mr_miner Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Well, now it's my turn to get all bent out of shape about a call from the ex. I broke up with her about a month ago. Then a little while after, I had interest in possibly getting back together with her. I met up with her to resolve some issues about two weeks ago and she told me not to call her anymore and although she still loved me, etc, etc, we just couldn't be together. So I stopped calling and have made serious, serious progress in the last two weeks. I've accepted that it's over. I never expect her to call and don't really care when she doesnt. I'm hanging out a lot with friends and having a decent time with that. So last night at 5am she calls me. I woke up today to see the call there. Now I'm all geeked out because everything was running so smoothly for me and this has to come and disrupt my flow. Help me out here people. Link to post Share on other sites
Blah Toolz Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 You broke up with her or she broke up with you...? Should help me in my answer a little bit. Other than that, it's a call at 5am. If no message was left or anything... then I think it's best to just disregard the call. Play it off like she called you by accident, and keep going the way you've been going. When I first initiated no-contact, that was when my ex started calling me again. Late at night/early morning like yours did. Just disregard the call and keep on doing, I think that's the best way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
simplybrill Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 I think it would be best to totally ignore the call. I definitely know the wierded out feeling, when my ex decided to call it was at like midnight, when the chickens*** knew I wouldnt be awake to answer, hah. They do it to test their limits, so next time she calls dont answer, because it breaks the whole "we're broken up, you need to move to a different planet, im not talking to you anymore moron" flow...or she'll think she can keep calling, and then she'll think its ok to drop by your place, and who knows where else! You gotta show her where your new boundaries lie with this stuff. To keep her totally out of your life and messin up your flow of things, dont give her the thrill of knowing you're still around by answering her calls and such- keep on with what you've been doing, keep busy-good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
estakado Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Listen to the message then call back again like 2 days later or something...keep it busy bro Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr_miner Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 Thanks guys for the kind words. I spoke with her today. She said she was just drunk and called me up, not much else. We spoke for about 20 minutes, which was nice because we always had a pretty decent friendship beneath our relationship. Nothing too serious ever came up. It just sucks because I was doing so well. I had come to the point where I never, ever expected her to call--and didn't want her to because I knew how much it would screw things up for me. But, I'll have to get back on track with this and just keep moving forward. Like you always say, estakdo, just keep moving forward every day. Later. Link to post Share on other sites
Good2Go Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Her getting drunk is no excuse to screw up your world. Next time she called, I'd tell her to call whoever she went out with besides me and hang up the phone with a great big freakin THUD! Link to post Share on other sites
Blah Toolz Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Yeah... heh, I wouldn't put it quite as harsh as Good2Go did... but like I hinted at in my post -- just disregard it like it was an accidental call. Which is how I would view a drunken phone call at 5am.... I mean, what the ****. That's not showing you any respect or love. Keep on keeping on. Link to post Share on other sites
estakado Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Blah Toolz & mr_miner: See and thats the killer part of this whole thing....they know how we feel about them and they do this just to get off on it...even if they FEEL like they dont mean it. How hard is it to make a decision on their end right now? Its like they dont know that RIGHT NOW would be the best time for any of our ex'es to get back together with us and get everything and anything that they ever wanted! I mean shoot they already walk all over us [literally]! I mean naw we aint gonna let them just take us over but the idea of it.....Man they just dont know! Of course the best time to meet new women is when you dont care about meeting new women, which is why we get lots of play when we were with our ex's versus now when we are broken. Yeah its all good bros, we are all just waiting for them when it "all falls down" and then we can decide yay or nay. Most likely its nay, because where were they when we were ballin our eyes out? Where were the calls when we had a bad day at work because we spent all time thinking and worrying about them..... Yeah NC continues, keep posting here bros but I wanna see whos the first of us now to post in the dating section.....I hope its soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr_miner Posted June 28, 2004 Author Share Posted June 28, 2004 It's happened again. Today, she called me again. I checked my voicemail and she said she was having a bad day and wanted to get some lunch with me. So I called her back and we ended up meeting for some lunch. But goddamn she seemed especially annoying. I guess in many ways the way she acted reminded me of why we don't work. She mentioned during lunch how she had had a crush on some guy but now she didn't. After lunch she wanted to come over. So we went back to my place. At one point, she said she was tired and wanted to sleep a little and was laying on my couch. She never really said anything like "Lay down with me," etc., and I remained strong and didn't make any moves at all. The whole thing is a bit weird to me. I don't know what to make of it. Link to post Share on other sites
amped1 Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 basically sh-t didn't pan out with the other guy so now she's flaunting her to you to build her confidence up again. Link to post Share on other sites
estakado Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 mr_miner: So from your last meeting I guess that you got your answer then right? Maybe the timing is off right now for you guys to get back together or maybe she is just talking to you because she a had a bad day from that dude and she is using you as a safetyvalve. Either way your gonna have to make a decision soon on whether or not you wanna pursue this or let it go. It suxs to let it go, just like on my end, but if you do at least you can count on time being your best friend in order to heal you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr_miner Posted July 5, 2004 Author Share Posted July 5, 2004 estakado, I actually have very little interest in getting back together with her (been moving along strongly). But I just find the fact that she's been calling me perplexing since she told me 4 weeks ago not to call her, and I haven't since (except to return her calls when she's called me). I just can't help but wonder what the hell this girl still wants from me. Two nights ago, she called twice around 2am (she was sober). She knew I was out of town and at a family gathering (that went late into the night) but still decided to call anyway. I called her back. We spoke for a bit. At one point, she asked me if was seeing someone and I said: "I don't want to talk about that." For me, it's fine to chat with her here and there, but I'm not interested in talking about who I'm seeing or am not seeing or who she is seeing or is not seeing. At another point she asked if me it was okay for her to be calling me to talk as friends, basically insinuating that I was still this confused pile of emotional mush who was still not close to being over her and thus might not be able to handle us being in contact. I reminded her that I hadn't once called her since she told me not to, and that she's the one who has been calling me. Little does she know that I don't even need to call her--I never have the slightest impulse to do it anymore. So why does she still need to call me? She has her friends; why not just call them up and talk about what you want to talk to me about with them? Link to post Share on other sites
estakado Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 Hey mr_miner: She's confused bro, real messed up, maybe she is realising things and is thinking of coming back and/or she is trying to find out if she made the right decision to break up with you. Regardless, I am giving you kudos for keeping it REAL and not caving in everytime she calls. Keep up with what you have been doing and she will play her card soon to let you know how she really feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr_miner Posted July 5, 2004 Author Share Posted July 5, 2004 estakado, Thanks for the input, man. You're right... I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing, i.e., not calling her and just moving forward. I'll just assume for the time being she's interested in being friends unless something to the contrary comes along--and at that point, I'll deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
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