hold true for a guy who can get sex without too much trouble, right?

 

And I live in a big city. Late twenties is not that late for men. I agree than in more suburban areas late twenties mean looking down to settle. But here the party and sleep around stage goes for quite long.

 

No I do not agree that a guy who can easily get sex will not settle down. My BF is 27, and he's hot, good job, funny, smart, etc. I'd say he's above average, tbh...of course I may be biased He can and has gotten lots of sex. I know he was making the rounds plenty when he was in college. He is with me, he is not looking for better. He asked me to be his GF, he pursued me. I live in a big city too.

 

We've had quite different experiences, I guess. I can only think of one late 20s guy I know who is single.

[Woggle]

In certain cities nobody seems to want to settle down until about 40. It's not just exclusive to men.

[Cypress25]

It blows my mind that average women think they are entitled to have a relationship with a "high demand" man. Life is not a romance novel.

 

These "high demand" guys are actually normal guys who stand out because they are confident and have a great personality. They're not rock stars or anything, they just have an advantage over shy, awkward guys who have no social skills. Any woman with confidence and personality is on the same level as these high-demand men. The only reason they are high demand is because guys with confidence and personality are rare. Seems like the "average guy" doesn't even have the basics, but the average woman does.