Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 What do you all think about guys going to strip clubs while in a relationship? I was having a conversation with my ex (were getting back together) last night and he thinks its should be okay with me if he and his friends go to the strip club once or twice. I didnt agree and we just agreed to disagree. I'm wondering if i am over reacting. I actually trust my guy so if he went I wouldn't think about him possibly cheating but rather the fact that he would go knowing how uncomfortable I am with it. Would you females just go with your guy? I need perspective. He has never been before, and he said it probably wont happen cause its not that he really has much interest in going but if it were to happen that his friends wanted to go he sees no problem with it. And what about if he is getting lap dances........... I know i cant control it of course Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I'm a guy and I wouldn't want my daughter to be with a guy that goes to strip clubs. Case closed. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I don't think you're over-reacting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 That is what I was thinking...what if it is just once? Not like a regular thing. And would it be weird to go with him because im that uncomfortable with it? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 If my GF went to Chippendales for the night, I don't think I would care. Don't see why girls make a big deal out of it. Having said that, I snuck into a strip club when I was 16. It was kinda ****ty and I remember not liking it. Haven't been to one since. Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 That is what I was thinking...what if it is just once? Not like a regular thing. And would it be weird to go with him because im that uncomfortable with it? Strip clubs are lame and neither one of you have to get a lap dance. If it's just once, why not try to meet him halfway and go with him? You could take him up on his offer to go with him so he can "scratch that itch" and get it out of his system. If you decide to do this, I would work out an agreement that you two will leave if it gets really uncomfortable for you or better yet, just meet him there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 Okay....say he goes and I decided I don't want to go and I feel very uncomfortable that he is going, so I ask him not to and he still does, is it worth breaking up with him over? Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Okay....say he goes and I decided I don't want to go and I feel very uncomfortable that he is going, so I ask him not to and he still does, is it worth breaking up with him over? I would break up with him if he goes, knowing that it would upset you. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 To me and some women, strip clubs are nothing. Not a big deal at all. Where as it is a big deal to a lot of women. You have to do what feels right by you - if you need a guy who only has eyes fr YOUR body and no other womens - find a guy who has these values. Some men, when they are into a women and super in love with them, they will not look at other women, or really check them out, even if a suepr hot women walks past them on the street. On the other hand, other men are also really into and really in love with their women, but also enjoy looking at beautiful women. They do not want those women more than their own girl, but just enjoy the looking part. If your guy goes to a trip club, it does not necessarily mean he is LESS interested in YOU - a lot of men will like to go to strip clubs no matter HOW MUCH they love their girlfriends. It does not make them cheaters, liars, or douches. I would not date a guy if he went to strip clubs because he was not really into me, and needed to look at hotter girls because he was not satisfied enough with me; and would one day find a girl who he WAS into, and stop going to strip clubs and look at other girls. Where as it is different if it is just who the guy IS; he would enjoy stri clubs with girls he is truly into and in love with. YOu should have an honest conversation with your guy. If he is a decent person, he will be honest with u! You should establish if he is into you, and if looking at other naked girls are something he will always enjoy, or something he only wants when he has a girl that is not good enough for him. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I feel very uncomfortable What say you address the problem, and leave the symptoms alone? Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Okay....say he goes and I decided I don't want to go and I feel very uncomfortable that he is going, so I ask him not to and he still does, is it worth breaking up with him over? If my GF had a problem like you do with strip clubs and I choose to go anyway... I would expect her to dump me. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 let him go and enjoy himself with his friends. if it's a one time or rare thing there really isn't any harm in it. if he does it on a regular basis that could be a problem, because he might be comparing the women he sees to you. men like to look at women, and especially so when they are nude or nearly so. show your own confidence by letting him go. you do have the right to ask that he be 'hands off' with the women and not get any lap dances though; tell him you're ok with a 'look but don't touch' type of night out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 If my GF had a problem like you do with strip clubs and I choose to go anyway... I would expect her to dump me. When I told him that I might feel the need to dump him for choosing to go anyway knowing how uncomfortable I am..he said that it would be on me cause he would be going there without having cheated or anything and compared it to naked girls on tv. He said it would be like foolish to break up with him for that Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAnimals Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I am girl and i have gone to strip clubs with my guy friends and twice with some friends including my bf. It does not bother me at all. In fact my bf looked bored and spent his time loking at me haha Anyway if its a one time thing i dont see a problem with it. Now if it becomes an obsession than yea i would mind, like anything else. Perhaps you should join him and if you feel uncomfortable you both can agree to leave Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAnimals Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 oh but i would mention that lap dances is a no go. Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 When I told him that I might feel the need to dump him for choosing to go anyway knowing how uncomfortable I am..he said that it would be on me cause he would be going there without having cheated or anything and compared it to naked girls on tv. He said it would be like foolish to break up with him for that I would break up with him for having this attitude alone. If he has so little regard for your feelings about a strip club, what do you think he is going to be like with other disagreements or boundaries that you have? Flush this immature turd. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 There is also porn and naked girls on TV, and much more attractive girls than you around him every day - if your guy is into you, he will chose you over these more beautiful girls, because what YOU guys have is way too special to throw away just because a girl is super hot. Touching the girls butts and boobs, and touching other girls in general, is another story - looking means nothing, it just means a guy likes looking at hot girls - touching and wanting to do things with them, is having his cake ( you), and eating it, too ( stll getting fun with hotter girls, even though he has a great girlfriend he is attracted to plenty) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 Idk. I'm uncomfortable with it whether I go or not. I'll know im only going just cause i would rather him not be there alone. And actually he is very much so attracted to me and doesnt feel any need to look at other girls because he is very satisfied with me. And he had no problem with me saying if he goes, I go. But this isnt even about him really wanting to go but his friends wanting him to and him not seeing an issue. It just sucks and im hoping it never actualy happens cause I honestly may contemplate a break up...just saying Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 What say you address the problem, and leave the symptoms alone? She keeps saying she finds it uncomfortable but without being specific as to why this rare event is so uncomfortable that she is prepared to break up her relationship with this guy. Because he's not doing what she wants, or because he going to see a better set of tits and that is going to cause havoc with her self esteem. IDK. As leigh touched on...have you installed some xxx website blocking software on the PC just in case he gets the urge to see. Do you prefer not watching european films at home in case some nudity appears? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Idk. I'm uncomfortable with it whether I go or not. I'll know im only going just cause i would rather him not be there alone. And actually he is very much so attracted to me and doesnt feel any need to look at other girls because he is very satisfied with me. And he had no problem with me saying if he goes, I go. But this isnt even about him really wanting to go but his friends wanting him to and him not seeing an issue. It just sucks and im hoping it never actualy happens cause I honestly may contemplate a break up...just saying If he is totally attracted to you and you are enough for him, why does it bother you? Do you not want your boyfriend to ever see naked women again, just because he loves you? Some guys, even when they love a girl are they ARe attractive enough for them, they will STILL enjoy looking at hot girls around them, naked and clothed. If it bothers you, u need to find a guy who will only have eyes for you, and neevr even LOOK at other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 She keeps saying she finds it uncomfortable but without being specific as to why this rare event is so uncomfortable that she is prepared to break up her relationship with this guy. Because he's not doing what she wants, or because he going to see a better set of tits and that is going to cause havoc with her self esteem. IDK. As leigh touched on...have you installed some xxx website blocking software on the PC just in case he gets the urge to see. Do you prefer not watching european films at home in case some nudity appears? She, being I. Do I have to be insecure about my own body not to want him to go to a strip club? If that was the case, I wouldn't want him to be around girls period because there are beaches with girls in bikinis. Can it not be the simple fact that it is a STRIP CLUB that he would purposely be going to..not a random club or place where girls happened to get naked, and that make me feel uncomfortable without having a specific reason why? Because I don't. I simply dont like the idea of my boyfriend wanting to go to a strip club when he is with me. I cant explain it any other way. My self esteem is very high, my looks are very good and im not just saying that because I am on a website where u cant see me... In fact, I could do better if anything. He is going to go if his friends or fam wants him to go, not because its an idea of his. And if this ever happens, I'll handle it but i am pretty sure I will still feel very uncomfortable. Whether or not I choose to break things off.. but if he goes knowing that i'm this uncomfortable with it and that because of that i could possibly want to end things, hes not worth it. Cause after the party is over hes single and I'd hope it was a great night compared to what could have been a continuous great relationship... not saying I may not compromise though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 Might I add we were in a LDR for most of our time together anyway so if I was that insecure about other women it would have been an issue but it wasn't...my good looks are enough to suffice. However I appreciate the honest' opinions Link to post Share on other sites
crazylove Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I think the going along with him is a good idea. If you're really not comfortable with that, then just remember, it will be you he'll be going home to. The women in the clubs are pretty much treated as objects. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Might I add we were in a LDR for most of our time together anyway so if I was that insecure about other women it would have been an issue but it wasn't...my good looks are enough to suffice. However I appreciate the honest' opinions I'm like ThaWholigan, it wouldn't and in fact has not phased me when a gf has gone to something like a Chippendales night. Viewing dirtygirls.com or hiring Showgirls or Last Tango In Paris movies, are kind of in the same realm for me, maybe potentially even more of an issue since they don't come with the drinking and socialising with your mates element. Obviously I see things differently. Given that this is a fairly rare event, and he is not 'jumping up and punching the air' in excitment over it, then I don't appreciate the damage this can do your relationship...beyond you saying no, and him ignoring you. You yourself said you are currently reigniting a great relationship, so from the male perspective, I see it from the flip side of why kill this relationship over a few hours of him having beers and watching a strip show with his mates, if you totally trust him, its not a regular aspect of his behaviour and will not change him. (its rhetotical question...I realise you just dont change people's minds when it comes to an issue like this) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lionblue92 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 I can understand this, so, if it ever happens (please no)...hopefully he invites me to go or otherwise I will invite myself (while being insulted he didn't invite me) cause I told him if he went I would have to go) ..and i will see how it goes. However it happened more than once, MAYBE twice while we were together, I couldn't do it. And he definitely cannot get a lap dance, in fact, I'll probably be sitting in his lap the whole time.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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