Insecure or just plain not for me?

[Brandy2680]

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My boyfriend is very insecure, it probably has to do with my past (I had a sugar daddy). This was before we met. I have been completely faithful to him, but he is constantly being needed to be reassured about us. He is constantly complaing that I don't do enough to show I care (i feel i do enough & if I did anymore I would be hanging all over him-this of course would not be me.) I am getting really annoyed & at times I just want to end it. I do love him, but maybe we are to different, I'm not as insecure as him. I like to have fun & go out. I stopped talking to a lot of people because of him (hoping this would help his insecurities). I don't know what to do. Talking doesn't get through to him.

[StartingAgain]

I don't read anything here that would indicate that he is insecure, but maybe in the interest of brevity you haven't incuded any examples of behaviors you consider insecure. What I do see is that the two of you appear to have different needs for intimacy, though you don't indicate what how you are currently expressing your intimacy or what "more" he wants you to do.

 

You say "talking doesn't get through to him." How about listening? Are you hearing him? Here's the deal; no two people have the same need for intimacy. A loving relationship is about meeting your partner's needs, not your own. If his needs are more than you are willing to give, then there's really no basis for a relationship. If he really is needy and you are uncomfortable with it, then there's no basis for a *healthy* relationship.

[moimeme]

If his needs are more than you are willing to give, then there's really no basis for a relationship

 

I agree wholeheartedly with StartingOver on this.

 

If you care about this guy and genuinely want to be with him, get a copy of Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages. You may think you're showing him affection, but you may not be doing it the way he needs to have it shown.