Anti-social depression issue

[DontWorryBHappy]

I have a problem that I am wondering if anyone else has. Actually I don't even know if you can definitely classify it as a problem, but it seems like one to me. I often don't want to talk to people that I'm around. This includes family, or anyone else that I have to be around without it being my choice. I took a semester off school (college) and now I'm living with my dad. Maybe a month ago I was living with my mom and brother, but I often didn't want to communicate with them, as I mentioned. What I mean by that is: I just wouldn't have anything that I wanted to say, and wouldn't have any interest in hearing about what they would say.. So I would keep to myself most of the time and spend a lot of time in my room. My brother started becoming offended because I would go days without saying much at all to him. If he wanted to do something with me or talk or anything, I would usually not feel like it. The worst part is that I actually don't like feeling this way, and would rather be social and happy to be around people. So sometimes I try to sort of "fake" being social and interested in hanging out, but it's almost a little painful to do so, because it feels like I'm forcing myself.

 

I often feel guilty about being this way. I don't want my family to see me as a miserable anti-social person. It's not just confined to family either.. I was like this when I was at school with my roommates. But it's almost like I can't help acting that way. I'm wondering if it's a type of depression or something. Since I've had a semester off school, I've had a lot of time on my hands. So maybe since I've been sort of isolated, it makes me feel isolated (so I end up isolating myself further).. I'm hoping it will improve when I start working next week (got a couple part time jobs). Let me know if anyone else has experienced anything similar.

[Forever Learning]

It could be a form of depression. Or it just could be who you are. Were you always like this most of your life? Or did you used to be more outgoing?

 

I absolutely know what you mean, and I am in my early 40's. There are many times I don't want to socialize with my family or co-workers, but I would force myself to do so, so I wouldn't alienate them. Alot of them were/are people who I don't like..... but can't really escape them.

 

That's life sometimes with family and/or co-workers. If it gets too bad, I change places of employment, if all else fails, regarding sh*theads at work. Family is harder to escape from, so I minimize the interaction.

 

You gotta do what you gotta do, to keep the negative people away in life.

 

And I do try to see the good in people. But some people suck and it's just not pleasant being around them. I have these type people in several areas of life, and I just deal with it. I think you are pretty normal. Just not a social butterfly. And that is TOTALLY COOL, by the way. Cheers!

[Feelin Frisky]

... Just not a social butterfly. ..

 

You're too modest. I think you're quite the ice-breaker (bait and tackle not withstanding).

 

To the OP, your condition sound like something known as "dysthymia". It's a sot of low level depression in which you find yourself almost always declining social invitation, perhaps never initiating social get-togethers, and more suferrers than not tend to wear clothes that tend to camouflage them (hats, beards, shades, generally disconnected and just passing through kind of look). I know it well because I recognized it in myself at times. I'm not naturally like that and am very chatty and initiate conversation with strangers but there have been periods in my longish life where I always felt like I was living at about 85% instead of 90 or a really go-getting 95+. I've been on Prozac since 1990 and it has helped phenomenally. I still have fan eating disorder which results in weight gain and that causes me to be a little tepid with strangers because of the continuing bias against the overweight, but I'm never sullen--ever. I am not a chatter box about minutia and my history of going it alone has allowed me to develop a very strong political compass that has me squarely on the altruistic and idealistic tree-hugger side but I can bottle that enough to get along in person with anyone (who isn't trying to shove a confederate flag in my face:p).

 

One medication that I found really excellent at unlocking me from a down period is call Wellbutrin. I find I almost immediately start dressing better, grooming myself--that kinda stuff that healthy folks just do without thinking. It has side effects I don't like so I don't take it all the time but it can really help snap one out of that ebbing 85% where you're not "depressed" and hopeless but just resigned to wanting to be by yourself so you can just veg.

 

By all means see a doctor and get a referral to a psychiatrist. These are wonderful times because science and medicine has really found the ability to allow people to tune themselves up without getting high or drunk. Nothing works instantly--it's a process of adjusting your brain chemistry much like adjusting the fuel and timing on your automobile engine. If you are not firing on all cylinders at the right intervals, this makes people want to just withdraw so that they can control the pace of everything--which is often NOTHING. It's worth seriously looking into and you could really turn yourself around. Best of luck.