Strip club/private male stripper question

[dj321001]

Hey,

I have a small question, and if you are able to answer, I would very much appreciate it. So thanks in advance!

So I've been going out with my girlfriend for 7 months. One of her friends is a frequent visitor to the "All Male Revue" and goes to male strip clubs. She always asks my girlfriend if she wants to go. Usually, I'm OK with it. But over some time, i've heard some stories from people about male strip clubs, such as guests being allowed to give the male performer blowjobs, the male stripper feeling up the women and even read somewhere that for $200, you can have sex with them. I'm not sure if this stuff is true or not(especially the last one, as that would be a form of prostitution; although plausible in Nevada where that's legal). So I was wandering if anyone can tell me if this stuff happens at male strip clubs? Btw, I live in California if that helps since laws may be different in other places.

 

What about hiring a private stripper to come to your house. I heard that even more stuff happens with a privately hired male stripper.

 

I hope you guys can help me straighten the facts and fiction. Thanks!

[dawns19]

Everything you just mentioned about u heard about the stippers are basically true, however, you need to have more faith and trust then that. Trust in your gf, she knows what she's doing, and I highly doubt she'll do anything with the strippers considering she's with you..

[undecided]

the problem with that is... see i consider myself a good person. i dont to bad things, im not hateful, i dont cheat. but i do enjoy the strippers every now and then. but i sometimes go with my girlfriend.

 

i went one time and my buddy ...well... basically ...had relations with a stripper for money. yeah its illegal yeah it happens.

 

i have another friend whos brother is a male stripper. he has at least 3 girlsfriends at a time, and 2 black books, i forget the reasoning behind the 2 but i know it was a controlled system for women managment..

 

anyway it was out of the question when my gf's friends wanted to drag her to the male strippers- for me to come with. no way would i go to a sausage fest. but if she did go it would make me uneasy. in my eyes boys are different than girls, i feel the strip club with naked guys would be wayyyy more dirty and risky for infedelity than the gentelmens club.

 

tough call.

 

but if you arent there... how can you know for sure.

i would make a solid case.

 

trust is tough.

[dj321001]

thanks.

I do trust her, its just that I wanted to see if what I've heard is actually true. So far, it sounds like it is, and that makes me even more uncomfortable than usual. She also gets excited when she sees the ads in magazines for male strip clubs. not too long ago, she cut out acouple of them, so I still kinda wonder how far she would go.

 

So this leaves me with another question with which i need advice on. Would it be wrong to ask a friend who would also go to the stripclub with them to spy on my girlfriend to see what she does do? Or is that going to far?

 

One more thing, how easy is it to get too "friendly" with a male stripper? Like is it very wide-spread among the club or is it very rare to see illegal activity?

 

thanks again guys. I hope you can help, I just want to be informed on this subject so i can make a logical and rational decision when my girlfriend asks me if she can go.

 

peace out from San Jose

-DJ

[undecided]

i would do what you suggested, send a friend to spy. thats the only way you can be sure.

 

ive had friends dragged on stage at naked woman strip clubs, and they were shackeld to the cieling and stripped down... so yeah its really easy to get involved. i dont see it being just a social gathering like the guys do, we just sit there and drink our 7$ beers and say no to 20$ lap dances..

[twalkoe]

WOW! A guy who's worried about his woman at a strip club!!! I'm glad to see that it isn't just women worrying about their men.

 

First of all...the male review thing...harmless. I know that men can get favors in strip clubs, but this is an enviornment that is difficult at best to get a "favor" in.

 

It's most likely that she is getting attention and having close proximity with these guys... Think of what happens at a strip club for men...same thing for women.

 

However...you're walking a very thin line. Men for years have been saying that it doesn't mean anything when they walk in and give a female stripper a dollar to "cop a feel." If this is the situation with you and if you have ever defended strip clubs...you have to be very careful about what your little "spy" reports back to you. Don't do the double standard thing!

 

Have you ever just thought of telling her that it's cool to go every once in awhile, but that the freuency is growing and it's making you uncomfortable?

[jmargel]

Male strip clubs are ALOT worse than female ones. Guys you know from experience that you can't touch the girls, even when lap dances are done.

 

My EX-fiancee, while at the time things were going bad, lied to me one night and went with a friend to see the chipendales.

 

I knew she lied, and about 2 weeks later finally admitted to it. What he did to her was mild. She was 5'7, 120 lbs, 36D. He took her dollar bills, shoved them in her button down shirt & took them out with his teeth. To me, this was cheating. I was PISSED. She then had the nerve to say her friend, who was also engaged was french kissing another stripper.

 

These male strippers have a very large ego, and they don't care about the guy sitting home. I wonder how your gf would take to you going to a strip club. If she knows this bothers you so much, she shouldn't go. Plain and simple. I would talk to her about this, not tell her she can't go, but that it would bother you if she did. That you respect her enough not to make her feel this uncomfortable and you would like the same.

 

If she still goes then you really need to consider who you are with. Anytime I goto a female strip club, my fiancee goes with (she likes going to them), but she mentioned she would never goto a male one.

 

If your gf goes, I know when she comes back she'll play it down like it was no big thing. Don't fall for that. Like I said before the male strip clubs are alot worse in many ways.

[msrealdoll]

I don't agree with sending a spy. I think that's crossing the line. Part of being in a relationship is trust. If you have so little trust in her that you would have her spied on, then you have much bigger problems than male strip clubs.

[jenk]

I love it when the tables get turned around on the guys....If you feel it is alright for you to go to strip clubs, then you don't have any right telling your women not to go. You trust them don't you? Isn't that the line you boys always use when you go?

[dj321001]

Well, I don't go to strip clubs, and honestly, I've never been to one. To me, I'de rather spend the money on more useful things. So don't get me wrong, I'm not living a double-standard. It's because of my ignorance on this topic which was why I'm trying to get an idea what goes on.

[dj321001]

Oh yeah, one other thing. I would agree with msrealdoll that its wrong to spy on my girlfriend, but what jmargel said about playing the event down, because she went to LA for the weekend to see family, and some of her friends took her to a male strip club since it was her birthday a week before that. When she mentioned that, she really did play it down. Like she would say, "It was nothing" and move on to another subject. I eventually got her to mention that one of her friends mentioned to a stripper that it was her birthday, so the stripper brought her up to a stage and had her sit down on a stool. Well, I'm not sure exactly what goes on in that situation(maybe someone could give me possible outcomes), but too me, that doesn't sound like it was nothing. So do you guys have a good idea on how to get an accurate idea with spying being the last resort. ANd of course I'll sit and talk with her about it first to see if she'll just say what happened herself.

 

thanks again

[undecided]

remember my friend who got chained to the cieling? i dont know if i can post here everything that happen to him as my posts get reviewed by moderators and it is quite obscene. but just to throw it out there... it was his birthday too.... and it involved whips -he had welts and scars -i saw them at work the next day, it involved magic markers, he had to wear a pig mask, and it involved interesting objects. i cant see a guy punishing a girl on her birthday though.

[jenk]

In a relationship I feel it is not respectful for either the guy or the girl to go to these clubs. I've been one time to a male revue, and decided right then and there I would end any relationship if my boyfriend/husband went to a strip club.

 

My girlfriend was allowed to pull the guys g-string out in the front and place money inside. The next guy she decided to do the same with and he even held the front down himself. When the women beside me saw this, they pushed me out of the way so they could join my friend. By the time he went down the line of us he had his g-string down to his knees and was hard. My friend never touched his privates, but the women beside me did. He was actually encouraging a girl who was not as bold as the others to take a feel. After that I walked out and left my girlfriend inside. I can only imagine what she partook in once I left her.

 

Anyways, I personally don't feel these clubs are for people in a committed relationship!

[jmargel]

I was at a nude strip club w/ my fiancee, and it was another guy's bachelor's party there. They embrassed him pretty bad. Spanking him hard with belts, and made him bark like a dog. It was quite funny, however they sat on his lap certain ways, etc.. It was more comical than sexual.

 

Though like I said before, male strip clubs are alot worse. If it was her birthday I can only imagine they were doing some sexual things to her. They don't put her in a chair on the stage and just let her sit there. You have every right for details of that night. Apparently she liked it enough to want to go back.

 

When my ex-fiancee did that to me, I knew we were over. Someone that was able to lie to me and do those things with another guy (doesn't matter if its a stripper or not) apparently doesn't respect & love me enough and doesn't deserve to be with me.

 

I've always taken the stance if something one partner wants to do would make the other uncomfortable, then there needs to be enough respect not to do such things.

[Pyrannaste]

i dont see it being just a social gathering like the guys do, we just sit there and drink our 7$ beers and say no to 20$ lap dances..

 

I love double standards like this one.

I don't see why it is okay for a man to have a naked chick rub all over him for 20$ and not for a girl to touch some big bamboo for free.

 

I think that people who are not single, whether they be male or females, do not belong to places like strip clubs. Unless their partner genuinely has no problems with it.

 

dj321001,

why you don't show up at the club instead of having someone else spying on your girlfriend?

Or even better: ask her to go with her.

So you can see what happens in places like that by yourself.

If you see *anything* you don't like, discuss it with her.

 

Would she have problems if you went to a strip club with your buddies?

[FreeMe]

Originally posted by jmargel

Male strip clubs are ALOT worse than female ones. Guys you know from experience that you can't touch the girls, even when lap dances are done.

 

 

That's not true. The female ones are just as bad and worse. It depends on the particular club. In fact, someone posted a couple of months ago that her husband had gone to one, had lap dances, was allowed to touch, and the stripper made him come intentionally. Said something like "I'm not leaving until you come".

Many of the women's are just disguised prostitution - maybe not the full deal always but close enough but it's under the guise of a strip club which is legal. Just like "escort services" (and some massage parlors) are prostitution that the law turns a blind eye to.

[Mr Spock 2]

Originally posted by jmargel

Male strip clubs are ALOT worse than female ones. Guys you know from experience that you can't touch the girls, even when lap dances are done.

 

My EX-fiancee, while at the time things were going bad, lied to me one night and went with a friend to see the chipendales.

 

I knew she lied, and about 2 weeks later finally admitted to it. What he did to her was mild. She was 5'7, 120 lbs, 36D. He took her dollar bills, shoved them in her button down shirt & took them out with his teeth. To me, this was cheating. I was PISSED. She then had the nerve to say her friend, who was also engaged was french kissing another stripper.

 

These male strippers have a very large ego, and they don't care about the guy sitting home. I wonder how your gf would take to you going to a strip club. If she knows this bothers you so much, she shouldn't go. Plain and simple. I would talk to her about this, not tell her she can't go, but that it would bother you if she did. That you respect her enough not to make her feel this uncomfortable and you would like the same.

 

If she still goes then you really need to consider who you are with. Anytime I goto a female strip club, my fiancee goes with (she likes going to them), but she mentioned she would never goto a male one.

 

If your gf goes, I know when she comes back she'll play it down like it was no big thing. Don't fall for that. Like I said before the male strip clubs are alot worse in many ways.

 

It's not like they get the crowd to fellate them as they prance by. Yes, it's rowdier than strip clubs for men because it's a reveiw, not too many places have full monty men shows on a regular basis-that's why they call it ladies night. I personally think they're a hoot, and harmless. I am suprised that you were so angry at your ex for that-I don't know your past history but I wouldn't feel guilty about that at all. And I wouldn't consider it cheating.

 

I'm not sure, I guess if I had a BF things like that would be silly fun to me-after the show I'd go home and jump him.......I'd get all worked up but I'd turn the right way.

[faux]

i dont see it being just a social gathering like the guys do, we just sit there and drink our 7$ beers and say no to 20$ lap dances..

 

Originally posted by Pyrannaste

I love double standards like this one.

I don't see why it is okay for a man to have a naked chick rub all over him for 20$ and not for a girl to touch some big bamboo for free.

 

He said, "...and say no to 20$ lap dances...".

 

It would seem that male strip clubs provide easier access to "favors" in exchange for money, or just "free" favors to be honest. I do not believe the male strippers would actively seek out women and attempt to force them to do things, however. It just seems that, if a woman wanted, she would have absolutely no problem getting a male stripper to do anything with her.

[Pyrannaste]

Originally posted by faux

 

He said, "...and say no to 20$ lap dances...".

 

Wooops. thank you, Faux.

Undecided, I owe you my apologies.

 

It would seem that male strip clubs provide easier access to "favors" in exchange for money, or just "free" favors to be honest. I do not believe the male strippers would actively seek out women and attempt to force them to do things, however. It just seems that, if a woman wanted, she would have absolutely no problem getting a male stripper to do anything with her.

 

I confirm this from my only one visit to a male strip club and from several tales of my female friends who went to different strip clubs.

 

Only a minority of women seek contact with strippers though. The majority of ladies(at least in strip clubs here) are just there for fun.... they might even be screaming compliments (hey, it's an occasion where you can NOT be ladylike) at the guys, but they aren't even looking at them much.

 

A girl I know slept with a stripper after a visit at a strip club where the 'California Dream Men' were performing on their tour in Europe. But she was single and she liked casual sex.

It was some of them strippers approaching all the ladies they found beautiful and inviting them to their hotel room.s From her tale, she ended up with six ladies queueing up in this guy's hotel suite ...he had sex with all them.

I found that pretty disgusting. How can you possibly want to have sex with a stripper who will have sex with half a dozen more girls the very same night?

I am still somewhat hoping that she and my other female friends who were there at the strip club and told me this story were just joking

[jmargel]

Originally posted by Mr Spock 2

It's not like they get the crowd to fellate them as they prance by. Yes, it's rowdier than strip clubs for men because it's a reveiw, not too many places have full monty men shows on a regular basis-that's why they call it ladies night. I personally think they're a hoot, and harmless. I am suprised that you were so angry at your ex for that-I don't know your past history but I wouldn't feel guilty about that at all. And I wouldn't consider it cheating.

 

I'm not sure, I guess if I had a BF things like that would be silly fun to me-after the show I'd go home and jump him.......I'd get all worked up but I'd turn the right way.

 

Regarding my ex, first off, she lied. Lied for 2 weeks about it, second if some guy were to come upto my girl and bury his face into her chest & she was fine with it, then that's disrespecting me and crossing 'boundaries'. My ex-fiancee was very closed minded in regards to what 'I' was allowed to do. It was a double-standard.

 

My fiancee now is totally different. We goto female strip clubs together, and the lap dances I've seen were men just sitting there while the women got on top of them. At no point did the guy touch her. I've never seen any kissing either, where as those male 'review' shows have that.

 

If you were my gf and didn't feel guilty about lying to me about going there, and then doing what she did well, you wouldn't be my gf for long. And for my girl getting worked up by some other guy to come home to me & want sex? HA! Forget it. That's just nasty.

[tiki]

Originally posted by jmargel

My fiancee now is totally different. We goto female strip clubs together

 

Ok it just seems like a double standard here??? Would you go with your girlfriend/fiancee to a MALE strip club? Please tell me you would!

[jenk]

jmargel,

 

Just curious...how come you and your girlfriend don't go to the male revue together?

[jenk]

sorry.... just noticed the question had been asked.

[jmargel]

It's because she has no desire to. I asked her. When we rent porn, she likes the lesibian porn. We usually rent that. She's unique, which is what I like about her. If she really wanted to goto a male one, I wouldn't have a problem going with her. But she thinks most men aren't very attractive (the ones on the porn tapes) and she has a curiousity about women as well.

[tiki]

I still feel like she should drag you to one and see how she gets her rocks off by watching these hot guys dance all around her....THEN you can relate. But if that's her preference, well, that's just her preference.

 

If my boyfriend took me to a strip club, hmm, I think I'd have to dump him. That's not a date. That's not how you court someone. That's a disgrace to her. This is only my opinion. I don't think my boyfriend would like it if I took him out on the town so that he can see me get my rocks off on some other man.