8+ Weeks of NC, now what?

[who_knew]

I know that NC is not meant as a way to get your ex back. Maybe it can cause them to wonder what is up and if they have truly moved on, but it often meant as a way to get over the other or to start fresh.

 

I've been in NC for 8+ weeks now and I'm pretty proud because if I wasn't thinks would probably be getting worse with my ex. I honestly am still conflicted on her right now, I am probably not over her, but I have realized my faults in the relationship and hoped to have a fresh start. I know time can heal things, but what does NC do in favor for me other than this. Will my ex start to forget about the **** times in our relationship? Honestly, there is no answer.

 

I keep thinking I should just keep NC, but I still miss her and I want to know how she is doing. We will be both back home from college in the next few weeks and I'm contact her if she's doesn't contact me by then. I would honestly want to be friends with her, but I want to know if she does have anymore feelings for me cause I know that our distance in college was a major factor for this relationship falling apart and maybe being back home will reinforce a different idea. If start to feel like she doesn't want anymore I am fully ready to deal with letting her fully go, because I've been in this limbo where I wasn't sure if I had closure, but I feel like I need it to move on.

 

So I won't be contacting her for a few more weeks until I'm done with school, because I don't need any drama right now. Any thoughts?

[dandan89]

Well you've done well in the NC so far. If I were in your shoes I'd honestly have to say I would probably do what your planning even if it might be the wrong thing to do. As they all say, if she wants you she will let you know. But I do understand you just wanting to know, but you've got to be patient.

 

A lot of people say they want to be friends but trust me it is really painful! Being with that person and not being able to touch, smell, kiss and hold them is agony and then when you leave it hurts even more. I think when we think I just want to be there friend at least, deep down we want to prove ourselves, show them how awesome we are to try and get them back but I don't really think this works. And if you do just wanna be friends then you've got to heal first so you have no romantic feelings for that person. Otherwise you'll be straight back to square one when they meet someone else.

 

If you do contact her maybe give her a couple of weeks of being home before contact.

 

I wish you the best man!

[who_knew]

Thanks!

 

I just need to know for sure where we are. I keep thinking this time apart would have done us good, but maybe it just made her move on easier and kept me in the same place. I feel like I NEED to know though. Otherwise I'll forever be in this limbo.

 

I don't know how to initiate contact either. By the time I contact her it will be 9-10 weeks.

 

I know what you mean about how we just want to be their friend at least to show them how awesome we can be, but isn't it worth the risk? If all goes well then I can just forget about her and truly move on.

 

I'm just in a tough spot.

[geegirl]

Thanks!

 

I just need to know for sure where we are. I keep thinking this time apart would have done us good, but maybe it just made her move on easier and kept me in the same place. I feel like I NEED to know though. Otherwise I'll forever be in this limbo.

 

I don't know how to initiate contact either. By the time I contact her it will be 9-10 weeks.

 

I know what you mean about how we just want to be their friend at least to show them how awesome we can be, but isn't it worth the risk? If all goes well then I can just forget about her and truly move on.

 

I'm just in a tough spot.

 

I'm confused. She broke up with you. She said she was not ready for a relationship. What about that makes you ponder on "where we are" or even feel the need to break NC to test the waters?

 

The past 8 weeks, all you've done is sit there and hope. NC is about finally realizing that it's over and using it to move on. But all you did was create space hoping she would change her mind. You kept away only because you were planning to, at some point see if she wants you back.

 

1) You cannot be friends with someone you are emotionally attached to so move on regardless 2) She broke up with you and she needs to be the one to make the move if she wants you back 3) Hold on to your dignity and be a man. No woman finds a man who behaves this way attractive.

 

If someone wants you back, they will find you. You're the only one that keeps yourself in limbo. The problem is you just don't want to let go.