Will my best friend ever come around? (kind of long)

[eddiet91]

Ok so i've known this girl since the 5th grade but we've been best friends since I 8th grade so its been almost 10 years. And ever since i was a kid I've had this feeling that we are meant to be, i can still remmeber the first time i laid eyes on her. We have everything in common, our sense of humor is exactly the same i mean its all there and i still think we are meant to be together but lately its just been real hard to keep my faith. I have told her how i felt and the first time i didnt exactly get a real answer it was so long ago all i remember is that she said she always thought we would end up together in the back of her mind so i took that as a good sign and just moved on but then i started to get jealous (like a dumbass) and i brought my feelings up again but this time since she was seeing a guy her answer wasnt so vague so i had to leave her because i knew i couldnt stand seeing her with someone else because i know if she has strong feelings for him than i know she'll get closer to him and farther from me so i had to do just that. The only problem was that it was so unbearable to not be able to talk to her i started saying how much i missed her and she did the same. So when we became friends again i realized after the few months they were together she hasnt really been talking with her boyfriend and i took that as a good sign and even one day she told me she had a dream that i was laying in her lap and then we kissed . This was the first time she's ever said anything remotely sexual about us i still can't believe it because she knows how i feel and its just torture she had to bring something up like that but of course i kept it cool and said nothing of it and replied to everything else she said except for that. At this point i was thinking ther might be something because she even started to bring up when we should hang and it used to be me the one asking when we would hang not her but then one day her boyfriend broke up with her because she wasn't talking to him or showing any real kinda of affection towards him so he felt it was only him showing the love. She got really sad and eventually gets back with him (on his birthday of all days) because i guess she was just that sad without him even though she said she didn't really talk to him much and now my worse fears have been realized, were starting to get farther apart because it seems as though she doesn't want to talk to me much anymore and it sucks because it wasn't too long ago where i would ignore her so she can want to talk and she did she would say how much she misses talking to me and then just started saying she just misses me (mind you we didnt talk for a couple weeks not months just 2 weeks and she starts saying this) and saying we need to hang out because its been so long so we did hang and it was fun i mean its uck because ievery time i look at her my feelings grow stronger and stronger but i cant say anything about it because i already have and it'll just seem redundant at this point but after we hung out it didnt really seem like she wants to talk much anymore and i feel like im the only one who does want to talk and who does care if things change. I know her having this boyfriend that she "loves" is a bad sign but i dont know he guilt tripped her into going back out with him so how long is that suppose to last? but anyway i just want to know that maybe in the future do you think she'll ever come around and see that maybe the best guy she should be with is the guy shes been telling everything to for the past 10 years do you think that i would ever have a chance with my best friend or does she just like the attention i give? The only reason i havent given up yet is the fact that 1) she said when we were younger that she always thought we would end up together (i thought the same thing coincidence??) and 2) she brought up that dream of us kissing i mean i feel like if she didnt have any type of feelings for me then she wouldve never have brought up that dream or at least have left that part out and 3) I just feel like we both perfect for each other but its just im too impatient to let all thsi play out and i guess thats where my downfall is at, i havent learned the virtue of patience.

 

p.s i would've told more about her and how she is because i know this doesnt paint a good picture of who she is just know that we are very close so close our nicknames for each otherr are luna y sol (the moon and the sun) adn she is very nice dont think of her as some conceded girl or a bitch she is different than most girls thats one of the reason i feel for her in the first palce but its just been these past 2 weeks have been very hard on me because its only been two weeks since we've seen each other and now it seems as though things have changed because she wanted to tell me something bout a fight at her house and then never replied back when i asked what happened and when i asked again she just said sorry i was studying (9 hour gap btw) and idk if she notices it but i doubt that she does and another thing to add is we dont see each other much at all cuz i moved an hour away after 8th grade and have no car so the only time i see her is if i take the train. sorry if it was too long.

Edited May 2, 2012 by eddiet91

[betterdeal]

eddiet91, maybe take this time apart to develop and grow and have fun without her. I also think that maybe you need to bit a little bolder when you do next start hanging out again: ask if she still thinks you two will be together, like she said. But save that for when you feel it's a good time to ask. It might be a year or two, so have fun and be happy you had such good times together.

 

Life may turn out such that some other young lady is lucky enough to snag you: such a handsome, kind and thoughtful soul as you clearly are is real catch and many girls would be delighted to be your girlfriend.

 

You'll be okay. Maybe she will come back. Maybe she won't. Just enjoy life for what it is

 

(Oh, and no need to apologise for it being long. It was heartfelt and courageous of you to write all that! Maybe break it up into paragraphs to make it easier to read, but otherwise, it read wonderfully)

Edited May 2, 2012 by betterdeal