SWilli08 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 My fiancé and I have been dating for a year and recently got engaged. We also have a 5 month old and I really need some advice on if I should marry the guy. My fiancé told me that wanted to get back with his ex girlfriend but then I came along and changed all that. They broke up because she wpuld rather get high and sleep arpund then be with him. His mother always talked about her in front of me about how wonderful she was. It sounds crazy but I feel that he still has left over feelings for her and I'll never be close with his mother. My fiancé says that he loves his daughter and I and wants nothing to do with his ex but I saw a notification on the main feed of facebook that he subscribed to his ex's mom after I asked him to delete her. His ex signed up for the army and her mom constantly posts pics of her and writes about what his ex is up to. Now I'm not one to snoop but I couldn't help but look after I saw that Another thing that bugs is that he and his ex have matching tattoos and he refuses to get them covered up or removed and claims one of them is his favorite. I talked to him about this and he just got mad at me I don't know if I'm paranoid or of I should be worried. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Sorry but you should never be in a relationship where the shadows of the ex are constantly there. Because then there will always be the possibility that the ex will come back. Don't do this to yourself. If its for your daughter you deeserve to find a man who will love you unconditionally and still treat your daughter as his own. Learn to walk away from unhealthyh relationships only then will you find happiness and build up your selfesteem. Link to post Share on other sites
TakeMeasIam Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 I think people refer to a post like this as full of 'red flags'...... Your daughter's secure and happy future does not necessarily involve being married to her father. And certainly, neither does yours. If you already have some doubts, uncertainties, second thoughts, worries or misgivings - then listen to them. Intuition of this type, in a woman, is rarely wrong. This is your gut instinct. Your gut is telling you something. Take heed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SWilli08 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 Thank you all so much for replying back. It's nice getting advice from people outside of the situation. I greatly appreciate it. And you guys are right I should follow my intuition Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Don't do it. I stayed in a relationship like that for 3 1/2 years. When you start off with a bad foundation, especially one where it's clear the ex outshadows you with his family and he's not willing to totally and completely sever ties with his ex, you are doing well not to marry this guy. There are people who complain and gripe about how 'damaging' divorce is. Can you imagine what your daughter would see if you were married to this guy 5 years down the road? She'd see your insecurities about his ex, most likely - maybe she'd ever see her father leave you so he could get back with his ex one day. That's not a good foundation for either of you. Plenty of divorced couples (or never-wed couples) can get along blissfully and raise their kids successfully in two separate homes. I would explain that you feel it's best that you break off the engagement and begin seeing other people. If he asks you why, I would explain honestly - but don't let him lull you back in. I think you're right to be concerned. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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