Serafyn Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Hi all and please help! I am currently living in a friends spare bedroom. I was due to get married to my fiancé on 1st aug 2012. About four weeks ago my partner mark became argumentative and very critical of me. He complained that I was 'badgering' him constantly about different things like sharing money and house deeds etc and that I was jealous of his late wife. For some of this time he avoided me stayed at friends etc. He called the wedding off, we got back then he called it off again I couldn't take much more. Then 3 days ago he issued me with an eviction notice stating that as the house belongs to him my children and I had 21 days to vacate his house terrified of what was happening I explained that I still loved him deeply but left that day. My children are staying with grandparents and I'm in a friends spare room. I don't feel like I have committed hideous crimes against him to warrant this in fact I feel deadly shocked to top it all off I have lost money on a honeymoon I paid for when now when I have no furniture or home I could well do with I miss him terribly we had a very strong connection and loved each other to bits I just can't make any sense of it. We were even going to Thorpe park over the weekend and had a hotel booked which he booked??? So it doesn't make sense?? I have only received business like texts from him about where to drop my clothes etc no calls. Would there be a reconciliation? Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Right now. Unlikely. I'm really sorry you're going through this. I think there's more here than meets the eye. But until you/we have more information, I think it's very dififcult to advise you other than to suggest you sort out the practical issues first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Serafyn Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 Yes I've found somewhere furnished to live already as house was his and also furniture. I just don't get it it's so illogical he's not contacting me at all either and we were so very close we text each other made love etc it was great. He's been so very cruel to me and my kids. Also said he didn't love me any more but I don't believe it. What I'm doing is not texting or calling and leaving him to stew but I also have to move on too I know Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Even if you do reconcile, I'm not sure how you could forgive him for his behaviour. His actions show that he does not love you. I'm sorry, but yes, you do need to think about yourself and your children now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Yes I've found somewhere furnished to live already as house was his and also furniture. I just don't get it it's so illogical he's not contacting me at all either and we were so very close we text each other made love etc it was great. He's been so very cruel to me and my kids. Also said he didn't love me any more but I don't believe it. What I'm doing is not texting or calling and leaving him to stew but I also have to move on too I know You haven't stated what happened to create this change. Did you cheat? Argue? Have something that brought this on? You're avoiding giving us info that might help us understand how to help you. You need to figure out how to be with your children! Get busy figuring out how to make that happen. You can't depend on him - depend only upon yourself to support yourself and your kids. Do you work? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I don't feel like I have committed hideous crimes against him to warrant this He certainly has committed a hideous crime to you though... This is a man who was going to be your husband.. your Children's Step Father and the man who only gave you all less than 3 weeks to "get out". What an eff'ng eff wad he is.. I hope you are not thinking about going back to him... you are only seeing the tip of the iceberg in how he treats people he is supposed to love. Can you imagine if you had married him what he would have done to your children then once he had power and control in the marriage... Be glad he called it off...very glad... Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Why the hell would you want him back? Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Why the hell would you want him back? ^^^ This Seriously, what he did is unforgivable. Forget about the harm he caused you for a minute, but think about the damage he did to your kids disrupting their lives like that. I think you dodged a bullet here. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Wow and you still missed him? If a man treated me like that, I wouldn't even want to be friends with him. He would be dead in my eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Serafyn Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 Thank you all for your kind comments it was great to see help this morning I woke up and I hate that moment when the pain returns In answer to your questions - no I did not cheat I was devoted to him and my kids loved him. We were arguing I was 'pushing him' in his words to combine finances and put my name on house deads and he flipped. Does it helP to say three years ago his first wife died then his father had a stroke and he had to take care of his fathers finances? His mum was always badgering him about money etc because he had power of attorney. Also his wife died leaving 50 grands worth of debt..... I feel I have took the rap for all of these things He was a very negative person always calling people at work etc You all might say lucky escape but I loved him he was going to be my husband. On the day I left he was very angry with me said he didn't love me. Yes unfortunately I do want him back I'm moving to a lovely cottage with my kids Monday Link to post Share on other sites
Author Serafyn Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 Forgot to add I'm a primary school teacher part time. The head gave me few days off work hoping to return next week x Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Forgot to add I'm a primary school teacher part time. The head gave me few days off work hoping to return next week x Get to working full time. You'll need the income to support your kids. Don't ever put yourself at the mercy of needing a mans financial help. Support yourself and stay focused on your kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sw3etdev1L Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I think this is for the best. Why would you want someone who gives you so much emotional burden, so unstable. Why would you want that for your kids? Can't you take this case into a legal trial???.. this sounds so unfair. I think justice should interphere. You should get legal advice. Was the house part yours? He can't just kick you out if some of your money was there. My advice is , get a job too. Keep loving yourself now more than ever because this is just a second seen as days of torture because you are going through it, but believe me when it passes, you'll have a house, marry someone worth of you and be absolutely happy. Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I'd be very wary of a SO being so fixated on gaining access to my wealth and finances especially before we are even married. I'd find my love for her to be in error and would break it off as well but then again I wouldn't make the mistake of proposing to her to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Lionblade Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I'd be very wary of a SO being so fixated on gaining access to my wealth and finances especially before we are even married. I'd find my love for her to be in error and would break it off as well but then again I wouldn't make the mistake of proposing to her to begin with. That's exactly what I was thinking. I know we only have an OP to go by on forums but people need to think logically and realize there are two sides to every story and people usually paint themselves in a good light. Why is the OP so insistent to put his house under her name and gain access to his money before they're even married? Link to post Share on other sites
GardenDiva Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Well in my opinion, she shouldn't have even had to ASK to have those financial things done. My husband brought those things up before we got married and took care of it all on his own. I never would have asked anyway. And I'm not blaming the OP because something like that should have never set him off. His reaction should have been "Of course, darling. I was going to talk to you about that." But instead, look how he handled it. You dodged a huge bullet with this guy! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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