KRIS87 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Hey all I have been in a relationship with this girl for 6 years. This has been a long distance relationship for most of the years though. However, I wanted to marry her. I wanted her to be the mother of my kids. I love her, I will forever. She loves me as well and we were caring and loving and what not you could expect in partners. But somehow strangely, nothing seems to fall in place off late. Suddenly, I have been getting this feeling that I am not ready for marriage. I spoke to her about issues that have been getting into my head for reasons unknown. i am 25 yrs old now. and have not settled down at all. I still have more to achieve and am really really unsure about my financial aspect of a marriage and starting a family. I don't want to let go off this girl. she just means a lot to me. I haven't been one day all these 6 years, without talking to her. Now, it has all changed. Last week, she calls me up and says that she needs to talk and that her parents need to know when she is getting married. So, we talked. I told her what I honestly feel about her and my life. She felt bad for me, but she told me this - "If you want to end our relationship right here, we could stop, Provided that it will benefit your future." I do not have a single clue on what I am doing and what I need to do! I can't move on without her in my life, nor can I marry her at this point. I am going to need at least 5 years to settle my debts and get financially stable and support my parents before I can take a decision about marriage and family. Please someone help me! What do I need to do now? Let the girl go or try to forget her and set my life up ? What would you do? Help? Please?
samsungxoxo Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Or you can find a girl that only wants to date and isn't marriage-minded. If marriage is what she wants while you don't then you must let her go so she can find someone that is on same page. Can't blame her though. I would have actually walked away by the 2nd year already. If it's a long distance relationship but I'm afraid there is nothing promising about that type of relationship. Your inner voice can be telling you that it's either simply not the right time or she's not the one. Sometimes love is confused to infactuation because my ex bf used to say the same old phrases (''Oh you're the love of my life, blah, blah'') till one day I got tired of it: too much talking and no action whatsoever, no goals, no nothing. So yes you're gonna have to let her go unfortunately.
foolish optimist Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If you're not ready to get married you're not ready to get married. Talk to her and tell her you want to marry her one day, but you're not ready yet. If she truly loves you, she will believe you are sincere and she will wait for you. If you want a 'gesture' or something, you have two options, give her a 'promise ring', it shows that you intend to marry in the future, but not right now. The alternative (much more risky and not recommended) move is you give her an engagement ring and tell her it will be a long engagement. Engagement does not mean you have to get married right away, although our generation is increasingly convinced that this is the case.
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