Cosmic Ray Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 First of all, I want to say hi to this great community . I have been reading you for some time so i decided to register in order to ask for opinion and to give one if i can Okay, I met this girl last year on some forum, but we started to get to know each other a few months ago ( beginning of February) after I came back to my country from being abroad for 6 months. At first I did not like her, nor her personality, but once we started to get to know each other, I started to like her and made myself clear about it (not in direct way, but more subtly) We went out three times and always had great time. We talk also quite a lot and enjoy our time together. I opened myself just enough to make her realize that I like her. Now, things got complicated. I got a call to go abroad again for at least 6 months period and she told me that she like someone else,and although she knows that won't work out and that if situation with her emotions is a bit different (she's all messy and she told me that before we talked about us), we could maybe be together. I told her, that no matter I would like her to be my girlfriend as no matter how complicated and puzzling for me she is at times (which is the reason I started to like her more than I wanted in the first place), it would be really painful for both of us, as I won't be here for more than half a year and that everything we start now would be in vain and that I just want both of us to enjoy until we separate. We'll keep in contact via Sms and Skype as much as possible, but it's really awkward situation for both of us, we just did not meet each other in right periods of our lives, to put it that way. Or we did? You see where I am hitting and why I am so puzzled? Although I am 7 years older than her (i am turning 30 in a few months) we get very well in almost every aspects of our lives. Then, something awkward happened a week ago. Out of blue, she came with the story how she can't see me as boyfriend material, but only as friend. I am friend zoned, I am very well aware of it, but I know exactly what and where i did wrong with her. When we met, i was in sorrow for my step-father's death which came suddenly, my family was falling apart (my brother is hooked up on heroin and that's destroying us all), i knew I am leaving my country again so I blocked both of us in the first meeting. She was flirting subtly with me, but i remained cold, i did not flirt with her, did not touch her (i.e. I was totally asexual with her), Now I am where I am because she don't feel any attraction with me... I lowered out chit-chats, I started to be more bold with her, but she is resisting. What I am asking myself (knowing where i did wrong) and you, is it possible to make her change her mind and could that incoming separation help me with her? I am more than sure that I placed myself where I am for above mentioned reasons and I am not blaming her not a little bit, but my ****ty life and things I am going through... P.S. As for something like introduction because I don't won't to be rude, I am from the Balkans and was born just on time to feel every aspect of bad situation which Balkans gone through in the last 20th years, while she lived life like under bell of glass and never felt anything like I was, hence I am more emotional than she is and actually glad she did not go through the horrors of the wars (in which i have had personal loss). I don't want to open myself too much as for personal reasons and privacy, but if someone want to ask me something personal, I would be glad to reply on PM's. All the best Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 i think you should get a lifestyle that doesn't take you away for half the year, but you know where you've gone wrong so do different, not sure about her friendzoning you, ask her why and then understand and do something about it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cosmic Ray Posted April 29, 2012 Author Share Posted April 29, 2012 i think you should get a lifestyle that doesn't take you away for half the year, but you know where you've gone wrong so do different, not sure about her friendzoning you, ask her why and then understand and do something about it I am leaving my country for a work and it's for at least 6 months (first time was 5,5 months), it's not that I want that, it's more of "need" to go as things in my life got really, but really awkward in the last 4 months and I need to leave all of this, or it's going to drive me to insanity-and I don't want that, of course . About friend zone I put myself, she told me that she don't feel any connection between us in that way ( she does not think I am ugly or anything like that because I am not, so that's out of question) so we go back to my observation why that happened in the first place, but although I know that women, just like men, like to flirt, why would she flirt with me every single time we were together just to come up to me saying that she never saw me as potential bf? She is 21 and had only one serious relationship and one not serious, so I believe that she isn't exactly sure what she wants and what she does not want. Also, she is single for more than a year (and don't feel like dating anyone, she likes it as it is-which is BS if you ask me) so that might make her move into comfort zone of being detached? Thank you for your insight . It would be nice to hear some other people, aside of advertisers Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cosmic Ray Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 Is there anyone else? I would really appreciate your contribution to my "case" as it means quite a lot to me Link to post Share on other sites
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