Really tricky situation

[Beth_84]

[FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][sIZE=3][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][sIZE=3]We have always had a very close/flirty working relationship/friendship, we have everything common, really understand each other and have a very deep connection with we've both acknowledged.

 

 

Anyway since Christmas we have hooked up a few, very drunken times, which I hate myself for as he has a girlfriend (it's a really bad relationship but that's no excuse I no). However things always stayed normal before us until last month.

 

 

He split up with his girlfriend and made it quite clear to me that he wanted us to be more than friends/co-workers, which surprised me because I always just thought it was a drunken hook up, but given the connection we have I was interested to explore where that could go, then he suddenly gets back with his ex.

 

 

 

I told him that his behaviour had been hurtful towards me, but that I respected his decision and (foolishly perhaps) I thought everything would go back to normal between us.

 

 

Things were fine between us at first but over the last week things have been getting more awkward between us, I have just been myself around him, I have tried to be less flirty, but normal and I have started seeing someone else. But he seems to be putting up a barrier. We would always go shopping for work stuff together, and now he avoids taking me at all cost. We would always call each other darling or sweetie (I do this with everyone) and suddenly he will call me by name or nothing at all, I'm quite a tactile person and it's nothing unusual for me to put a hand on someone's arm but if I do that to him I can feel his body tense up. When he was out the office for the day we would always be on the phone with each other now he will only send a text if he can and only send one word responses.

 

 

I can't stand how awkward things are becoming between us and I really want to resolve this issue. I completely respect that we need to be less flirty and will no longer allow situation where me him and alcohol are in the same place. But his complete change in behaviour is really bothering and confusing me.

 

 

So I guess what I want to know is Does he no longer like me as a person? Does he regret going back to his girlfriend and not seeing where things went with me? Should I talk to him and clear the air about how I feel or should I just stick my head in the sand?

 

 

I may not have helped things last week, a friend of mine died and I did push him away and he seemed really angry when I did that.

He has just renewed my contract today, so he is not considering firing me or wanting me to quit.

 

 

[/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][sIZE=3]We used to have such a great working dynamic and friendship, I just want things to be like that again. Any advice would be much appreciated.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[spiderowl]

It sounds to me like he enjoys your company, was with someone else but happy to flirt and have flings. You obviously weren't averse to risking getting into an awkward situation with him. Then, for some reason unknown to us, he and his girlfriend split up - he may have left or she did. He then sought to develop a relationship with you instead because he didn't want to feel alone and rejected, but actually wanted his girlfriend back. As soon as he gets her back, he realises she's not going to put up with him flirting and having drunken flings any longer. She puts her foot down and spells out the rules. Now he's got to be careful what he does or he'll lose her. You are the unwitting pawn in his whole drama.

 

I know you want him but I think it would be less hurtful to you if you did the same as him and pretty much froze him out. It would teach him it's not a nice way to treat people. Also, you would not have the upsetting situation of approaching him in a friendly way and finding him cold and rejecting. I think you'd be beating your head against the wall if you did. You deserve someone better than this guy who really doesn't know how to respect people.