dy7611 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 My son is getting married, they have went together for a long time and I am happy for them. They have been off to college. I have sensed a coolness especially from my daughter in law to be and I think my ex husband, his wife or her daughter has talked about me and made me look bad. 16 yrs ago I met my husband online and left my husband and flew to Europe (bad marriage, controlling husband, very depressed). I left the kids with my ex and we rushed through a divorce. I was suffering from post partum depression and I made a lot of stupid decisions. I basically handed him custody out of stupidity. I was gone for 3 months. I woke out of my stupor and said I have to go home, my kids need me and he followed me and we were married. It is a good marriage. I did everything possible to be there for my kids. My ex was horrible to me. After 5 yrs of trying to work things out with him to have more of a fair share in how my kids are raised we went to court and I was given joint custody. That was 8 yrs ago. My son is now in college, turning 21 and getting married. I worked really hard to right my wrongs over the years and dealt with my personal guilt which was very great. The one thing I have never done is talk to my son. He was 5 at the time of the divorce. His father smeared me all over for years to make himself look like a saint. He is not a saint. I think what I did has been discussed from my ex's point of view and judgment has been made, espeically by my son's fiance. No one has said a word to me, but it is the only thing I can think of that could be causing my sudden unpopularity. I know I need to talk to my son. Do I talk to her too? I don't want to hide from this anymore, I want to do the right thing and deal with things and hopefully have a better relationship with my son and future daughter in law. Any words of advice? A really sorry Mom Link to post Share on other sites
wow04 Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I think you owe an amends to your son. Tell him how sorry you are and that you are here for him now. As for the future daughter in law, you don't owe her any explanation. It didn't involve her. Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 My parents divorced when I was 5, I still remember the day when my dad said its over to my mom infront of me. And I went trough alot of crap and BS in my life because of them + their problems. My advice is you better take care of this now before he ending hating both of his parents (for obvious reasons). I know I hate mine, its a special kind of hate, but I am so happy I experienced it because it shaped me in a man and I will give my best not to make the same mistakes of my parents. Best of luck, TAKE CARE OF IT Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Just speak from the heart, to both of them. Tell them how proud you are of them, that you know they've probably heard a lot of horrid things about you, that they're welcome to ask you anything they want, you'll be glad to answer. And apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
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