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What does she want!!!!!


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A friend of mine told me about a cousin of his father.

He married and divorced 6 times with one and only woman.

Eventually he is divorced but currently he is working in a company owned by his ex. Funny story, isn't it :)

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Thanks Nukem,

 

Sorry to hear about your divorce, but as you say you cant wait forever.

 

As for the story, that is mad.

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Life is so hard at times, my wife is acting like nothing has changed, instead she wants me to arrange a new house, all her benefits etc, because she knows it will be done right. I am happy to do this but she has to help.

 

Last night she said she was going for tea with one of her girlfriends, however she was seen at a male friends house and got home after 10pm. She just lies her bag off!!

 

Tonight will be fun when we discuss lawyers etc!!!

 

The problem is I would still fight for her for my sake and the families, am I mad???

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Hi Owl,

 

I agree it all very confusing. We are separating at the mo, until divorce proceedings are issued once she has moved out.

 

I think reconciling is not an option as she has moved on already in her head. And the trust has gone, which would take a long time with hard work to return.

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I think she is whats commonly referred to as a hoochie. If she wants an open relationship remind her you are not gonna stop because her looks start fading.

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Thanks Tiberius, I agree, when asked if she wants an open relationship, she says no way. It is obviously OK for her to play, but when it is me the answer is no. She wants all of the cake!!

 

Anyway, I think she has now found a house to move to and we can then start divorce proceedings.

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soserious1

OP, judging by her age & the ages of your children I'm wondering if your wife married you basically because her biological clock was winding down & she wanted children? Now she's got her two kids, the tough baby/ toddler years are done, soon they'll both be school & she figures it's time to dump you?

 

Is it possible she married you primarily because she wanted kids & you were an available, dependable option?

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Thanks SoSerios1, your points are exactly what I am thinking and am now starting to believe. I was different to the norm and dependable, therefore she used me for a big wedding (party for her) and 2 children.

 

I dont think she ever wanted marriage, but I think she couldn't have gone through life without children, hence she used me for her needs. It suited her at the time and now the children are at school, she can gain some of her old life back on the prowl.

 

I think your synopsis is absolutely bang on. It is a great feeling when you are used - NOT!

 

But at the end of the day I have gained 2 great children.

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Thanks SoSerios1, your points are exactly what I am thinking and am now starting to believe. I was different to the norm and dependable, therefore she used me for a big wedding (party for her) and 2 children.

 

I dont think she ever wanted marriage, but I think she couldn't have gone through life without children, hence she used me for her needs. It suited her at the time and now the children are at school, she can gain some of her old life back on the prowl.

 

I think your synopsis is absolutely bang on. It is a great feeling when you are used - NOT!

 

But at the end of the day I have gained 2 great children.

 

Manhattan,

 

I'm sorry to hear this. I agree that MANY (but not all) women just use men to have children. And they aren't even afraid of the divorce because they know they will win primary or full custody 99% of the time and they will automatically get 50% of everything. So it's a win-win for them.

 

This is why men need to be cautious regarding marriage. Young men need to be taught the facts: 65% of divorces are initiated by women, courts are biased in their favor regarding custody and alimony, and there are numerous double-standards for women...for example, I was assaulted by my wife, there was police photographs taken, yet it hardly impacted the judge's ruling at all. Now imagine if I was ME who assaulted her--even if the assault was less severe than what I received and it didn't cause visible bruising. I would be lucky if I ever saw my kids again. These are just the facts. Young men should know them.

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Thanks M30USA, I agree that a lot of woman use the fact that they are female to get what they want (not all admittedly), I was just unlucky that the woman I fell in love with and married for the right reasons did not.

 

As for your point of role reversal, then the court would have thrown the book at you and you would still be fighting the courts now for your rights. It just shows that equality is a long way off and the male in a marriage has little or no rights.

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Thanks M30USA, I agree that a lot of woman use the fact that they are female to get what they want (not all admittedly), I was just unlucky that the woman I fell in love with and married for the right reasons did not.

 

As for your point of role reversal, then the court would have thrown the book at you and you would still be fighting the courts now for your rights. It just shows that equality is a long way off and the male in a marriage has little or no rights.

 

In a marriage, the husband loses all his rights, while his responsibilites are doubled. However, the wife gains more rights and privelages, while her responsibilites are cut in half.

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In a marriage, the husband loses all his rights, while his responsibilites are doubled. However, the wife gains more rights and privelages, while her responsibilites are cut in half.

 

Wow...did I ever marry the wrong man, then. (Not that I didn't already know that)

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Wow...did I ever marry the wrong man, then. (Not that I didn't already know that)

 

Forgive me...maybe I'm just speaking from my own experience. I look at the marriage between my wife's parents and it's no mystery where this precedent came from. My FIL works like a slave and is up and obedient the very second his wife gives him an order. And yet if he (heaven forbid) stops by the gym on way home from work then she gives him a hissy fit. I don't know if they realize how they come off, but it's clear as day that SHE is running the show and, as much as they talk about the concept of "the man of the house", actions speak louder than words...all he looks like to me is a workhorse and a punching bag.

 

I only bring this up because it modelled what my wife expected in a husband.

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Forgive me...maybe I'm just speaking from my own experience. I look at the marriage between my wife's parents and it's no mystery where this precedent came from. My FIL works like a slave and is up and obedient the very second his wife gives him an order. And yet if he (heaven forbid) stops by the gym on way home from work then she gives him a hissy fit. I don't know if they realize how they come off, but it's clear as day that SHE is running the show and, as much as they talk about the concept of "the man of the house", actions speak louder than words...all he looks like to me is a workhorse and a punching bag.

 

I only bring this up because it modelled what my wife expected in a husband.

 

Yes, every one is different. I worked more and was more responsible for bills,etc. in my marriage and I still am more responsible than he will ever be. It takes all kinds.:)

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Hi Steen719, I agree with your comments everybody is different and carent all be tarnished by the same brush.

 

I stand by my principals in treating people as I would like to be treated, which in turn allows me to sleep at night with a clear conscience. I dont think my wife can do the same.

 

At the end of the day it is her loss and she will be feeling lonely in later life.

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She now wants me to clear her debts and buy her out of the house. Its all one way I feel!

 

The house is one thing but as we both have debts - good luck.

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