How can I find my lost friend?

[Feeling helpless]

Please... if any of you know of a great way to find someone in the US... please let me know.

 

My best friend in the world joined the army a couple of years ago. Since then, I've only heard from him a few times. And usually he's moving a lot, so I haven't been able to keep up with the addresses. Anyway, he was home last Christmas and we planned to spend time with each other. I saw him one time. He told me that he was going to be moving again, but he gave no address or anything, and then just disappeared before I got to say goodbye or anything. Now, I haven't heard from him once since December. I have no address to contact him at. No phone numbers. I have NO WAY of getting a hold of him and I'm feeling really helpless. Have any of you ever lost the most important person in your life? It's so hard and I'll do anything to find him again. Mostly just to know that he's okay and still alive out there.

 

Any help would be so great! Thanks.

[Tony T]

You should always keep a few phone numbers of relatives of your friends so they can assist in cases like this.

 

There are many sites on the Internet that find people. If you have a friend who works for an insurance company, apartment complex or some other business that runs credit checks, they can run a query and find his current address real quick. Used to need a social security number but not any more.

 

There are also numerous sites on the Internet that help search for phone numbers but if this dude moves a lot, I don't think the search engines could keep up with him.

 

He'll surface again one day and you can get a number for some of his relatives. Meanwhile, if the two of you are so close, why doesn't he keep up with you? Friendship is a two way street. If I had a friend I had to bust my butt to find all the time, it would sort of piss me off.

[humiliated]

I know what you mean, Tony. It is super hard that he's kind of blowing me off like this. And absolutely with almost anyone else, I would return the favor. But things are different with him because he means the world to me. It is not like him to just disappear off the earth like this. And that worries me. The only phone number I had was of his mother, his only relative I know. I called it today and she said that she has no idea where he is. So, that adds additional worry because he's even left his own mother in the dark. Now, this isn't that huge a deal because they've never really gotten along; so I'm sure she hasn't even searched for him. But for about seven years he has come to me with everything in his life. He called me his angel. And he was certainly my angel too. I do not understand his sudden silence and I am constantly worried that something terrible has happened to him.

 

I have no other numbers of his family or friends to contact. I don't even know names of these people to try to get a hold of. I am at a stand-still.

 

I'm wracking my brain to think of someone I know who could run a credit check on him, but to no paticular avail. I can't think of anyone! Do you think running on of those internet detective searches that charge about $30 would be worth my money? I don't want to get scammed or anything. But it is important for me to find him... without making him feel like I've invaded his space.

 

I'm sorry for rambling like this... but I have no idea what to do! Do I wait around for him to come back to me? Do I do whatever I can to find him to make sure he's not in trouble? Or do I continue to sit here and worry away my days, missing him? What do ya think?

[Tony T]

After reading this post, I am very angry at him now. If the two of you have been close for a long time, he has got to know that you will worry like this. I think he is extremely inconsiderate. I am mad at him.

 

Now, he is your friend and we've got to find him...at least long enough for you to make sure he is OK...so he can then disappear again. I think the services you mention are legitimate. I have known of these Internet people finders reuniting lost loves, biological parents of adopted children, etc. However, I don't know how successful they would be in finding someone as nomadic as your friend. It is worth giving a try.

 

There may be missing persons forums on the Internet where you can post his name and a description and people may write you back who may work with him or know him in his current circumstances.

 

You might call the local detective division or missing persons division of your local police for other hints on how you might find him.

 

His mother may have his social security number, which would be helpful if you hire one of the Internet people finding services.

 

His behavioral profile is similar to that of someone who is heavily involved in drug trafficing. I hope I'm wrong. But he very well could be in jail...or worse. If he were legitimately occupied and of capable of reasonable human feelings, there would be no reason not to keep in touch with someone who cares so much about him.

 

This guy is really lucky to have you for a friend. I have friends living right in my town who have my number and won't even pick up the phone to tell me off. And here you are making such an effort to find and care about a friend who blows you off. God bless you!!! I do wish you luck.

 

I hope you will eternally be grateful for your friends who do keep in regular contact with you.

[Friendless]

Thank you for all your help, really. I'm not sure what I'll do yet. My birthday is coming up and I'm really hoping that he'll try to contact me. Other than that, I suppose I'll continue to try everything I can to find him. I seriously hope that you're wrong about the drugs and stuff. He was never like that. He's the best person I've ever known and I hate the thought of him changing. I just hope that wherever he is out there... he knows that I love him.

[Tony T]

If you are really Friendless, as your name suggests, I hope you will put far more energy into finding friends who are nearby, who are dependable, who are responsible, who care equally for you, who will keep in touch, who will be there for you, who will be supportive, etc., than in looking for your old buddy.

 

You seem like you would be a great friend and you deserve people around you who are more like you...more caring, more dedicated, more considerate, more loving.

 

My greatest wish for you this day is that you can make some new and better friends who will be supportive in your journey on this planet. Friends are a treasure...and when we have to hunt them down all over the globe because they don't contact us...it can leave us with a VERY empty feeling.