So, so sick of my ex contacting me.

[fucpcg]

With respect, have you ever had an ex that continued to leave messages on your phone day and night, years after your relationship had ended? I want him to move on not just for my sake, but for his as well. I thought the best way to facilitate this was to go no-contact. Maybe, maybe not.

 

Okay I'll give you that I don't know the whole story, however my statement came from what you did write, and your hostility toward him. Your post could have been along the lines of "I don't know how to fix this situation" vs. the approach you took. And to post in a Coping section of a Breakup forum... like me posting "I belted my wife in the mouth" thread in an abused womens forum. Not very fitting.

[NeverDated]

Okay I'll give you that I don't know the whole story, however my statement came from what you did write, and your hostility toward him. Your post could have been along the lines of "I don't know how to fix this situation" vs. the approach you took. And to post in a Coping section of a Breakup forum... like me posting "I belted my wife in the mouth" thread in an abused womens forum. Not very fitting.

Well...she is coping with a breakup. Just the side of a breakup that isn't often discussed here. Don't usually see posts from those on the receiving end of the obsessed exes...

[wilsonx]

Your ex is screwed.

 

Just change your number and get it over with because it wont ever end. You are avoiding.

 

You have 3 options, stick to NC and keep feeling frustrated, talk to him figure out what he wants, change your number, text all your contacts the new number and you are good to go.

 

Posting here twice in 2 months hasnt solved the whole NC thing

Edited May 4, 2012 by wilsonx

[melenkurion]

I don't think you are heartless, you've just described the situation somewhat dispassionately. It's fine if you no longer want to have contact with him, that's not evil. Being the one who ended the relationship makes no difference here, if you don't want to see him, that's fine.

 

All you owe an ex is to end it with dignity and honesty, and to treat them with as much respect and consideration as is possible while disentangling (sorting put living arrangements, returning possessions and so on).

 

Tell him you don't want contact, and close off all means of contact.

[dsw31]

Coffeegirl,

 

I don't think you are cold & heartless at all!

 

I was the dumpee & my ex used to text me here & there, all the time.It have me false hope.You are doing the right thing by sticking to your guns.I think Jenisflora gave you some great advice.You can explain it to him one time & then change your number.You are not being cruel (infact you're doing the right thing)Give him time to get over you.Seems like he is stuck in the denial/bargaining stage.

[EgoJoe]

It is a character flaw to avoid when confrontation has never even been tried so far as to have a chance to fail.

[BewitchedandBothered]

explain to him that really, it's doing him no service at all to be in touch with you.

you're broken up, you have been for a while, and you're moving on with your life.

you're glad to see that he seems to be too, but this constant re-establishment of contact is really not helping matters.

so, you're going to make it absolutely clear yo him: You're breaking off all and any possible contact, and you will be blocking his number on your phone.

He will not hear from you again, because life has led you in different directions.

You wish him well, but that's all there is, and goodbye.

 

Send.

block.

every possible nook, cranny or access point.

move on.

 

Done.

FWIW, I don't think - as others here seem to - that you've been cold, callous heartless or cruel.

It began, it peaked it ended.

everything does.

 

Oh, and by the way:

Karma is Action, not Consequence.

Consequence only bites you hard on the ass, if you mete out that manner of unkindness first.

Whatever the karma, there will be a result.

When?

who knows?

We all dish something out.

We all get something back.

but karma doesn't judge, condemn, vilify, hammer, bring about retribution, or give come-uppance.

Karma is as karma does.

what happens next - is up to you.

 

Sorry guys, I'm not really expecting much feedback on this... just wanted to RANT.

 

I broke up with my ex nearly two years ago. He is still contacting me.

 

We had been together for three and a half years, but in the end I felt we had different priorities and needs and our lives were going in different directions. Ultimately I felt we were incompatible. We had been having problems/growing apart for a good 12 months before the actual breakup, which I initiated. Unfortunately it was over-the-phone as he had just moved cities (this was not the reason for the break up but probably helped 'break the camels back.')

 

He did not take it very well. We had a few lengthy conversations discussing it where I explained my position and my reasoning, and on the surface he said he understood, but I don't think he really understood my feelings at all. After that he sent me a lot of very emotional text messages and I tried to be patient but in the end I told him I was going no contact and requested he do the same.

 

Now, he keeps intermittently contacting me by text, nearly two years later. Telling me how he is, what he is doing, wanting to see me/catch up with me (he recently moved back to my city). I am SO sick of it. I don't want to catch up, I don't want to be friends, when I am done, I'm DONE. New page and all that. He just texted me then, in fact, which is what precipitated this rant. It's like the fact that I haven't responded to him for a year hasn't registered with him at all. Funnily enough it shows the same obliviousness to my feelings as he demonstrated when we were together. Urrgh.

 

Changing my number is not really an option as I use it with my work contacts.

 

I guess it's probably not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's an annoyance and feels like an intrusion into my personal space.

 

/rant.

 

Has anyone else dealt with anything like this before?

You can change your number and give that new number to your work contacts. Is there a small part of you that would miss his attention if you change your number and he can't reach you?