mullaney Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 could some of you share your stories of being in a relationship where the other person is close to you then decides they can't be then are close to you again, etc. etc? in my situation, the woman and i have been seeing each other a few months. every couple of weeks she freaks out and says it feels too much like a relationship so she backs out - only to come back asking to give her another chance because she realizes how much i mean to her, how much she loves me... it's caused so much hurt on this end but the thing is, we are BOTH afraid to get into a serious relationship..i just handle it a bit differently (i.e. don't run away, rather, deal with it head on). there is such a potential for an amazing relationship but i honestly don't know if i can deal with the back and forth of her emotions - not to THIS extent, anyway. what have you guys done about this sort of thing? Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Situations like yours amaze me. I can't imagine being there. When someone abandons you like she has, how are you able to take them back over and over and trust them again? Do you find yourself holding back, trying to protect yourself? Or once she comes back, do you just give it your all? Once someone hurts me like that, I have to have a lot of time to trust them again. That is, if I ever do. Sometimes it's just too much-I never get past it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mullaney Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 thanks for your reply. i've known what i needed to do for myself and finally did it lastnight. i broke it off completely with her. she said she wanted to be "friends and more" to which i said, no. end of story...and i do mean the end. you're right - it's too much for anyone to have to go back and forth like that. it took me a little longer than i liked to stand up to her..stand up for myself. it was a learning experience but one i would not like to repeat. thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 I consider myself a pretty sane, strong person. But I've done some awfully crazy things (for me, anyway) because of love. Love will just run you absolutely crazy if you're not careful. God, it's like a drug or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mullaney Posted June 23, 2004 Author Share Posted June 23, 2004 you're right. thing is, this is my second time in a row going through this sort of thing. "i love you but..." "you're wonderful but..." "it's me not you" blah blah. up and down every other week has been exhausting for the ego and the body. i'm wondering what attracts me to the emotionally unavailable or if it's a projection of myself? i tend to stick things out and work on them whereas i've found most people now-a-days treat people like throwaways..temporaries...instant take ins and give aways. know what i mean? it's sad, really. i feel like i should start being an a**hole because being nice has just gotten my heart broken...i couldn't do it but it has crossed my mind. i'm not playing "victim" btw. i'm just hurt right now. Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 i'm wondering what attracts me to the emotionally unavailable or if it's a projection of myself? I wonder about this, too. I have had lots of people in my life that were somewhat manic. I have wondered what I do to attract them. How do they find me? I tend to be a caretaker, so I suit them very well. I used to find it hard to get out of those relationships. I've had to develop a sense of who these people are to stay away from them. Link to post Share on other sites
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