Guys: Can you detect when a woman is sexually frustrated? If so, is it unattractive?

[Woggle]

I will admit, she's a huge b*tch and she complains about absolutely everything (we went on a week vacation once and I couldn't stand her after 2 days) so I suppose that could be it, but she isn't like that around guys.

 

I've seen how she behaves around guys that could be potential boyfriends, and she doesn't b*tch at all. She keeps her mouth shut (because she knows how b*tchy she is and it would scare off a guy right away).

 

Now that I think about it, she does feel entitled to some things, but after all, I agree with her. A woman (like her) who doesn't sleep around, covers her p*ssy when she goes out and only has sex with men who deserve it, SHOULD be entitled to respect and a good man. So I understand why she is frustrated and I also don't understand why a great gal like her is single.

 

That's why I asked if the sexual frustration was the turn off, because I honestly can't think of anything else.

 

No matter how much a woman tries to hide her nature some men can see right through it. I feel bad for any guy she gets with because they will have a rude awakening a few years down the road when it turns out she is not who she presented herself to be.

[RedRobin]

I've had a number of men who are currently in relationships or even married hit on me.

 

... and it made me think... Today's 'dating' culture is a huge turn off to me... thus insuring I will probably be single much longer than I might have before I was married back in the early 90's.

Edited April 29, 2012 by RedRobin

[veggirl]

I will admit, she's a huge b*tch and she complains about absolutely everything (we went on a week vacation once and I couldn't stand her after 2 days) so I suppose that could be it, but she isn't like that around guys.

 

I've seen how she behaves around guys that could be potential boyfriends, and she doesn't b*tch at all. She keeps her mouth shut (because she knows how b*tchy she is and it would scare off a guy right away).

 

Now that I think about it, she does feel entitled to some things, but after all, I agree with her. A woman (like her) who doesn't sleep around, covers her p*ssy when she goes out and only has sex with men who deserve it, SHOULD be entitled to respect and a good man. So I understand why she is frustrated and I also don't understand why a great gal like her is single.

 

That's why I asked if the sexual frustration was the turn off, because I honestly can't think of anything else.

 

The turn off is that she is a bitch. Even if she hides it at first, guys could be picking up on it. A girl with an entitlement complex would be easy to spot, I'd think, and if not immediately I'm sure it comes out rather quickly if it's her natural state. I mean is her plan to hide it til she snags a man and then do a 180 and hope he sticks around anyway cause she is celibate and pretty?

 

This thread was interesting. What I've gathered is a lot of women think all the good guys are taken (guess I lucked into mine!) and they are SOL. That sucks. I don't think most guys are jerks just looking for sex and I don't think most girls are stuck up bitches who want the world handed to them without offering anything in return. There is a middle ground...it's where most of us live, I think. I see "catches" in relationships all the time, usually with other people who are considered a "catch". If a guy or gal can't find that, perhaps they aren't the catch they think they are. I don't know.

 

Another battle of the sexes thread

[mesmerized]

I see bitches in relationships all the time People in this thread talk as if you have to be a good person to find a relationship, nope. The biggest bitch I know has never been single. And I know great girls who have been single forever. A woman's relationship status isn't really representative of how good she is, considering how many women are just emotionally needy and have to have a boyfriend to feel good/survive.

 

I think OP's friend should just have sex, instead of waiting for Mr. right AND not lower her standards unless they really are unrealistic. I can't tell you how many women I know that went against their standards and ended up cheating on their men, just not worth it.

[Jane2011]

I see bitches in relationships all the time People in this thread talk as if you have to be a good person to find a relationship, nope. The biggest bitch I know has never been single. And I know great girls who have been single forever. A woman's relationship status isn't really representative of how good she is, considering how many women are just emotionally needy and have to have a boyfriend to feel good/survive.

 

True that. It's a mix. Good women are in a relationships, so are bitches. I've talked about a woman who's in a relationship on this board (and her guy is devoted to her), and most of the guys on here said the woman was a selfish bitch, knowing the details of the situation. I don't think the woman is a 'bitch', per se. But she's selfish, for sure.

 

'A catch' is such a general term. People don't just fall into two categories of being 'a catch' or not. Some people are catches and are bitches. Some people are catches and are really nice. Some people aren't really catches in a lot of 'categories' but are really nice, generous, good-hearted people. Etc., etc.

 

I think OP's friend should just have sex, instead of waiting for Mr. right AND not lower her standards unless they really are unrealistic. I can't tell you how many women I know that went against their standards and ended up cheating on their men, just not worth it.

 

Agree. Even though I've been one who's saying in this thread that it's okay to take time out for a while (a couple years), I don't know if I'd really do it myself. I say I could now, but I'm only four months in. I'll likely get antsy soon enough and want some lovin', lol, and really put myself out there.

 

At some point, even if Mr. Right weren't happening, I'd probably seek sex, even if it's not "the" guy. I wouldn't be lowering my standards, because I'd have sex only with a guy I'm attracted to and who has stuff going for him. My standards for sex partners aren't that different from my standards for a relationship. I only want to sleep with guys who I *would* have a relationship with. The thing that makes a guy "not relationship material" to me is that he's not going to be the devoted, attentive guy I want him to be (i.e., I think he's a hopeless cause), not that he himself is repulsive, a big dork, or idiotic.

[ThaWholigan]

Everyone has their flaws. How accepting of them they are is probably the key to how easily they make relationships, as well as who is likelier to put up with them.

[fortyninethousand322]

No offense, I like you but...

 

This could be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard on this message board.

 

I have a friend from college who is in his mid 30s. Indian guy. Back in college, I can't even count the number of girls who said he was good looking. Not cute, good looking and handsome. That's a real compliment. He also happens to be a very social guy and a party animal. He's also smart since we went to the same school which is one of the best in the country.

 

He hasn't had a girlfriend or been on a date in about half a decade. Which is not to say he doesn't get laid ... a lot probably. But his lifestyle is not to be bogged down with relationships at this point.

 

So then he wouldn't qualify as "sexually frustrated" or a "red flag" then would he? Besides, he probably also falls under the "curing cancer" category that I stipulated.

 

So, to be clear: if you are single and sexless, unwillingly and you're not curing cancer or some similar thing it is a red flag. Trust me, I know this first hand. I'm a walking red flag because of these very qualities.

[Jane2011]

EDIT previous post:

 

'A catch' is such a general term. People don't just fall into two categories of being 'a catch' or not. Some people are catches and are bitches. Some people are catches and are really nice. Some people aren't really catches in a lot of 'categories' (like career, physical fitness, education, etc.) but are really nice, generous, good-hearted people who deserve love... Etc., etc.

They are catches, though.

Edited April 29, 2012 by Jane2011

[Woggle]

Yes bad women get in relationships all the time but they attract doormats. They don't get the quality men.

[RedRobin]

I see bitches in relationships all the time People in this thread talk as if you have to be a good person to find a relationship, nope. The biggest bitch I know has never been single. And I know great girls who have been single forever. A woman's relationship status isn't really representative of how good she is, considering how many women are just emotionally needy and have to have a boyfriend to feel good/survive.

 

I think OP's friend should just have sex, instead of waiting for Mr. right AND not lower her standards unless they really are unrealistic. I can't tell you how many women I know that went against their standards and ended up cheating on their men, just not worth it.

 

I wanted to 'like' the first paragraph, but I take issue with the second.

 

While one is 'having sex' with Mr. Right Now, you are not available for Mr. Right. Plus it opens you up to not nice people. Like Starla in the other thread.

 

This is the biggest reason I don't do FWB or flings. Not to mention, that I don't want the kind of guy who 'bins' people either.

 

I can deal with being frustrated.... I think.

[FrustratedStandards]

I see bitches in relationships all the time People in this thread talk as if you have to be a good person to find a relationship, nope. The biggest bitch I know has never been single. And I know great girls who have been single forever. A woman's relationship status isn't really representative of how good she is, considering how many women are just emotionally needy and have to have a boyfriend to feel good/survive.

 

Hmmm... I agree with the bolded and that's a good point. Being single (for however long a period) isn't a "giveaway" as to how the person is.

 

Yes bad women get in relationships all the time but they attract doormats. They don't get the quality men.

 

Doormats yes, but even doormat men can be quality men.

 

I have a friend that I have been friends with since high school. He is a quality man, but his girlfriend is a psycho b*tch, and by psycho b*tch I mean she beat him in public with her purse on his birthday because "he was nice to the coat check lady who offered to take his jacket".

 

The problem with him is that he has no backbone, but I don't think no backbone equates to poor quality of a man.

 

Also, a man with no backbone isn't necessarily a horrible thing if he has a great, smart and strong woman next to him.

 

I wanted to 'like' the first paragraph, but I take issue with the second.

 

While one is 'having sex' with Mr. Right Now, you are not available for Mr. Right. Plus it opens you up to not nice people. Like Starla in the other thread.

 

This is the biggest reason I don't do FWB or flings. Not to mention, that I don't want the kind of guy who 'bins' people either.

 

I can deal with being frustrated.... I think.

 

There is no such thing as "Mr Right" or "Mr Right Now". There is only men that you like, and those you don't.

 

This whole "the one for you" is such a load of hollywood and new age crap. There are plenty of people we are capable of dating or settling down with, not just one.

 

So no, by dating other guys she isn't missing out on anything, she is simply dealing with one man until she realizes whether he will be worth it or not.

 

 

Although this thread does make me think of something else. It's not that she has unrealistic standards, but she refuses to "allow" any mess ups.

 

If she meets a man that fits what she is looking for (rare) if he so much as shows as being human (get's angry and says something stupid or accidentally spills his drink on himself) she doesn't have the ability to laugh at is or see past it. Little things like this make him undesirable because "he shouldn't get upset enough to say something stupid" or "he should care more about keeping his clothes clean".

 

Hmmm...food for thought.

Edited April 30, 2012 by FrustratedStandards

[Radu]

Doormats yes, but even doormat men can be quality men.

 

I have a friend that I have been friends with since high school. He is a quality man, but his girlfriend is a psycho b*tch, and by psycho b*tch I mean she beat him in public with her purse on his birthday because "he was nice to the coat check lady who offered to take his jacket".

 

The problem with him is that he has no backbone, but I don't think no backbone equates to poor quality of a man.

 

Also, a man with no backbone isn't necessarily a horrible thing if he has a great, smart and strong woman next to him.

 

---

 

Although this thread does make me think of something else. It's not that she has unrealistic standards, but she refuses to "allow" any mess ups.

 

If she meets a man that fits what she is looking for (rare) if he so much as shows as being human (get's angry and says something stupid or accidentally spills his drink on himself) she doesn't have the ability to laugh at is or see past it. Little things like this make him undesirable because "he shouldn't get upset enough to say something stupid" or "he should care more about keeping his clothes clean".

 

Hmmm...food for thought.

 

 

First of all, generally women like for the man to lead, for them to be submissive ... take it as a general roleplay thing and not something that stirs up feminazism.

While there are some women who get off on being dominating, there are not many of them. And i'm talking about those that are 95% of the times dominating not about those that sometimes switch it for thrills.

 

---

 

Second, i have a cousin like the girl you are describing. She can never be happy because she expects the man to make her happy.

He is not responsible for her happiness and mess ups will always happen in relationships.

Your friend will either get a doormat she won't respect (from what you said), or die alone.

[Anela]

First of all, generally women like for the man to lead, for them to be submissive ... take it as a general roleplay thing and not something that stirs up feminazism.

While there are some women who get off on being dominating, there are not many of them. And i'm talking about those that are 95% of the times dominating not about those that sometimes switch it for thrills.

 

I'm not submissive... and I don't want a man who would be a doormat.

[FrustratedStandards]

First of all, generally women like for the man to lead, for them to be submissive ... take it as a general roleplay thing and not something that stirs up feminazism.

While there are some women who get off on being dominating, there are not many of them. And i'm talking about those that are 95% of the times dominating not about those that sometimes switch it for thrills.

 

---

 

Second, i have a cousin like the girl you are describing. She can never be happy because she expects the man to make her happy.

He is not responsible for her happiness and mess ups will always happen in relationships.

Your friend will either get a doormat she won't respect (from what you said), or die alone.

 

Bolded 1: Yes, this is very true. Nothing hotter than a man who knows what he is doing.

 

Bolded 2: As much as I wish her all the best, I can't help but agreeing with you. She doesn't expect a man to make her happy, but she thinks that if she finds a great man (emphasis on GREAT rather than seeing "crappy guys everywhere" as she puts in) then she will be happier in general. She wants to be in a relationship, she wants to have SEX, she wants to be intimate with a guy. THESE things make her her happy, and she feels good when she has great sex or cuddles with a great guy which also equates to happiness.

 

So you're right in saying that she expects a man to make her happy, but not in the way that you think. The man himself won't make her happy, but the by-products of having a man will (having company, being held by a strong masculine figure, feeling safe, protected and loved).

 

Any woman will admit that these things feel incredible. I hate being so picky because I miss having a man hold me, tell me all the things he loves about me and having him get all protective around other guys even though he doesn't have too. It's cute, it feels good and yes, it makes me feel good too.

 

I think she just really craves and misses that.

[Radu]

I'm not submissive... and I don't want a man who would be a doormat.

 

Emphasis in my post on 'general'.

Also, are you FS's friend ?

[FrustratedStandards]

No we aren't. We are simply familiar because of this forum.

 

Why do you ask?

[Anela]

Emphasis in my post on 'general'.

Also, are you FS's friend ?

 

No, I can just relate to her a bit. Should I be happy that you think I can't get a man, because I'm a monumental bitch? I've told more than one to shove off, because of the way they treated me, but that isn't quite the same thing.

[Anela]

No we aren't. We are simply familiar because of this forum.

 

Why do you ask?

 

I think it's because I've been responding here, in a defensive manner.

[yongyong]

tonight, I met this girl at a bar. She invited me to seat at the table with other 2 friends.

She said 'I need to get laid tonight!' to her friends in front of me. her friends said 'yeah she needs to get laid!'

I really didn't know what to say and acted like I didn't hear it.

I think she was just f-ing with me. what do you think I should've done?

[FrustratedStandards]

Ignored it.

 

Any woman as obnoxious as that is an idiot.

[Andy_K]

tonight, I met this girl at a bar. She invited me to seat at the table with other 2 friends.

She said 'I need to get laid tonight!' to her friends in front of me. her friends said 'yeah she needs to get laid!'

I really didn't know what to say and acted like I didn't hear it.

I think she was just f-ing with me. what do you think I should've done?

 

Tell her with a smile that she at least needs to buy you a drink first

[dasein]

She said 'I need to get laid tonight!' to her friends in front of me. her friends said 'yeah she needs to get laid!

 

What andy said and yeah, that's the oldest "drink sponging" act in the book. I just ignore it and leave asap, those are trash and aren't going to be laying anyone that night other than some FWB scuzzy drug dealer or tatted dirtbag you will never ever know about.

[Radu]

I think it's because I've been responding here, in a defensive manner.

 

It was because of the double tag team, i had a strange sensation that somewhere on this planet the 'horns of posting' were sounded to get many 'buxom' females to help their sister !!!

 

tonight, I met this girl at a bar. She invited me to seat at the table with other 2 friends.

She said 'I need to get laid tonight!' to her friends in front of me. her friends said 'yeah she needs to get laid!'

I really didn't know what to say and acted like I didn't hear it.

I think she was just f-ing with me. what do you think I should've done?

 

I would have asked her for her blood test and pap smear info.

Also for picture ID.

Edited April 30, 2012 by Radu

[yongyong]

I don't believe so. I usually go for classy girls. she had a feeling of classy british brunette who goes to medical school.

 

This is my weak point. I come from Asian culture. When I see a girl like that, I don't expect to bang her that night. So I can give her a good image to see her longer term. My friend has been telling me how even sweet & clean looking girls are slutty as hell and I should treat all american girls at a bar like a slut. I think I messed it up by not aggressively going after her

 

 

 

 

What andy said and yeah, that's the oldest "drink sponging" act in the book. I just ignore it and leave asap, those are trash and aren't going to be laying anyone that night other than some FWB scuzzy drug dealer or tatted dirtbag you will never ever know about.

[RedRobin]

There is no such thing as "Mr Right" or "Mr Right Now". There is only men that you like, and those you don't.

 

This whole "the one for you" is such a load of hollywood and new age crap. There are plenty of people we are capable of dating or settling down with, not just one.

 

So no, by dating other guys she isn't missing out on anything, she is simply dealing with one man until she realizes whether he will be worth it or not.

 

I never said I held a 'the one for you' mindset. I have basic standards when it comes to personal character and accountability.

 

I don't believe in keeping someone around as a f-buddy or being someone's f-buddy.

 

People have lots of nice ways to spin it... they call it a fling or a FWB. But basically all you are is a hole and all they are is a walking,talking dildo... attached to real-life consequences and drama. The kind we see every day on LS. No thanks. Not to mention, that the guy for me doesn't want a woman who has FWB or flings. I don't want a man who has them either.

 

I think it is low-class, smacks of desperation, and poor discipline. But that is just me.