pretty_petal Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 hey! I was just reading some threads about girls having 'womens' intuition' and us girls 'just knowing' when somethings up with our bfs. It triggered a thought cos recently i have felt that something has been up... i've had that feeling of just knowing, so i thought i'd run it thru you lot (seeing as you all seem to give such good advice ). Well i've been with my bf over a year, we have a healthy, loving relationship inwhich we are best friends as well as bf and gf. I love him so much. There has only been one main problem in our 15 month relationship. It happened when we had been together for a month. So this happened ages ago... but i still really hurt about it. Ok, this is a long story, sorry!! A girl in my group of friends, lets call her fred, has a strange friendship with me. She is one of those people in every school that is quite pretty and funny but everyone hates her cos shes so annoying. Most people show her their hatred. I'm not like that tho, i feel sorry for her so i am friendly... but i wouldn't consider her a friend. Anyhoo... in the first week of my relationship she asked 'doesn't it upset you that other girls flirt with your bf', i said no cos i know he only likes me in that way (i was smitten at that point). Then from that day she flirted majorly all the time. It got to the point where he would be chatting to her thru the window of her school bus and blank me when i said goodbye, if he said goodye it was literally 'bye, see you tomorrow'. When he said goodbye to her he had his arms round her waist + she had her arms around his neck. Then one break time she asked if i would like to go see him. So, thinking that was a bit weird, i went with her. When we got there she said that we should TALK. and kept hinting that we should... TALK. So she left us alone to TALK (she emphasised the 'talk' when she spoke). He didn't talk to me so i went after her and asked what was going on. She said that he was insecure about the relationship cos i had briefly spoken about commitment at one point and that caused him to be insecure. My next lesson was with him and i asked him about this. He said that she had gotten it all wrong. He was worried i might cheat on him cos all his exes had cheated on him and he had been hurt. I promised i wouldn't (and to this day i have kept the promise). Then another friend asked why i looked upset and i told her what had happened. She told me a different story... that my bf no longer wanted to be with me, thought i liked him more than he liked me etc etc. But she had heard it from another person. Fred had told my entire class and other people in my year. Why had my bf told fred this anyway??? She was known to be the biggest loud mouth in my school. nice move from him there. I confronted fred again and she said that yes, he was going to split up with me. i mustn't break up with him first tho, i must let him finish it. I shouldn't talk on IM or the phone or text cos 'surley i would prefere to be dumped in person??'. Then she said that i could do better than him. Incidently, later that day a girl came up to me and said that fred had said that he could do so much better than me. rude. To cut a very long story short...... over a year later my bf and i are still going strong. I did ask fred to stop flirting with my bf, she swore she wasn't, but the flirting stopped anyway. But now my suspicians have been aroused again. My bf got a new cell phone that has a camera in it. He took a photo of her through her bus window and said it was 'cos he was trying to annoy her'. Thing is, he goes through all his pictures when i'm with him to show me new ones (hes into photography). He deletes photos of me, his friends, his family and other random things. But still, months later, this picture of fred is still there. He has female friends within his friend circle, i get on well with all of them. He takes photos of them all the time and always deletes them... but not this photo. Recently she comes up to us and completely ignores me and chats to my bf. She gives him stickers and random stupid presents which he always accepts. He took photos of him with a sticker from her on his nose. now... he isn't immature, hes not goofy, hes a really sensible, intellectual guy - normally. but around her acts a complete idiot to make her laugh, he plays her silly games and sticks things on his nose. Also he completely blanks me. I was sitting with him the other day and she came along. she offered him a glow in the dark sticker, he took it and off they went with their stupid little jokes and games. I had to go catch a bus so i said goodbye, fred said goodbye to me but my bf ignored me. I waited for a response. nothing happened. I was in the canteen last week and i was studying for exams. He came over and put his arms around me and gave me a tiny kiss on my neck - being the adorable bf he normally is. Fred was sitting on a table near me and said to another girl ' ew, gross, get off her'. My bf and i looked at her and she was like 'oh sorry i thought you were (insert name)'. She always does this if he so much as holds my hand. My bf also talks to me about her sometimes. I have a prom soon and i'm going with my bf. Fred wasn't going cos she was on holiday but now she is gonna go. I'm now going to have to put up with an eveing of flirting. yey. Sorry it was long. I don't really have a question, i would just like some opinions from other people. Am i just being silly about this? to everyone else does it seem like nothings wrong?? If so pls say cos then i can get over it. Thank you in advance for any comments Link to post Share on other sites
Author pretty_petal Posted June 21, 2004 Author Share Posted June 21, 2004 A little insight? a few opinions? no? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pretty_petal Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 good going with the advice there. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarmama Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 It seems as if you needto get rid of this guy and find some one who actually is into you and not "Fred" He does not seem to be loving and going strong with you when sometimes you seem to be the last priority. I feel bad to say these things, But I feel also feel bad for you that he is treating you this way. Yeah, you two have been together for 15 months but is feeling lowsy about yourself and your relationship with him once in awhile worth it. You should feel confident about being with him and him not talking to, spend time with and especially not flirting with other girls. I think you need to step up to the plate and let him know it is either seclusive with just you and him or you are going to look else where for a guy who will treat you like you shoudl be treatted. Don't let this continue to happen or else this guy will think he is bigger better by each day! Link to post Share on other sites
Author pretty_petal Posted June 24, 2004 Author Share Posted June 24, 2004 Thank you sugarmama! I think, having read your reply, i have come up with an idea. Tho i think it is going to have to be approved by someone first. My prom is in a weeks time. We are all off school now cos most exams are over. Cos 'fred' and my bf don't talk out of school this means they won't talk for about 2 weeks. I will see how the prom goes. if my bf crosses 'the line' i will talk to him about it the next day. If he is good to me then i won't cos 95% of the time he is the perfect bf. I don't wanna end it as we are leaving our school formerly next week and bf and fred are going to different colleges and won't have contact. Thank you again x Link to post Share on other sites
Author pretty_petal Posted June 24, 2004 Author Share Posted June 24, 2004 oh... i forgot to add: I don't mind him spending time with girls and talking to them cos i trust him with all other girls, just not fred cos of the way she treated the situation at the beginning of my relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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